The following was in response to a strip near the end of the "Lena The Horrible" story arc in which Lena Egg and Drucilla have a heart to heart talk about what it takes to be a Succubus. Lena stated that her mom wanted her to be a girl scout, but she thought Dru's uniform was better. It was then that Dru told Lena that it was not a uniform, so much as "Plummage". Lena's reply, "You're NAKERS! Where do I sign up?!"

Enjoy. This is the extended version of the first posting.

 

Customer: I wish to register a complaint! I wish to complain about this Succubus that I purchased, not half an hour ago, from this very boutique!

Clerk: Oh, yeah? The Norwegian Succubus? What's wrong with her?

Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with her. She's nakers. That's what's wrong with her.

Clerk: She's not nakers. She's just wearing her summer colors. Remarkable demon, the Norwegian Succubus, beautiful plummage.

Customer: The plummage don't enter into it. She's stark naked. I took the liberty of examining this Succubus and the only reason she appeared clothed when I bought her, was that she was in disguise.

Clerk: Well... She probably pining for the lava fields of Norway.

Customer: 'Pining for the lava fields of Norway'? What kind of talk is that? And why did she try to bite me on the neck the moment I got her home?

Clerk: The Norwegian Succubus prefers biting people on the neck. Remarkable demon, beautiful plummage!

Customer: It's not 'plummage', she's NAKERS! This Succubus is unclothed. A wardrobe she has not. She is clothing optional. If I hadn't given her my trenchcoat to wear back here, we might well have been arrested. She has gone far beyond the right to bare arms. She is not even clad in the purest shimmering samite that you might find on some, Lady of the Lake, lobbing scimitars. This is a NUDE Succubus!

Clerk: All right! I'll grant you that she is undressed, but please tell me... What exactly is your complaint?

Customer: Ah...! Well... um... Her 'plummage' doesn't go with my decor.

Robert Thimble was a well educated man. The people who knew him always called him the “Prof”. He was also a literalist. He took people at their words. His wife, Clair, did her best to keep him from being confused.

Clair: “I need you to go down to the Green Grocer and buy some fresh herbs and spices. Here’s a list of what I need. It’s a short list, it shouldn’t take you too long to get what we need. Then go to the music store and buy some sheet music for our daughter to practice with. Get something classical, like Brahms, Bach or Beethoven.”

Prof: “Yes, Dear. Do you want me to pick up some bread as well?”

Clair: “No, Bob. I just kneaded some dough.”

Prof: “How much did you need?” Reaches for his wallet.

Clair: “Not money, Bob. Bread dough. After I kneaded it, I have to let it raise again before I bake it. You better get going. It’s getting late, but maybe you can pick up some thyme while you are at the Green Grocer.”

Prof: “Pick up time at the Green Grocer. Yes, Dear.” Kisses his wife’s cheek and goes out the door of their appartment. The Green Grocer is just one block away. Soon, he is waiting for the gorcer to finish with another customer.

Grocer: “Yes, Prof. What will it be today?”

Prof: “Hello, Nick. I have a list from my wife.”

Grocer: “Let’s see. This won’t take long.” Nick gathers the herbs and spices on the list. “Will there be anything else?” He asks.

Prof: “My Wife said something about time.”

Grocer: “I’m sorry Prof, but we’re all out of thyme.”

Prof: “You don’t have any time?”

Grocer: “That’s right. We have no thyme left. We may have some thyme tomorrow.”

Prof: “You have no time today, but you’ll have sometime tomorrow?”

Grocer: “I can almost guarantee that we will have some thyme tomorrow.”

Prof: “ ‘Almost guarantee’? Well, Nick, I need to go to the music store.”

Grocer: “Goodbye Prof. Come back anytime.”

Due to popular demand, I have added a new Detective Joe Minotaur story. While the Pibgorn story arc "Lena the Horrible" has ended(Just ask Brooke), there is plenty of confusion in the new arc "Pibgorn and the Volcano at 77th and Park Ave".

As events develope, I may add new stories. Stay tooned!

My name is Minotaur, Joe Minotaur. I’m a cop. I walk the Comic Strip beat looking for crimes against toons and their creators. Most cops carry a gun, I carry a net, a Dryadnet.

(DUM-M, DA DUM-DUM)

This is the city. It could be any city, but it wasn’t. It is the city. You know it, I know it. ‘Nuff said, okay?

The missing persons’ case was closing and the final report has been handed in to Capt. Tom Reaper. An imposing man, but I don’t fear him.  Even though the case was wrapped up, Sgt. Cliff Hanger and I were in my office taking stock of the facts to see if there was anything of interest that was missing from the report.

“Let’s start with the Fairy, the Succubus, and the church organist.” I say. “They seem to share some kind of bond. They’ve seen highs and lows in their relationships and have been through some tough times of major depression. This has caused them to pull back and re-assess their prospective futures together. The Egg children were caught up in the game and traded their old lives for new roles. Don’t sell them short. Their past is nothing to go by. We can only speculate as to how they will perform. The Incubus, not only was a demon, he was morally bankrupt as well. Spitcock tried to monopolize his victims in a scheme that backfired on account that Drucilla was able to turn things around and recover not only her principals, but Spitcock’s holdings as well. This left him to call in an arbitrator, who, in the end, could not keep him from being swallowed up by a much larger entity. Normally, such a demon could be considered a ‘Toxic Asset’, but he was absorbed with little to show for it. The giant fly, Luciano, downsized to a more manageable level and is looking forward to resuming normal production. The children are back home, but the main characters have split up. At this point, their plans are none of our business. If things come crashing down around us, we may have to become involved again, but unless there is a major eruption, we can consider this case closed.”

(DUM-M, DA DUM-DUM. DUM-M, DA DUM-DUM DAH-H-H)

Ladies and Gents! Thank-you for following the adventures of Detective Joe Minotaur, Sgt. Cliff Hanger, Dianne Hunter, Jessica Darling, and the remaining cast. The current story arc of the Pibgorn online comic has reached the point where it is no longer necessary for Joe to continue his investigation into the mass disappearances of its main characters and the Egg children. The characters I created for these stories will be added to a story I am writing, that I hope to publish some day.

I will continue to post at the Pibgorn comments site and any material that I post may find a home here. I was hoping that, in the course of writing these stories, that the readers would enjoy them and from the responses I got, that wish has been fulfilled.

These stories are free, but are copyrighted. They are not to be published as a collection or individually to any other blog or web site without permission. The attachment of individual stories into emails is allowed, but please include the URL so the person receiving it can explore the blog for themselves.

If you feel compelled to offer a donation or gratuity, please give it to the charity or oganization of your choice.

 

The opinions expressed within this blog are solely the responsibility of the author and are not meant to portray actual events. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, or undead, or unliving, or uncaring, or unadulterated, or unassuming, or unfortunate enough to be included here has my sympathy but not my house, my car, my motorcycle, or my bank account. Instead, if they want, they can have my bills, my credit card debt, my house payment, medical bills, taxes due and any liens that are assesed against me by a quart of Jack Daniels.