Ashley said, "I live on a farm and we have a lot of hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market when my little brother dropped the basket and they all broke. So the moral of this story is, 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket"!

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too, but we raise chickens for meat. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got five live chicks.  The moral is, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch"!

"Very good, Sarah," said the teacher.  "Now Little Johnny, do you have a story?"

Johnny said .. "My daddy told me this story about Aunt Karen."   "She was a fighter pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, then she landed in the middle of 100 Iraqi troops.  She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke. Then she chased down and strangled the last 10 with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk!!!