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And I listen in to myself, allow myself to be led, not by anything on the outside,
but by what wells up from deep within. - Etty Hillesum
August
25, 2006
Accept The Next Job Offer You Get!
That
was yesterday’s fortune cookie! It’s 12:07 a.m. My plane leaves in 15 hours! Mama’s coming Muriel. If the next job to be offered to me is to be a mother, than YES, I accept! Mom and I are sorting through all the final luggage details. Okay,
she’s ready, I’m still trying to figure out which tank tops will hold out the best in the 90 degree 70+ dew point
weather!
Thank
you all for your ongoing support and love during this journey. What on earth
would I do without a support system like you! Watch our travels on the Travel Log page! The itinerary is already listed and my next post will be on that page!
Blessings, Tracy
August
22, 2006
A Trip
to China
Today I saw a former co-worker. Here was the conversation:
D – How’s it
going? All the same?
Me – Going well, I
going to China on Friday.
D – Cool, I don’t
think I’ve know anyone whose gone to China before. Hey why don’t you bring home a baby with you.
Me – I am!
D – No Way!
Me – Yes Way
3 more days! J
August 21, 2006
Becoming
a Hermit
“There is no solitude
without silence. True, silence is sometimes the absence of speech – but
is always the act of listening. The mere absence of noise (which is empty of
our listening to the voice of God) is not silence. A day filled with noise and
voices [baby cries, squeals, and laughs] CAN BE a day of silence, if the noises become for us the echo of the presence of
God, if the voices are, for us, messages and solicitations of God. When we speak
of ourselves and are filled of ourselves, we leave silence behind. When
w repeat the intimate words of God that He has left within us, our silence remains intact.”
– Catherine Doherty,
Poustinia:
Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer
What an awesome retreat. Just me, all of wildlife, including the skunk the crossed my path in the middle of
the night, and God. I stepped into my hermitage and was immediately transformed. I didn’t think of what is left to do before the trip to China. No lists, no concerns, just openness to hear God’s voice speaking
to me. I feel at ease and ready to expand God’s presence in my life as
a mother in all the noise and glory that mothering brings.
August 17, 2006
Silence
On my last weekend before
I head to China I am embarking on a silent retreat in the woods.
Pacem in Terris is located just north of the twin cities and will be a place of Holy silence,
that is, last weekend of silence, for a long time to come. I hope this time of
reflection with God in the woods and no running water or electricity will be filled with a widening of the love in my heart
as a mother.
August 16, 2006
The
Silver Lining
It has been revealed, the
silver lining in the extended wait. Outside of the fact that Muriel wouldn’t
have been born had I received a referral earlier, I have now discovered why it is I had to wait so long. My drive to work is going to be impacted by road construction from now until the end of October on the
494 Bridge just east of Bloomington. All
the construction will be done by the time I return to work! Thank Goodness! I’m a daydreamer in the car and would keep forgetting to take the alternative
route.
August
15, 2006
JUST CLICK YOUR
HEALS THREE TIMES....
And your cat will stop pooping
all over the house. Dorothy clicked her red shoes three times and found her way home. I'm not sure what Griffie
was trying to tell me when she very neatly backed her rear-end up to my red dansko and left a deposit. Not really the
welcome home I've been hoping she'd give Muriel.
It's been a long two months.
Ever since last December, Griffie has been off and on fighting some kind of bug in her little system. And since it's
been off and ON, it's also become behavioral. If you know cats, once behavioral, it’s hard to correct. But
if you know and love animals, it's even harder to just write your animal off.
I'm trying to figure out
the message/learning here cat care / kid kare. Here are my options so far...
1) Flexibility - just
when you think you have it all figured out, it changes...we are now a three litterbox household - for just one cat, hmmm and
now the shoe. That is one small
little box compared to the under the bed Rubbermaid variety in the sunroom. Oh did I mention we have clumping and non-clumping
litter to offer choices for the discerning cat.
2) Body Language - some times your cat (kid) will have an issue and they won't be
able to express to you what it is, so you'll have to play detective and figure it out.
So far what I’ve figured out is she knows something is changing in the house and she’s not terribly happy
about it.
3)
Pestering - Ohhh, she looks so cute all curled up in
a fuzzy ball...she's actually resting. Resist the temptation to keep bugging her, sometimes she's better off with a
little personal space, besides, then she’s not leaving a deposit in another unsuspecting location.
4) Patience – remember, this started last December with the cat. The adoption process started 2 years ago. Parenting lasts
a life time. Need I say more.
5) If it is out of the box, solids are better than liquids. No further explanation needed.
Peace, 10 days until take off! I’ll
be leaving the gel bra at home. Let's hope when Muriel and I arrive home...Griffies on a new page in her life.
August 8, 2006
READY FOR TAKE OFF!
Pinch me! After all the waiting, delays and frustrations I am so happy
to announce that on Friday August 25 my mom and I will be hopping in a plane and heading to the far east!
Muriel and I will be united on Monday the 28th - Gotcha Day! On
this day, Muriel and I will "get" each other and be united as a forever family.
Seeing Muriel's pictures was the greatest joy of this process - having a
date that I know I will meet her is the next greatest! Of course, when the time comes, holding her in my will melt my
heart and seal the deal as mother and daughter.
We will return to the US on Saturday, September 9! I'm coming baby...just a few more weeks!
August 4,
2006
Travel Approval! and another wait…
The travel approvals arrived
today after missing their connecting flight to get to Minneapolis yesterday. These documents include the all important ‘final approval’ from China! Yippee on that account. However,
the US Consulate (to get Muriel’s Visa) is BOOKED for the rest of the month, so that pushes the trip back some more.
Still hope to leave before August ends but defiantly won’t return to the US until September. Maybe I
can get Mom and Dad back up to, um, clean the attic this time. J
Pray that
Muriel and her friends in the orphanage stay staff. There have been typhoons in the area. Yangxi was in the area
of the last one! Our agency contacted the orphange and all the children are safe from the last one, but ther eis damage
outside - and trees down!
August
1, 2006
And
the wait goes on!
Yes,
over 5 weeks after Muriel's referral arrived, I still wait for final approval to travel to become a family. I expected
travel approval (TA) to arrive about 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, the past two weeks have been painful. It appears
that there will be no word yet this week and MAYBE those approvals will come next week.
I'd like
to thank Annette and Michelle for being my rocks tonight! (Both waiting for referrals!). Mostly, girls, thank
you for entertaining my desire to go to Ulta. You put up with a lot when I had to try on the orange lipstick, and yes,
the pink nail polish is a little florescent. See what happens when your TA is late...you go a little nutty.
Keep checking here for more updates.
| The garage has NEVER been this clean! |
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Nesting!
With
the best help in the Midwest!
Imagine the conversation...
Mom, "Hi Honey, Do you need
any help around the house before we leave to get Muriel?,"
Me - in crabby, my travel
approval is overdue tone, "I don't know, let me think about it. I'll let you know."
Ring Ring. Me, "Hi
Mom, I've thought about your offer, if you are interested in cleaning either the GARAGE or BASEMENT, come on up - and bring
Dad if he's interested."
Mom, "Sounds great! We'll be there!"
| Who is SWEATING and who is PERSPIRING? |
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July
30, 2006 - Happy 19th Birthday Kimmie!
WHOS’S GOT THE BEST
MOM AND DAD AROUND?
MEMEMEMEMEME!
The plan...for garage/basement
fest 2006.... clean the garage on Saturday when it is 98 degrees and the basement on Sunday when it is 100 degrees!
About 4 hours into the garage
job, dad says with sweat dripping down his face and dust, pine needles, and dirt stuck to all the sweat, "How did I end
up here? I don't remember volunteering for this job." Regardless of whether Dad volunteered himself or mom volunteered
him, I couldn't have done so much "nesting" this weekend with out them.
4:00 Saturday, ring
ring ring...it's brother Erik..."Just checking in to see if the folks are still alive...or did you work them too hard out
in the heat!" Me, "They are fine and hey by the way, wanna come over tomorrow and get a couch for your daughter
and haul some twigs to the dump?" "Urgh....Okay." says E.
Since I decided to adopt
a child, I've slowly been shuffling things around in my house; all along thinking I've actually been "cleaning"
the house. I also realized I only have two closets in my 1918 bungalow. Muriel needs a closet, so I had to clean
hers out of the floor to ceiling stuff and find someplace to put that stuff. That is what started this basement/garage
cleaning fest.
So now, 4 huge garbage bags
of trash, 2 car trips to the thrift store, 1950's couch to my niece, Nicole, 45,000 empty boxes from the basement are
crushed and strung together for the recycling man, the tool bench is visible and a 1/2 van load of stuff (inclusive of treadmill) to
Mom and Dad's basement, oh, I mean house.... and I'm feeling good!
Dad has the stroller I received
for a shower gift assembled and there is even space in the garage for it along with my big collection of clay pots.
Well, all I can say is I am one lucky daughter and sister! I
couldn't have accomplished these ugly tasks with out the help of my family. Maybe there is some truth to the name they
gave me as a child....what was that… Lotta Litter?
LOVE YOU GRANDMA and GRANDPA, from Muriel's Mom!
July
28, 2006
Free with Purchase! So I'm desperate...I find my excitement in Ziploc bags and the like.
I've learned from the best, Perrin. But let me tell you, buy your child a changing pad...and presto-chango...a free heavy duty plastic
bag complete with zipper (the changing pad was neatly placed in this zipper bag) for all your travel goodies like butt paste
and baby Tylenol. (See front of suitcase.) Okay, so nothing is really free these days, but when your travel approval
is almost 2 weeks overdue...you'll bite at anything that sounds exciting.
This
is one large suitcase (thanks Bruce and Jodi) and it’s stuffed with all sorts of things one might need for a baby. I’m working on getting everything in it’s magic Ziploc bag and organized
so I can try and get my clothes in this bag too! What’s that international
weight limit? 50 lbs you say? I
hope that is enough.
There are brief rumors that our Travel Approvals will come on Monday. Should that be the case, I we’ll be in a plane with in a matter of a few weeks. My loose ends are almost tied up and I’d hate to have to untie them at this
point…could make things ugly!
July 24, 2006
Still waiting for travel approval. Seems like we are hitting about every slow down possible.
Between the 4th of July holiday and move of the CCAA (closed for 1+ week) to new offices, I am still waiting for final
approval to go bring Muriel home.
I have visas in hand and a mostly packed suitcase, just no official blessing from the Chinese authorities to
bring Muriel home. It also appears we will be required to be in China for 3 weeks instead of 2! Thankfully I will still
receive Muriel on the front end of the trip. Let's just hope typhoon season keeps control of itself!
July 20, 2006
It's been almost a month since I received Muriel's referral. I am
still waiting Travel Approval from the CCAA. Once we receive travel approval, we will be allowed to set our Consulate
appointment and plane tickets to travel. I imagine that we will travel about 2 weeks after we get that travel approval.
Our travel should still begin in August.
Right now the CCAA is moving their offices to a new building, so things
are a little slow this week. Hopefully that will not slow things too much. We were also notified by our agency
that we may need to stay in country for 3 weeks now instead of 2 weeks as the leadership in the province Muriel lives in has
changed. This new leadership wants to handle adoptions differently.
Like with parenting...I'll just go with the flow. Getting Muriel in my little arms as soon
as I can is my primary focus!
Thank you all for your continued well wishes. It is impossible to reply to you all, but I do
appreciate every little word and gesture of kindness to us.
Tracy
June 28, 2006
Darling Muriel,
We are one blessed family. So many people have expressed their hearts
feelings as we start our journey as a forever family! I am so grateful for all the love that has been show to us in
the past few days. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and I give thanks to the many people who have provided me
support. Soon sweetie, you and I will meet in person, for now, I feel our souls are together across the distance
of the moon and stars.
I love you,
Mama
| TRAVEL PARTNERS - REVIEWING OUR REFERRALS |
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June 22, 2006
Today is June 22, and... the CCAA
updated it's website I'M INCLUDED IN THIS BATCH OF REFERRALS! Sometime between now
and next Monday I will get to see her photo! I will have her medical history reviewed by the University of Minnesota
International Adoption Clinic and then post her photo on the website. Keep checking back to see the official announcement
- probably mid next week!
June 13, 2006
One year ago tomorrow (June 14, 2005) my paperwork to adopt was put in a
fedex package and sent off to China! The past week has been full of anticipation and wonder about whether or not
I will receive a referral this month! I'm hopeful, but as always, quite guarded in my heart! I've been following
the websites of a few other families traveling now and get teary eyed everytime I think of going through those experiences
myself! The anticipation is building and it can't be much longer for me to see the face of the child God has selected
just for me!
Check back in a week or two to see if I"m included in this month or not!
Blessings!
May 24, 2006
目前已审核完成2005年9月30日前受理的收养申请文件。
目前已选配完成2005年6月15日前受理的收养申请文件。 Yes, that say's they've
matched families through the 15th of June, 2005 and have reviewed documents through the 30th of September, 2005. Only
9 calendar days separate me from those families who are received referrals this week. I'm remaining cautiously optimistic
for a referral in about one month - exactly 12 months after my paperwork went to China. Check back then!
|
| Ling Ling's Magnolia - it's just a few twigs now, but it will get 15'-20' tall! |
May 14, 2006 - Mother's Day
Today, I wish all mothers and mothers to be a happy and blessed day. Today, as I wait to
be united by a picture with my daughter to be, I planted a magnolia tree in
her honor in the front yard. A few weeks ago I had to have to big tree in the front house removed (see the pictures
on the referral page). The shade garden is now a sun garden. While it was sad to see my old friend the tree
go, it means new life in the garden!
Nothing new for me to report on my adoption process. Check back in a few weeks to
see how far out the referrals go for this month!
|
April 26, 2006 - Many
of you have asked why the extended wait...here's the direct response from the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs!
Regards to the length of time period during matching process |
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| Date of Post：November 29th, 2005 Source：CCAA |
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|
Recently, there are many speculations on the waiting time period for adoption
process for inter-country adoption coming to China to adopt children. The following will help clarify such concerns:
CCAA highly emphasizes on efficiency, effectiveness and quality, we have put
unremitting effort to achieve this. But the length of processing time after adoptive family apply for their application is
correlated with the number of inter-country adopting families and the number with the adopting children waiting to be adopted.
If the number of adoptive families is higher than the number of children to be adopted, the waiting period will be extended,
on the other hand, if the number of children waiting for adoption out numbers the number of adoptive families, then the waiting
period will be shortened. Therefore, the waiting period for adoptive families will vary according to this and not due to inefficiency
or other controlling factors. | |
|
April 25, 2006
Referrals are coming for some families but not for me. I'm very sad this morning
as the referrals for this month only cover a 6 day span. (See message from CCAA website below). I know this
adoption lingo and process is strange to some, but when my paperwork was submitted, the wait was around 6.5 months.
I have now waited 10.5 months and at the rate of matching 5-6 days each month, I might not see the face of my precious child
until late in the summer.
I feel like my life is on hold. I so desire to move to the next phase
of my life as a mother and feel trapped by this limbo of waiting. Sometimes I just wish I had a crystal ball so I would
know when I would see her face. I know "all in good time", but when you've waited this long it gets really hard to focus
on this day when I want it to be that day off in the future. I thought I would be able to celebrate
mother's day this year - even if just with a picture, but now the day will be somewhat somber for me.
Thank you all for continuing to share in my journey - your strength builds
me up.
The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents
registered with our office before September 30, 2005. |
|
The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families
whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before June 6, 2005
remember I'm June 23 - and they are only moving a few days at a time
now...here's the last few batches of arrives.
4/26 - 5/13 arrived Jan 25 (11 business days)
5/14 - 5/25 arrived Feb 27th
(11 business days)
5/26 - 5/30 arrived March 27th (3 business days)
5/31 - 6/6 will arrive April 27th (4 business days) |
April 9, 2006
Well, it's Palm Sunday and I still am waiting, infact, as in the past several
months, the wait continue to get longer. The CCAA (www.china-ccaa.org) has now reviewed all application through August of last year and MATCHED (that's
what I'm waiting for) families Logged In as of May 30, 2005. I'm logged in June 23, 2005.
At this rate, Mom and I won't be in China until August or Septemeber of
this year. A good 7-8 months LATER than I (and everyone else adopting around the world) anticipated.
For now, I'm building friendships with other famlies who are adopting from
China. Last week my friends Erik and Emily announced their referral. Sadie Moore!
I'll be adding a page of links to websites of friends to be of Miss
Ling Ling so you can follow their journeys too!
Happy Easter!
March 13, 2006
Yup, I'm still waiting for a referral. It still seems like the closer I get, the more time is added on to the
wait. Needless to say I'm coping all right! Ling Ling's room is pretty much done and waiting for her little body
to bring life to it!
Grandma and Grandpa were here a few weeks ago and Gramps slept in the room (there's a twin bed in there in addition
to a crib). I hope the lime green walls and vintage 1930's floral wallpaper didn't keep him up too much! What
was a room with snowshoes on the wall is now 100% girl! (check out the page for her room).
At this point mom and I will be traveling in the summer. It will be hot hot hot! I hope we don't melt!
I'm trying not to think about the actual trip much, since I still can't predict for sure when we'd go! Could be as soon
as late June or as late as September!
On Ash Wednesday I got to hold watch the baby of a friend from church during mass while her mom and dad sung in the
choir. Little Abby is about 1 year old - I must say, it's time for Mommie Tracy to start lifting weights! I've
got to whip my arms and back into order before that trip!
Work has been extra busy, so that also keeps me occupied! Thank you all for continuing your interest in this
journey! I so appreciate knowing that Ling Ling's extended "village" is praying for arrival in the US!
Keep watching... Tracy
p.s.
if you are keeping track with me, CCAA has matched families with babies through May 25, 2005! I'm June 23rd! Still
probably 1000+ babies to be matched before me!
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1-19-06
Today the message below was posted on the CCAA website...I would interpret
this to mean that my adoption paperwork has been approved by China (no extra questions for me!). Now my application
will be on to the matching room. The wait continues to grow... while I had hoped for a referral by now, it still could
be 3-5 months before I get a referral and and additional 2 months after referral to travel time. I'm just glad
to be finished in the review room!
|
| "The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents
registered with our office in June 2005. |
| The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose
adoption application documents were registered with our office before April 25, 2005." |
1-5-06
Yesterday was my birthday. It's hard to beleive that one year has
passed since I was waiting by the phone for the magic phone call that would let me start the adoption process. Today,
with my trusty cat, Griffie, right next to me, we wait in hopeful anticipation of little Ling Ling.
I'm still uncertain of her arrival time, of the name I will give her, and
of the true meaning of no sleep. But I am certain that each day I am more ready to be a mother, to welcome a child into
my heart and to expand the love in my life through parenting!
I've met some incredible people during this last year....people who, like
me are journeying toward parenthood through adoption.
I hope to share with you the referall of my child in the next few months!
Keep Checking in and Happy New Year.
I love you little angel across the sea I pray for your comfort!
:) Mom.
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