...And now some freakystuff.
My name is Wally. I like long walks in the park, listening to Cher records, and collecting Tiger Beat magazine. Sometimes my parents say "Wally,youre 40 years old.... dont you think its time you found a girlfriend?" I just laugh. My folks are so silly. Still, I like playing Yatzee and Stratego with them on Saturday nights. I wish you could visit my room. I have all the cool posters. Boystown is my favorite group. "Dont be breaking my heart" is my favorite song by them. Do you like Boystown? I have their poster on my wall Mikey's my favorite! Well...I have to go now, "Saved by the Bell" is starting.....BYE! XXXOOO	When they took "Hee Haw" off the air, I loaded up my shotgun and went down to the TV studio. I was pissed. I mean, sure..they took the "Dukes", then they took "the Fall Guy", but Godammit...they aint getting "Hee Haw"! Not while theres a breath in my body. The first one to confront me was the gaurd at the gate. Some roly poly, wet behind the ears , straight outta college type, with a badge and an attitude. I told him straight," This truck is moving on, Junior, you can let me be...or we can dance". He let me right through. Easy as pie. I went straight to some guys office. When I kicked in the door, there was people screaming and running all around. I betcha they all felt like I did when they took my "Hee Haw". I looked at one of them sissy boys and I said "Alrighty, you Clinton loving, flag burning, sissy man...wheres your head honcho..?" He looked at me all scared and said "Please dont shoot" I didnt shoot. I just gave him a taste of the back hand. Then some feminist loving, ACLU supporting girly, turned to me and said "What do you want??" What do I want....What do I want...!? I want Roy Clark picking his guitar....(Bam!!) I want Buck Owens singing a sweet country tune.....(Bam!!) I want Granpaw telling me a joke I aint afraid to let the young ones hear....(Bam! Bam!!) I want Dolly and Kenny singing lovesongs in the cornfeild...(Bam!!!) Thats what I want. I want America. None of this Hally McBeal, Beverly Melrose 90130, Urkel Family bullshit. I want America. I want apple pie and Gunsmoke. If I cant have it... Im taking it back. Well....I get to watch TV in my cell almost all the time now. I like "Walker, Texas Ranger"....... Still, it aint "Hee Haw".
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