Testimony of Mrs. Gilmore

The following is the testimony of my grandmother. If you would like to respond to it or have any questions please email me and I will direct them to her. God Bless. -David Gilmore

During the week of the 1984 World Conference I received a call from a friend who informed me of the presentation and approval of Section 156. We also discussed its contents. After the initial shock wore off, I began to feel physically ill. Maybe that was a foreboding of the impact that document would have on my life.

One day in early summer of 1985, I was busy with my household chores when an inner voice spoke to me and said, "You will soon be called to the priesthood." There were no emotions associated with the experience, no feelings of joy nor sadness. I was simply given this fact. I assumed, at the time, that the Lord was confirming to me that the call would be from Him. However, in later years I realized this hadbeenawarning, not aconfirmation. After receiving this message, I immediately knelt and begged God not to call me to the priesthood, and I promised to serve Him in any other way that I could.

About two weeks after this experience my pastor asked to meet with me. With a great deal of dread I met with him and I was told that I had been called to the office of priest. Feelings of apprehension and fear flooded over me, but the pastor assured me there would be plenty of support from the Church and enough time to prepare, since the first ordinations of women would not take place until November 17, 1985. This made mefeelsomewhat better; and desiring to be obedient to the Lord, I accepted the call.

Breaking the news to my family was very difficult. One by one, I spoke with them, beginning with my husband. Then my daughter, my son, my sisters, and other family members were told. From them I sensed mixed feelings of gladness, apprehension, sadness, but also total support. By this time the initial shock of Section 156 had worn off, but the actual calling of women was bringing us face to face with reality

No one in my family, including myself, seemed to know exactly how to react. From that time until the ordination in November, I was busy with the required Temple School classes and meeting with patriarchs and our apostle. During this time the seven women called from the Pensacola District were given much encouragement from the Church membership, as well as the leadership. They extended a gentle, almost protective concern for us. The humility of these women ordinands was evident at the district conference as each stood and accepted her call. Everyone in the conference body then knelt as a special prayer of blessing was given for these women by an evangelist.

In recent years I have had several people tell me that their concept of all women who would accept priesthood is that they would be the "brassy, pushy" kind. My concept is very different. With the exception of a very few, the women that I know in my area, who are in the priesthood, are humble, gentle women. Most of them, as I, did not seek a call but responded affirmatively because they wanted to serve God in whatever way He asked. Being deceived, I believed this was God's will for my service.

Sunday, November 17, 1985, had been set aside as the day of ordination throughout all the Church for the women who had been called. I spent the week prior to that day in fasting, prayer, and meditation in preparation for serving the Lord in this new and different way. But instead of feeling a oneness with God that week, which was what I sought, I felt a heavy, dark cloud envelop me daily. Some may say that I should have realized at that point something was very wrong. I did realize that, but I thought the fault lay with me—maybe I had not been diligent enough in my preparation, or maybe I wasn't committed enough, or "maybe" a hundred other things. Anyway, I was sure that I was the problem. Deception is a powerful tool of Satan, and being under this deceptive spirit, I placed no doubt on the revelation nor my call.

I made it through the week and on Sunday, at age fifty-one, I was ordained to the of fice of priest by my son, Priest Dale Gilmore, assisted by two other men. That day four ordination services were held throughout the district, with staggered times so that everyone could attend each one, which I did.

The week before, the local newspaper had requested interviews with the seven ordinands as a group, but I declined because I had such a bad feeling about participating. The reporter did call me at home and asked questions which I answered as tersely as I could without being rude. One question she asked was, "Why are you wanting to be an ordained minister in your Church?" I thought, "Lady, if you only knew how much I don't want to be one." The ordination service itself was covered by a Mobile, Alabama, television station and was aired on its nightly news show. I have heard that CNN carried clips of it on their news show also. I suppose it was newsworthy that this conservative little Church was finally "getting in step with the rest of the world."

So ended Sunday, the day of ordination! The next morning brought with it an inner conflict that would not be resolved for the next ten and one-half years. As I look back now,I am so I very thankful that my Heavenly Father l never let me become "comfortable" l with priesthood. Each time I prepared I a sermon or did any of the other "priestly" duties, something inside me would say, "This is wrong. You should not be doing this!" When this would l happen, I would go over my familiar I recitation, "God has spoken to the Prophet, the Conference has approved the revelation, I have been called by God and ordained under the hands of, His servants; therefore, I am supposed to be doing this." But, the recitation l would only help for a short while. I also told myself that I was having a hard time accepting this because, at my age, it was difficult to be involved in something that, until now, I had been l taught was not in accordance with God's will. So the conflict continued. I did not discuss my problems with anyone but the Lord. I believed He would help me work through them. In the final outcome this proved to be true, but certainly not in the way that I had expected!

In late 1984 a group of us, led by Seventy George Blais, had begun a mission north of Pensacola, near where I lived. There was a tremendous amount of work to be done as we l organized and developed into a very active congregation. It was a busy time for us all, and especially for me as I tried to fulfill my new priesthood, responsibilities. Soon my daughter, Sue Manning, was called to be a priest; my sister, Onelia Fredrickson, was called to be a deacon; and several years later, Onelia's daughter, Carmen Paroby, was called to be a priest. Other women of our congregation were also | called, but I have only named those of my family.

In mid-1988 I had a "dream." Actually, this was not a visual dream, for I saw nothing. I only heard a voice ask a question: "Did you know that l your call to be an elder is being processed?" It was asked so forcibly that I knew it was a message to me. I truly believe now that this was not just a "message," but another warning. Sure enough, in a few days the pastor told me that I was being called to be an elder. Shortly thereafter, a very chaotic situation arose in my congregation. Even though it had nothing to do with my call to elder, that, along with other items of business, was put on the "back burner" for quite some time. In January 1990 I was appointed pastor of the Cantonment Mission; and in November of that year, ordained an elder. This brought me face to face I with another problem—that of laying on of hands. I had never felt that I had I true authority to serve as a priest, and I certainly didn't feel that authority asI an elder. I avoided participating in the ordinance of laying on of hands as I much as possible; but as an elder and pastor, there were times when it was unavoidable. I even had a horror of participating in my own grandchildren's baptisms, and I cried many tears over that. I thought, "What kind of grandmother are you, anyway?" In hindsight, I am so thankful that my I participation in those services was limited to reading a poem or scripture. This "authority" thing constantly nagged at me; and, again, I thought I there was just something lacking within myself. I begged, "If I'm going to be an effective pastor and carry out the duties of an elder, Lord, then I need to know I have the authority from you."

I kept remembering a confirmation service in 1966 where six elders l walked out and took their places up front. As they did so, the Holy Spirit bore witness to me that these men had authority from God to serve in the priesthood. I was rather puzzled by l this because I had great respect for these men and would not have questioned their authority. My patriarchal blessing advises me to store up in my memory those experiences that have been fine and good—when I realized God's Spirit was with me. Then, in my hour of need, I could draw upon I these experiences and they would be a strength to me. The occasion of the confirmation to me of those men's, priesthood authority was one of those experiences upon which I drew. Simply l put, I knew there was a definite authority upon those who were properly called and ordained. I also knew that I I did not have this authority.

One thing that I would like to make clear is that at no time during all of my struggles did I feel that God's Spirit left me. In fact, He led me into several seemingly unrelated experiences. As I look back now, I see that they have fallen into place and have helped form the picture that finally caused me to see light and truth.

One such experience began with a strong urging to study the New Age Movement. I had heard the term "New Age" mentioned many times, but had never had the slightest desire to find out about it. To me, it was just another obscure, way-out group in which I had no interest. This urging became stronger and I continued to resist, until one day I went to the local Bible bookstore and asked the Lord to direct me to a book about the New Age. The book I felt drawn to and bought was Inside the New Age Nightmare by Randall N. Baer (published by Huntington House, Inc., copyright 1989). It was written by a former New Age leader and it was probably the best book I could have chosen that day. As I read I became very interested in the subject, and subsequently read a number of other books about the New Age.

But, why had I been urged to study I the New Age? Maybe, I thought, it was to warn my congregation about the evil intents of this movement. However, each time I had the opportunity to share this, the Spirit led me not to do so. Soon though, something else began to happen. I became more and more aware of New Age ideas and terminology being expressed in materials printed by the RLDS Church leaders, and in the Saints' Herald. From time to time there were news items of Church leaders participating in New Age-related activities. I was very surprised to read in the August 1991 Saints' Herald that the New Age Movement had fewer than 28,000 members. This certainly didn't jive with what experts, including former New Agers, have written. I chose to believe that our Church leaders were just uninformed of the true intent of that movement. It was too painful then to think that my Church could be supportive l of such a diabolical organization.

From about 1985 to 1995 I attended numerous workshops in my area, mostly taught by Church leadership from Independence. I usually chose classes on Church history and the Book of Mormon. Those classes were real eye-openers to the new ideas that had permeated the Church. Could they possibly be right? Could those things that I had been taught by my mother and many other good Saints be in error? Confusion set in and I began praying that God would not allow anyone to come to me who needed a witness of Jesus and His Church. What I would tell them would not be in harmony with what they would hear from Church leadership and read in Church-published materials. But, as had become my habit, I tucked these discordant things away in a corner of my mind.

In late 1995 I received a complimentary copy of vision magazine. I read some of it, but because many of the things I read disturbed me, I tucked it away in a drawer. (I did a lot of "tucking away," hoping that the axiom "Out of sight, out of mind" was true.) However, I could not get rid of the constant awareness that the Church was rapidly sliding off its solid-rock foundation onto shifting sand. Having lived near the sandy beaches of the Gulf of Mexico all of my life, I know what happens to those buildings constructed upon sand when the fierce storms come. I firmly believe that the true Church of Jesus Christ, with the fullness of the gospel, will remain on that solid rock of revelation with Jesus Christ as the chief cornerstone. Man may draw up his blueprints and rebuild, but that organization will have a weak and shallow foundation.

Gradually, I faced up to the realization that a number of years ago Church leadership had drawn up new blueprints and were diligently building their new organization. One of the first steps, of course, had been to remove from the children's curriculum an emphasis on the Scriptures and Church history. This made it possible to raise a generation of young people whose hands were not stayed on the Rod of Iron, and who would not question any changes brought forth by Church leadership. How cunning is Satan as he works through the weakness of man!

Jesus said, "Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth" (John 16: 13). For a long time a part of my prayers was, "Lord, please guide me into all truth." But truth is often painful and I avoided it for a long time. I was astounded that the Church began supporting the gay and lesbian organizations. I have always believed that one of the most important functions of the Church is to bring people into the right relationship with Christ. This is a manifestation of true Christian love for the soul, rather than encouraging them in a sinful and destructive lifestyle.

But the final straw came, for me, with the advocation of open Communion. This, I knew, was in direct violation of Jesus' own teachings in 3 Nephi 8. Open Communion is wrong and I felt it would lead to other violations of God's laws, such as acceptance of infant baptism, which is soundly condemned in the Book of Mormon.

Throughout all of this time, other members of my family were searching for answers. My son, Dale, an elder in the RLDS Church, procured much material, both from Herald House and other sources, to determine how and why these changes were taking place. He shared his material and his thoughts with me and other members of our family. My daughter, Sue, was actually the first one of us to reject her priesthood, because she had never felt that she, herself, had a true calling. She had sought counsel and had been assured by several well-respected priesthood men that her call was from God, so she had let herself be swept into it. But that inner struggle became stronger until she could no longer accept her priesthood as being valid. My sisters and nieces were also questioning the new direction the Church leaders had taken. I had requested, in 1994 and in 1995, to be relieved of my responsibilities as pastor, but was asked to continue a while longer, to which I agreed. After serving as pastor for six years, I was relieved of that position in January 1996.

Since 1982 I have had a job with the Social Security Office of Hearings and Appeals as a hearing reporter. Suddenly, all of my scheduled work for February and most of my work for March 1996 was cancelled, which was very unusual. Since I had no pressing chores around my house then, I was left with a lot of extra time on my hands. It was strongly impressed upon me to stop sticking my head in the sand, but to search for truth and be ready to accept it. Prayer and study of the Scriptures became my mainstay. While in Independence for World Conference of 1992, I had bought the book, The Saints at the Crossroads, by Richard Price. After skimming over the book, I had put it aside because it was too upsetting to me. My fears were that it was all true. Now, after determining to face the truth, I reread the book thoroughly. It answered a question that was really bothering me. Why? There had to be a reason why such elaborate plans had been laid and were being implemented by the RLDS Church leaders. As I understood the reasoning behind what was happening and why, the changes appeared even more ungodly.

I decided to go to the "horse's mouth" to get to the complete truth; so I obtained a number of books published by Herald House in which some of the Church leaders freely admit to the course of action the Church leaders have taken. Some of these books are Restoration Studies I through V and Let Contention Cease (edited by Roger D. Launius and W. B. "Pat" Spillman, copyright 1991, Graceland/Park Press, Herald Publishing House). The Graceland College Theology Colloquy books, such as From Tradition to Task, Authority, Membership, and Baptism, and Revisioning the Church, indicated to me the direction that the Church leaders have taken in order to become more attractive to the world. It seems they have missed the point completely--the Church has been charged to present Jesus Christ and His gospel to the world in order for the world to be conformed to Him.

In my search I also obtained the Position Papers and the Presidential Papers and read those. Every day and much of each night for two months I read all this material, studied the Scriptures, and prayed. In the Word I found comfort, strength, and counsel. Some of the Scriptures that spoke to me were: "As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him; rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have been taught.... Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ" (Colossians 2:6-8).

"All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. For evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them" (2 Timothy 3:12-14).

"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house.... For he that biddeth him God-speed is partaker of his evil deeds" (2 John 9-11).

Since I have never been one to give of myself to any cause in which I did not fully believe, with a heavy heart and many tears I made a decision to disassociate myself from the Church leaders who had chosen a path on which I could no longer walk and still remain faithful to Jesus Christ. With the decision made, I began my preparations. Two things had been impressed upon me from the beginning: ( 1 ) not to voluntarily withdraw my name from Church membership rolls, and (2) not to join any of the little groups which had pulled away and started their own churches.There was, however, one nagging bit of business that I must take care of. What about my priesthood? In my mind I felt very confident that it was highly unlikely that God would have issued this call to women at the exact time that fit in with the plans of those liberal men and women who were striving to conform the Church to the world's acceptance. In fact, I believed so strongly that women in the priesthood was a false doctrine that, at the beginning of April 1996, I laid my priesthood card on my desk, got on my knees and begged God's forgiveness for my participation in the profanation of His holy priesthood. Knowing God's promises to us when we are repentant, I expected His forgiveness. What I did not expect was the intense power of the Holy Spirit as He filled my mind, heart, and body. Not only did I feel forgiven, but the Spirit impressed upon me that I had great worth, as a woman, in the sight of God. On April 28, 1996,1 wrote a short note to the First Presidency stating that I could no longer support the new theology and programs of the Church. My priesthood card was enclosed in the letter.

But I continued to pray for a more complete testimony—something in God's Word that I could point to and share with others. Around the first of April 1996,1 began telling members of my family of my decision. I was especially reluctant to tell my husband, Alton. He was not a member of any church but had attended with me, and for over thirty years I had prayed that he would commit his life to Jesus Christ and join His Church. I wondered if my actions would destroy any chance that he would ever do this. He was visibly shaken when I told him and suggested that I talk with two men that we had always loved and respected. My reply was that there was no need—either these men did not recognize what was happening in the Church, or they supported it. Either way, they would not be able to help me. My only source of comfort and counsel would have to come from the Lord Himself. I relied on Him for the next few weeks as I never had before.

My last day of attendance at my congregation would be the last Sunday of April 1996. I began making my spiritual and emotional preparations. For days I thought of many dear brothers and sisters in my area with whom I had worked in the Church for many years. I seemed to know just how each one would react when he, or she, heard what I was doing. I knew that some would be sad and disappointed in me, while others would be angry or even indifferent. I also knew which ones would understand and still be my friends. In the past three years I have not had a single surprise—each reaction has been as I thought it would be.

I went through one day of raw grief at the thought of leaving my congregation. They were my friends and my family. I even told the Lord that I didn't think I could go through with leaving. Later in the day I prayed, "Lord, if you will get this grief out of me before my final day, then I think I can do it." From that moment on I have never experienced any more of those sorrowful feelings. Instead, greatpeace permeated my whole being. I truly experienced, and continue to experience, that peace that passes all understanding.

One day, however, something shocking came to my mind, "What would Mama think of what I am doing?" My mother, who died in 1965, had loved the Lord, His gospel, and His Church with all her heart. She had remained faithful even through years of isolation, due to distance from the Church. Her hopes and her prayers had always been that her children and grandchildren would embrace the gospel and serve the Lord. She taught her children about the Restored Gospel and, interestingly enough, one of the things I remember her emphasizing to me was that men, not women, were to serve in the priesthood. Immediately after wondering what my mother's reaction would be to my leaving the institutional part of the RLDS Church, I remembered her written testimony. Under the circumstances, I believed she would have made the same decision that I had made.

After that was resolved in my mind, I was hit with the biggest obstacle of all. I had discussed my decision with my husband, my children, and other close family members; but as far as I knew, my four grandchildren, ages eleven to sixteen, had not been told. Suddenly this question loomed before me, "What kind of testimony will this be to my grandchildren?" I wrestled with that question all one day. We are a very close-knit family and we each try to set a good example for the children. Would they think Grandma was turning her back on God and/or the Church? I finally told the Lord that because of my grandchildren I could not go through with my plans. I went to sleep that night with a heavy burden on my heart. How could I leave, and yet how could I stay? Even before I opened my eyes the next morning, I began thinking of this, but I realized that I felt free and the burden had been lifted. As I sang through my chores that day, I kept thanking God that He had removed this worry from me. "But," I told Him, "I still wonder what kind of testimony this will be to my grandchildren." Immediately the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "It will be a testimony of faith." Needless to say, I was on a spiritual high for days because of that experience.

All of the preparation that the Lord had helped me make was very thorough. On the last day that I attended the Cantonment Mission, I felt no deep sorrow. I felt very peaceful, although sad for what had happened to the Church and the many good people who were being deceived.

The Pensacola Restoration Group began meeting the first Sunday of May 1996 in my home. Present were my sister, Marguerite Medley, my husband, and myself. Right away I felt spiritually "home again" and no longer felt fragmented as I had for over ten years. The three of us met each Sunday. We had prayer and Scripture study for about six months. Then we were put in touch with Elder Ammon Calhoun and his wife, Delpha. Even though they live only about twenty miles away, I had never known them well. As we spoke on the telephone, Brother Calhoun said that he and his wife had never gone along with the changes in the Church. I knew they were the answer to our little group's prayers. They came to my home the next Sunday and we had a Sacrament service.

Thank God for faithful people like the Calhouns! He serves as our pastor and leads the adult study class, while Sister Delpha brings her keyboard and shares her gift of music with us. In 1997 my son, Dale, who serves as an elder in our group; my daughter, Sue; my sister, Onelia; her daughter, Carmen; and my four grandchildren, joined our group. Like me, they had to make their own decisions and preparations for such an important step in their lives. Now there are four women within our group who have rejected their priesthood.

For about two years after I stopped attending the Institutional RLDS Church, I had to go through some inner healing. Even though I felt God's forgiveness and experienced constant peace and a great measure of joy, I still needed to work through some feelings within myself. I had to work through anger, which was aimed primarily at myself, for allowing myself to be deceived. I had been admonished in my patriarchal blessing to study continuously so that God could reveal His truths to me. This I had done for some years, but I began to forsake my study in 1980 when I really needed it most. Jesus said that those who treasure up His words will not be deceived. What a price we pay for allowing ourselves to be deceived! After my anger came guilt for having been involved in something that had surely caused my Heavenly Father grief; and had also brought much pain to so many good people who had stood for truth from the beginning.

For a period of time I felt I had to "confess" my part in all this to each person I talked with in the Restoration Movement. This was not done boastingly, because I felt shame, not pride. Somehow, I thought I was being less than honest if I did not confess. As I look back, I think I needed their acceptance and love in spite of what I had done. A great deal of my healing came in 1997 when my sister and I attended the Buckner Restoration Branch Reunion held at Excelsior Springs, Missouri. I will always be appreciative to those at the reunion who gave me a smile, a hug, or word of encouragement. I was able to speak, though tearfully, to a small group of Saints about the turmoil I had experienced.

After the "guilt" phase, there came a period of time when I did not want to think or talk about any of those events in my life. That is one reason why it has taken me so long to write this testimony, even after receiving several requests for it. But God has a wonderful way of healing our hearts and minds. I still have regrets, but no longer have an overwhelming sense of shame, and I can talk about the whole experience without crying. As a participant in the wrong that the Church leaders have done, I offer a sincere apology to all the faithful Saints who were so painfully hurt.

There are many people who havegiven me, and our entire Restoration group, a lot of ministry and encouragement. Just before I left my RLDS congregation, I called Price Publishing Company's Restoration Bookstore. Pamela Price answered and I introduced myself and told her my story. I told her that I desperately needed the name of a Restoration patriarch. She directed me to Brother Bill Davies of Oak Grove, Missouri, who gave me counsel and encouragement over the telephone and through letters. Even now he continues to be a strength for me. In early March 1999, Brother Davies and Ray McFarland spent several days in our home. Their presence and ministry was uplifting to us all. Brother Davies was kept quite busy as he gave six blessings that weekend.

Numerous other times I have called the Restoration Bookstore and have spoken with Pamela, Sharon Warner, or Fay Villers, who have all been inspirational to me. Brother Ray McFarland has visited with our group on two other occasions, along with Brother Dale Volskay. They were accompanied on one trip by Brother E1vin Kettlewell. Sister Thelma Kester, whom I met at the Buckner Reunion, has been a good and caring friend. A number of Saints from other Restoration groups in our region have also visited with us from time to time. We appreciate all of these people who have been mindful of our needs and made themselves available to us.

Since I cannot go back to 1984 and remake my decisions, I must learn from those wrong decisions that I did make. I have learned not to put my complete trust in any person, whether his title is "prophet," "president," or any other. My trust must first and foremost remain in Jesus Christ. I have learned to reject any "revelation" that is not in agreement with the Scriptures, for God will not go against His own Word. I know now how important it is to study God's Word constantly. It is our "Rod of Iron" to which we must tightly cling, or else risk being drawn into the "mist of darkness" and onto "strange roads." I have learned, too, that even after we have wandered, God stands ready to plant our feet firmly back on that straight and narrow path. I have learned that whatever God bids us do that He affords us the faith and courage to do it. I marvel daily at how the Lord was able to bring my family and me back into truth and light. I know, too, that even though truth can be painful to face, that it can also set us free.

Back in the early 1980s a young elder called me one day and asked to drop by my house on his way home from work. It seemed the Lord had given him a message concerning me. I was excited all day, but when the elder came by I was somewhat disappointed at the message. He said the Spirit had told him, "She shall yet find joy in the gospel." At that time things were going well in my family and at church, and I thought I was already joyful. Little did I know that in just a few years I would lose most of that joy for a long time. I rejoice now, however, that the Lord has not only replaced that joy but has added to it immeasurably. My husband committed his life to the Lord through baptism in August 1997, and this has been a blessing to our family and to our group. Another great blessing I enjoy each Sunday is the privilege of teaching the Scriptures to my four grandchildren, David Gilmore, 18; Dana Gilmore, 15; Joanna Guedez, 16; and Jessica Guedez, 14. God has added such wonderful things to my life that I will never be able to thank Him enough.

One more testimony must be related before I end. For a long time, as I have already stated, I sought from the Lord a very definite answerconcerning women in the priesthood. I believed in my mind that it was not God's will, but I kept praying to know it in a spiritual way. Many times I had read 1 Corinthians 14:3~35,but Ialways seemed to concentrate on the word "silence." I didn't think that could be taken literally, or women could not even be allowed to teach children in the Church. One glorious day, a couple of years ago, while reading that passage again, the word "rule" came to my attention. That was it! In black and white, there it was in the Bible. Women are not to "rule," which is a priesthood function. This was impressed on my heart, not just in my mind. Since then, I have read several times that Joseph Smith was directed by God to change the word "speak" (KJV) to the word "rule" (IV). It must have great importance for God to change that one little word.

Too, I had often wondered why Paul had put verses 37 and 38 in there. Now, in light of what has happened in our day, it makes much more sense. Paul said the things he wrote were a commandment from God, and a spiritual person would know that. But those who chose not to believe these things would remain ignorant. Right after Section 156 came out, part of the propaganda was that Paul was akin to a male chauvinist and, therefore, was unfairly biased against women. To me, the ignorant are those who chose to believe that, rather than the truth that Paul taught as a commandment from God. It is no wonder that the RLDS Church leaders now choose to use many other versions of the Bible, and downplay the Book of Mormon—for both that book and the Inspired Version of the Bible condemn many of their present-day practices and beliefs.

My patriarchal blessing, which I received many years ago, tells me that if I were obedient and faithful that the time would come when God would allow me to commit myself fully and wholly to the things that I know to be right, and which reflect the gospel of Jesus Christ. Several times over the years, I asked the Lord if this was that time of which He spoke. Each time the Spirit would let me know that it was not. When I was ordained I thought, "Surely this is that time." But it was not, as the Spirit let me know, and I was truly bewildered. A short while after coming out of the Institutional Church, I read my blessing again. When I came to that passage, the Spirit let me know (even before I asked) that now is the time. I praise God for giving me and my family another chance to walk in light and serve Him in truth.

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