| James N. Markels | ||||
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Writer, philosopher, musician... Personal
Information Constitutionalist
Party Political/Policy
Writing Creative
Writing Resume
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My latest op-ed: March 21, 2005 Right
to Die? by
James N. Markels “If
I ever get like that, I don’t want to be kept alive.
I want you to pull the plug.” My mother has told me that on more than one occasion,
and by “like that” she was referring to the vegetative state much
like that which Terri Schiavo—the brain-damaged Florida woman at the
center of a legal brawl over whether she should be allowed to die, as
her husband says she would have wanted, or whether she should be kept
alive as her parents desire—currently suffers.
Actually, my mother was being a bit more expansive
than that. The last few
months she has been taking care of an old friend, Charlie, who is
suffering from what seems to be an advanced state of Alzheimer’s.
When she came to his aid he was badly malnourished, unable to
take care of himself, and living in a decrepit house brimming with trash
and old newspapers. Now he
totters about in a nursing home, diapered, happy but unaware of much,
and certainly not able to remember what happened yesterday or even
fifteen minutes ago. “Like
that” includes Charlie’s condition.
My mother, who is as active now as a senior as she
has ever been, does not want to live as an invalid, helpless or
brain-dead. She wants to
die with her dignity, with people remembering her as she has been her
whole life—vibrant, adventuresome, witty and brilliant—rather than
as an empty shell that lies in bed or stares vacantly at television
static. “Okay, Mom,” I replied to her, but I knew that
assuring her that her wish will be followed is a much different thing
from actually following through. This
is the last responsibility I’d want to have, because I know that if
this terrible event ever came to pass, I’d flinch.
I’d look at her in the hospice bed, dead but for the machines
that keep her going, or I’d look into her eyes that don’t even
remember that I am her son, and I’d think, “She could get better.
There’s always a chance. A
year from now and she could be healthy as a mule, back to being herself.
It can happen. We just have to wait.” Can you blame me?
In my eyes she’ll always be Mom, even when there’s nothing
left of her. She could be
dead to the world yet I would still hold her hand, read to her, talk to
her, and feel like she’s listening.
Somehow, she’ll hear me, she’ll know I’m there.
Somehow, she’ll get better.
I’ll believe this. I’ll
believe this because I won’t want to let her go. This is why I can’t get mad at Terri’s parents
for fighting to keep her alive. They
believe about Terri what I’d believe about my Mom. But the issue isn’t about what we believe.
It’s about what Terri and my Mom want.
Not wanting to let a loved one go is perfectly natural and
logical, but it assumes a choice that is not ours to make. I’m not sure if my Mom has a living will to
establish her wishes, but Terri certainly didn’t. And it’s that lack of a living will that has caused all the
trouble. The medical
prognosis has been clear from the outset, or at least as clear as modern
medicine will allow. Nobody
is arguing that it would be wrong for Terri to be allowed to die if her
living will asked for it in this circumstance.
If my Mom tomorrow ended up in Terri’s state, I may
only have my word that she wished to be allowed to die, just like
Terri’s husband claims she told him the same thing.
And I can only imagine how heart-wrenching it would be to know
what my Mom wanted but to have people fighting to deny her that one last
wish. That is why I
ultimately find myself siding with Terri’s husband.
If Terri really did not want to live on life support, as my
mother has chosen, then the husband has done the right thing in fighting
for her wishes. Florida law does not make it easy to pull the plug on someone
absent a living will—nor should it—but Terri’s husband has
satisfied all of the courts that this case has been dumped into.
He has made her case. And indeed, nobody is challenging the laws that
govern this situation. People
still generally agree that the spouse should be the guardian with the
primary authority to make these decisions, and that the other
requirements that Terri’s husband met are sound.
Even Congress’ recent act to try and move Terri’s case to
federal court (for what has always been a state issue) is intended to be
a one-time thing. So why
has it come to this? Because we don’t want to let go.
I won’t want to let go, either, but I’ll have to.
It’s what my Mom wants. Published in: Brainwash |
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