It saddens me to say, but LORD OF THE RINGS has garnered yet another failed screen attempt. (Now before you jump all over me, at least hear me out.) Given their approach, these seemed like the right people to do it. One film for each book, spread apart over one year to build on the excitement, how could they go wrong? Good actors, good production design, the right locale, great special effects (well, sometimes) and the earnestness and zeal to make it all happen. What was it then? To a lesser extent, it was the director, Peter Jackson. To the greatest extent was a bad, bad, bad script!
Changes are good, changes are sometimes mandatory, but FELLOWSHIP unfortunately redefines the term. Hey, ten changes are not bad, even twenty. A hundred is no big deal, but this film’s numbered in the thousands, maybe more. No, that’s not an exaggeration! Again, the problem was screenplay. There were so many alterations made that, along with unnecessary additions, they gutted the very heart of the story. And I don’t mean Arwen either, I’m talking about Elrond, for example, being in the original battle. “Hello, McFly!” Nobody knows that the ring will keep Sauron alive, hence why they’re not prepared for it. My God, if Elrond were so holier than thou, he would’ve just killed Isildur and destroyed it himself. But when screenwriters are allowed to take these liberties, they wind up creating flaws. The Balrog was just floating around Moria, huh? Okay, then he must have been a real nuisance for Balin and the other Dwarves. But they don’t address this because, why, it’s now a plot hole. Duh! In the book, the Orcs brought the Balrog with them, but why change this? It wasn’t necessary and would’ve required less screen time. Again, folks, changes are good if they have a purpose, but these didn’t.
Obviously, debating every single revision would be fruitless, because it would take too long and I don’t have the patience. Besides, no one expects screenwriters to be literal; however, I have no tolerance for changes made just for the hell of it. It’s altogether pretentious, because frankly, they think they know more than the author. Ultimately, it’s not a question of cutting too much, it’s about telling the story right. The Ringwraiths, for example, are pitiful! These creatures are stealthy and scary, and none of that is realized in the film. That Frodo could turn his head and these unearthly black figures wouldn’t be far off, skulking, is far more imposing and effective. Instead, as loud as they are here, crashing through gates, you could hear them coming a mile away. What’s creepy about that? And Gollum? After he’s seen clear as day in Moria (another screw up), he’s never mentioned again. He followed them into Lothlorien and beyond, but the movie never shows this. Come on, all you needed was a quick establishing shot that he was close behind, so don’t give me that time constraint crap. With Frodo and Sam walking away (in the finale), I thought for sure that this would be it. Some hint of Gollum just before the fade out. There wasn’t! You know why, because that would’ve required style and creativity, something this director is extraordinarily lacking in. And it’s not stylish because I thought of it. It’s stylish because J.R.R. Tolkien did, and if they’d simply followed his work, instead working in their own pompous changes to make themselves feel important, they’d have realized this too.
The unmitigated failure of this picture can be summed up in one scene. As Gandalf reads from the book in Moria, Pippen touches the body of a dead soldier. The head then falls down a well, followed by the body, the sword, then a huge chain attached to the body and the bucket (that’s what it looked like) the chain was wrapped around, causing an enormous crash. Sigh! In the novel, Pippen takes a stone the size of a pea and drops it in. Do you see my point? Everything in this movie is so utterly overblown and inflated that it loses appeal. There’s simply no appreciation for subtlety or suspense. Bigger is not better, but Peter Jackson apparently hasn’t clue about that.
The happiest person in the world right now is probably Ralph Bakshi, director of the first LOTR attempt, only in animated form. While his version failed too, some things were better. Bakshi’s Moria sequence is much closer to the book and a hundred times more entertaining. But whenever it strayed, his version sucked as well. In fact, a few scenes in Jackson’s version completely rip off Bakshi. For example, the first appearance of the Dark Rider is shot for shot the same. The hobbits (all four) are even hiding under tree roots. If you’ve read FELLOWSHIP, you’ll know how that’s three changes or more already. Again, why?
After another largely weak year in films (man, I get tired of having to say that), major critics offered up their obedient praises and accolades. Yeah, right. They obviously haven’t read the books in a while, if ever. Yes, folks, critics do lie. But unlike some films, this one has two more chances to get it right. However, I doubt it. The other two have already been filmed, so they can’t learn anything. The changes in the next two, I’m sure, are just as drastic and foolhardy as this. Some fans aren’t being critical though, or questioning the changes in the least, which honestly baffles me. Maybe after waiting so long and enduring other failures, just to have something of Tolkien’s world on screen is acceptable enough. For now, the hype and acceptance is grand, but it won’t last. Sadly, the more you think about it, the more questions you’ll have and the more flaws you’ll find.
While some of you may think that I just write films off without effort, it’s not true. I wanted LORD OF THE RINGS to be as fantastic as the next person. But I’ve thought about it and thought about it, and it just wasn’t. For every one aspect that’s done right, like Boromir’s death, there’s twenty or more that are completely wrong.
