Denise's Knitting Pages
Snooty Comebacks!
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UFOs and Future Projects
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Snooty Comebacks!
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Tiny Tots Tank Top

Why can't you knit that for ME?  Socks are cheaper at Wal-Mart!  Only poor people knit!  It's homemade--yuk! 
Yes, we've all been there.  Here's a list of catchy comebacks for those times when you want to leave someone in no doubt how you feel--about their stupid questions and remarks.  Warning:  these are NOT nice and polite!

“It’s my hobby.  You know, like golf.  Only it’s more productive and more relaxing, but probably NOT less expensive.  Plus, I hang out with more interesting people and we dress better.”   Of course, some of my favorite relatives golf, but they can’t be perfect—even if they are my relatives.

 “Do you ask people why they golf, play the piano, sculpt or paint?  Then don’t ask me the same question.”

 “Yes, I’m sure you don’t have the time.  You won’t MAKE the time (or choice, sacrifice, commitment, etc.).”

 “You have to be able to FINISH what you start.”

 “I’m sorry.  Did you say something?  I just felt a rush of hot air.”

 “It’s fun to do it to annoy people who ask stupid questions about why people knit.”

 “I am hoping Julia Roberts will spot me on location and put me in her next movie.”

 “I’m auditioning for Desperate Housewives next week and I need to practice.”

"The Queen of England knits.  It must not be THAT low class."

 “WalMart doesn’t carry cashmere sweaters and custom-fit seamless socks.”

 “SOME of us are talented enough to work with our hands.”

 “You DON”T?  You CAN’T!”  Then laugh at them.

 “Why knit?  That’s so FUNNY!”

 “This is a first--I’ve only had IGNORANT people ask me that before.”

 “I HAVE people to love and knit for.”  Requires a sneer at the end.

 “You don’t have time to relax?  Sounds like you need to get a life!”

 “Yes, I am sure watching TV is very time consuming for you.”

 “It’s part of my housework avoidance plan.”

 “Maybe YOU want to look like everyone else!”

 “My knitting isn’t made in China by prisoners or Malaysia by child labor.  How about your clothes?”

 “It occupies my hands so I don’t throttle rude people.”  Be sure to look straight at the questioner.

 “How is knitting a bigger waste of my time than explaining it to people like you?”

 “When I have my mid-life crisis, I can switch to leathers and a Harley, and it will be less expensive.  My husband will be SO pleased!”

"My parole officer said it would help steady my nerves."  Thanks for this one goes to Gail, who saw it on KnitU.

"It would drive you crazy?  Good thing I already AM crazy!"  Try to look like you might also be willing to demonstrate.  Or add, "At least, that's what the doctors think."  This was inspried by Donna in SC from the Sock Knitters list.

"Oh, the voices told me to knit.  I like pointy things."  Thanks to Katie the ER Lady from Sock Knitters for this one.  OR use "I only knit what the voices tell me to."  This, and the two below are from Amy, another Sock Knitter.

"it's part of my court-ordered therapy."

"What knitting?"  Stare directly at the person while continuing to knit.

Updated 1 April 2006--no foolin!