It has been so long the since I took the risk of starting
out on my own from a 'set job' of 6 years to get involved with a chap about the hospitol world and IT.... which did not work
out since he was not ready to take a leap and put in extra time, or take any time away from his family to create somthing...
so then I took time to chill since the exhaustive divorce was finally final the draining automaton nature of the government
work was not in my face working with people only concerned with pension plans and so I took time off. 'I can get work easy'
I thought....
... that was a year ago about right now... ides of March
fuck
After taking some time to regroup and center... I started in sending out
resumes.... 3 a day being the goal. I do not want to even COUNT how many I have sent out, how many interviews I
have had, and now..... WTF
I received a packet from my Mom from my old high school as I was looking
for a copy of my inoculation records. In the packet was information on test scores, a letter from the guidence counsoler and
stuff. Ouch. One good thing/feedback from that was is that I have a very high comprehension of the written word. ... hmmmm
To write, to read, to digest grok and formulate new words for others to
read. ... hmmmm
anyway... thinking about that. thinking about appropriate goals, needs,
issues to address....
As this font is blue, so am I. I joked yesterday with a friend 'all this
last year is good training for being out on the ocean solo sailing' ... i have to have endurance of character of spirit of
sanity.
i have to not drink any more of that homemade clear liquid from a friend
of mine.... I had two ounzes or so mixed with lemonade... and when i woke up from the sofa to crawl to bed.... my head hurt,
i was woozy, it was not cool. maybe it was the large glass of merlot with my bloody late (9pm) dinner and THEN the 2 oz of
corn liqour mixed cocktale ...
my point is
this blue period needs to stop
yes it is appropriate to sulk a little on the anniversary of the 12 mos
period of great change... the ides of March... but, i must, MUST <M U S T> focus again on yoga, prayer, excercise and
clear thinking
SO
Enough with the blue
Affirmations renew
In with the new
Out with the mood
Until my goals are
ARE
at hand and happening and happiness and hope is full as my cup is again
~33~
