"You really want me to answer this?


Where AaaRk Sensei answers the questions you've never asked.

Q: Do penguins really do Aikido?

Do hairless apes really do Polar research?

Q: Isn't this all a bit disrespectful?

If it isn't, I've wasted a lot of hours!

Q: How do penguins do shomenuchi?

"What begins with, "How do penguins do shomenuchi?", and ends with "thwack?"
"I don't know.
"Could you repeat your question?"

Q: Why doesn't your dojo use weapons?

Two words; no thumbs.
We do have seveal beak katas, so watch your kneecaps.

Q: Do you have any T-shirts?

Yes, but they are all smalls, pear-shaped and in black and white. Penguins are always wearing T-shirts.

Do you belong to any Aikido Association?

Antarctica is an "International Zone", not a country, therefore we can't have a perch on the IAF. We are connected to Hombu directly though and regularly send our paperwork and half a ton of shrimp to the Aikikai Hombu. I understand we are very popular.

What about the spiritual aspects of Aikido?

Penguins are by nature contemplative. Try squatting with an egg between your feet for six months at a time without coming to some pretty insightful conclusions about life.

How can you call it Aikido if you don't use weapons?

How come we're called birds if we can't use our wings.

What style of Aikido do you teach?

A modified traditional style. We waddle; we can't stand in hanmi; we don't roll very well; we don't do weapons. You can't slide gracefully across the ice; you can't dive naked down to the Arctic depths; you can't stand still for six months; you have wars. All life adapts; all art reflects.

andrea from California asks: "why do some of the penguins have human feet, while others have birdie feet? have genetically modified fish been to blame for this?"

Those are not human feet. Many of our students have visited dojos which have a policy of only allowing you on the mat in bare feet, so those are pull-on bare feet. They can be quite comfortable and give a cosmopolitan air.

Do you have any questions for AaaRk Sensei?
You can submit them at jimbaker6@yahoo.com or through our Guestbook , which may or may not be working.
The Original "Just ask Jim" FAQ can be found lurking hereabouts.

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