Chicken Abductions: a Fowl Tail


               Recent Alien Abductions in Lexington Kentucky

By Patrick B.

June 26 2008


     Tales of this sort have been told since ancient times.   Although astonishingly similar in many respects, until recently neither the stories nor those who told them were taken seriously.  In fact, even when identical accounts were related by individuals who were together at the time in question, they were seen as being feather-brained or even trying to exploit their narratives in order to build up a nest egg.

     Almost all of them begin with a chicken in its coop, sleeping soundly on its perch.  Suddenly, it sees a bright light, and an enormous featherless, beakless biped seizes it and puts it into some sort of indescribable vehicle or vessel, which follows the biped into a strange place full of never-before-seen gadgets.  The freakish biped then performs unspeakable medical procedures on the helpless bird (or birds, in many cases more than one bird is taken and they are able to corroborate each otherís experiences).  Following this, the creature replaces the hapless fowl into the vehicle, and transports it back to its coop, where it is placed back on its perch while its flock mates sleep obliviously on.  Finally, to the poor birdís immeasurable relief, the alien, along with its accompanying vehicle and strange, bright light disappear as swiftly and inexplicably as they appeared.

     Many times the shock of the experience causes the victims to temporarily forget what had happened to them, although they usually experience, for a long time afterward, frequent disturbing and disorienting nightmares based on the alleged occurrence.  Some of them, however, unable to face the implications of their ordeals, put the whole event down to nightmares born from eating too much scratch feed before roosting time.  In an attempt to establish credibility with their incredulous neighbors and loved ones, the returned abductees can often point to such things as an odd dust covering their bodies, shortened beaks and toenails, feet and legs coated with an unknown greasy substance, and even strange unremovable bands or bracelets with mysterious, untranslatable symbols attached to a leg or even a wing.  Some victims even claim to have been visited, shortly after their abductions, by mysterious black roosters who threatened to harm them or other members of their flock if they did not keep what had happened to them an absolute secret.

     Some who shared their experiences with others subsequently flew the coop under suspicious circumstances, never to be seen again.  Their flock mates, of course, suspected fowl play.  Others became quite flighty, even to the point of insanity.  But from the physical point of view, most returned abductees experienced improved comfort and physical health, many reporting that they had never felt so healthy in their lives!  Despite very understandable concerns stemming from their exposure to unknown substances, few hens claim to have noticed abnormalities in their subsequent hatchlings, despite their understandable fears of their eggs having been permanently addled.

     Is there a factual basis to these ongoing and persistent accounts, told in many different places and times by members of some of the most prestigious and well-respected flocks in the world?  If so, why are these strange beings, evidently of extraterrestrial origin, continuing to carry out their nefarious abductions and what might they be doing with the data and tissue samples that they are collecting?  The world may never know!


Please note: tonight I caught my adult bantams (itís much easier to do it while they are asleep), trimmed their beaks and toenails, banded them, dusted them for mites and other external parasites, and oiled their feet and legs as a precaution against scaly leg mites, then placed them back in their cages.  What the chickens thought of these procedures can only be imagined.  J



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last modified 12/22/2009