Somehow I deluded myself into thinking that Stephen Sommers would be a smart and consistent filmmaker. Since his original was lighthearted and exciting, he could easily do it again. But apparently, I’ve given credit too precipitously. THE MUMMY RETURNS is a classic example of why sequels fail, despite the 300 million or so in ticket sales. Very simply, they never learn from the mistakes of the past. And whether its character clichés done to extreme or the bigger and consequently dumber action sequences, they all add up to an incongruous mess here. The tension between Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz propelled the first movie nicely. But in sequels, filmmakers either give us some lame excuse to recreate the tension again, or they go too far in the other extreme. Here it’s the latter, with Fraser and Weisz behaving beyond sappily. Merely bringing back likeable characters isn’t enough, especially when they’re given no substance. Mistake number two, cheesy dialogue that includes too many references to the first. Please Stephen, the original only came out two years ago, so give us a little credit.

      Mistake number three, and worst of all, the special effects. In truth, the mummy shots in this one were better, but other effects were pure crap. The first MUMMY wasn’t perfect in this department either, but this was like shitting on a canvas. The Scorpion King is the worst effect I’ve seen since SMALL WONDER (anyone remember that show?). Like bad comic book art, the goal now seems to be how much of the screen can we possibly fill with CG. Sadly, effects of this nature are becoming more of a major step back than forward. They have no style or atmosphere and are synonymous with the belief that bigger is better. This is not a record versus CD debate either, where someone wants to stick with what’s past. But honestly, I can name 10 movies twenty years ago that had better effects than this, and without the aid of computers. Ultimately, in the hands of bad filmmakers, CG is like a drug. But when you put some real imagination into it, CG can be brilliant. Case in point, PEARL HARBOR. But this was a hack job, utterly and completely.