Colorado Signs
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by author unknown
You know you are in COLORADO when:
  • You switch from heat to air-conditioning in the same day.
  • You can travel 54 miles and go from 80-degrees to 26-degrees.
  • Your sense of direction is towards the mountains or away from the mountains.
  • You think a red light means 3 more cars can go and a green light means wait for the traffic.
  • A red light means turn right, make a U-turn, and turn right again or just go if no one else is.
  • You take visitors to Casa Bonita, but would not go there otherwise.
  • Your visitors wonder where the guard-rails are and hang onto the dash board.
  • Your visitors faint at 12,000 feet but you don't even notice when a plane loses cabin pressure.
  • You see that every other car is a 4-wheel drive and the rest are construction trucks.
  • You get first use of water and your waste water flows to 19 other states (usually North).
  • Your lakes are reservoirs and your rivers are creeks.
  • You are banned from using outside water during the winter.
  • You find yourself wandering in a mud flat and not knowing if it is a reservoir or a golf course.
  • You design Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit.
  • You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4-feet of snow, but can't get to work if there is 4-inches of snow.
  • Your car seems to need a tune-up at 6,000 feet, overheats at 8,000 feet, and won't run at 10,000 feet.
  • Interstate highways are parking lots and certainly the other lane is moving faster.
  • You notice that Eagles nest lower than your living room and rattle snakes don't like high altitude.
  • You plant trees for the Elk and flowers for the deer, but weeds go untouched.
  • You are struck by lightning no matter where you are hiding.
  • You find the wind blowing 65 mph just on your side of the road.
  • You know the correct pronunciation of Buena Vista and Cannon City.
  • You enjoy April showers which bring May blizzards.
  • You know what Chinook means and what a Rocky Mountain oyster is.
  • You know what a Fourteener is, but don't know what a turn signal is.
  • You know who Alfred Packer and Baby Doe Tabor were.
  • You know where Doc Holiday and Buffalo Bill are buried.
  • You go skiing in July and sunbathing in January.
  • You wear shorts, hiking boots, and a parka.
  • You live here because:
    • The sun always shines,
    • You are already half-way to any place in the country that you want to get to, and
    • Everywhere else has bad weather.

 


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© Copyright 1998-2004 by Jim Pool Monday, January 19, 2004