Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
- There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine are in
pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
- Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
- Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig.
- And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers
don't ham?
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2
geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
- Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you
call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
- If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
- Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
- Have noses that run and feet that smell?
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
- You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as
it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes
off by going on.
- English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the
human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
- That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they
are invisible.
- P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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