In the mean time, I can keep trying to figure out the color for Ling's room, earn more paid vacation for leave and kepp trying to lose some weight!   J

 

Hi Friends and Family - It's sunny July and a some would say...I'm officially in my first trimester... of adoption.. that is.  (for those of you hearing this for the first time...yes, I'm in the process of adopting a child from China)

 

3 weeks ago all of my dossier (completed paperwork) was fedex'ed to China.    That means I've completed my home study and received "favorable determination concerning application for advance processing of orphan petition" from the BCIS (Citizenship and Immigration Services - former INS).  Basically, from the USA side, they think I'd do okay as a single mom! 

 

So what's next...I wait...approximately 6 months and 1 week longer to hear from China.  (But who's counting) If China accepts me as an adoptive mother for one of their children, I will receive a referral...including a photo of the child (healthy, girl, between 7-15 months old) and medical history.  If I accept that referral, approximately 6-8 weeks after that mom and I will be headed to China.  So if you do the math...I'm in the first trimester...of the 9 month wait!  :)

 

So what does a waiting adoptive mother do during the wait, well many of the usual motherly kinda things...

~there is that spare bedroom to paint up cute for a baby room -that is now stacked full of junk with no where to go except my aunts consignment store or the trash

~there is the baby crib to clean up - that was used by my friend Linda's son Erich and then by my nephew Bracken (who by the way just learned how to ride a bike - go Bracken!)

~there are the parenting classes that better prepare me to be a mom of a child from another country

~there is the extra socializing with friends...now when i don't need to worry about having to find a babysitter (which by the way several sweet gals from my church have shown interest in the babysitting gig)

~there is the waiting family monthly support group where I can talk with other single adoptive moms about their experience

~there is the exploring all things Asian with Annette and Mary...also adoptive single mom's to be...

~there is the extra weight I need to loose so I fit better in the airplane seat (13 hours is really long time)

~there is the researching child care options for when I have to go back to work

~there is considering names for this little babe...

and the list could go on....

 

They say this time of waiting to hear from China is one of the hardest parts of the adoption process....So as you can see, I'm planning filling the time to keep my mind off the wait!

 

One other thing that keeps me chuckling during this time is the sometimes funny things people say...just tonight the air conditioner guy said when I told him I was adopting "Are you married?"  "No", I said.  With a very puzzled look on his face replied  "Can you do that? I mean, will they let you?"  Who knows what he was really thinking....

 

Thanks you all for your ongoing interest and concern! 

 

(Julie O - I heard you are expecting. congrats...we may be on leave around the same time...a play date may be in order)

 

Tracy

March 23, 2005

Hi Friends – it’s been a while and some of you have asked how the adoption journey continues.  The past few months have brought some official status to my adoption process.  I’ve completed the application to the Department of Human Services and filed my I-600A to the USCIS (Immigration) to petition to bring an orphan into the country.  In these processes, I’ve had 5 background checks, 2 sets of fingerprints (state and FBI), and attended a two-day pre-adoption counseling program through my adoption agency, Children’s Home Society.  Now I dig in deep into my home study.

 

The two-day pre-adoption workshop was a wonderful experience.    There must have been 50 or so “families” (married couples and singles) at the training, which covered transitions, your child’s birth origin, transracial families, and three panels including adoptee now in their 20’s, adoptive families and birth mothers.  I really appreciated the frank comments by the panel members about the great aspects of adoption and the struggles.  I also had the opportunity to connect up with other singles adopting.  While the process for adoption is the same, the experience has some unique factors as a single person.

 

My favorite part of the 2-day workshop was the discussion on transracial families.  Clearly I’ve considered the impact of bringing a daughter from the Chinese culture into my family, but these discussion really encouraged me to think deeper about the impact of becoming a minority family and to expect racism whether it be toward my daughter, toward me or any one of my family and friends.  As open and accepting as you, my family and friends are, like all parents, there is an element of the world I won’t be able to control.  Thinking now about how I'll comfort my daughter when someone calls her a race related name or teases her because her mother is white will hopefully make me a better prepared to be there for her.  ! Mostly, this discussion confirmed my excitement about bringing a child from another race, heritage and culture into my life.  I think the benefits far out weigh the risks of racism. 

 

I have also had to select guardians for my daughter.  As a single person adopting from China, the Chinese government wants assurance that your child will be cared for if something happens to you.   I am tickled and so pleased that Holly and Mike Schemmel have not only agreed to be my daughter’s guardians, but also her Godparents.  For those of you that don't know, Holly and I have been friends since we were less than a year old!  Of course this little child will be blessed even more in the “Godparent” category, as 8 of my church girl friends are now officially deemed my daughters “fairy” God Mothers.  With the strong support of my brothers and their families, my parents and! Holly and Mike - I feel confident that should something tragic happen to me, the best interest of my daughter is safe!

 

So what’s next…I’ve been working on my self-study.  This is about 15 single spaced pages about me.  (See Erik and Tony (my brothers), the world does revolve around me!J) Who I am, significant memories from my childhood, my thoughts on parenting and discipline, coping skills, and so much more.  On April 4, I meet with my social worker for the first time for a three-hour interview.  I'm preparing myself for more invasive…and thorough questions.  If only all parents had the opportunity to explore themselves this much.  Thank goodness I'm not freaking out about what I'm learning about myself! 

 

I anticipate 2-3 visits with my social worker.  While she’s writing my home study, I'll be collecting all the papers for my dossier (all the paperwork to go to china).  This is quite the paper chase.  Lots of documents on finances, job, insurance, birth certificate, etc.  Before my dossier can go to China, Charles Wong (adoption attorney) will review all the documents.  If he gives my documents the green light, they will be off to China.  This will probably be in June (late May if I'm lucky).  Once my dossier is off to China it is a 5-7 month excruciating (from what I hear) wait.  At the end of that wait, I find out if China approves of me or not.  Children’s Home Society, my agency, has yet to have a dossier turned down in China.  They and the attorney have an incredible understanding of what China is looking for.  I feel confident that if Children’s Home and Charles Wong approve my application, things will go well in China.  Once China approves, they will send a referral for me to Children’s Home Society.  This will include a photo and medical history.  I will have one week to say yes or no to the child (daughter) selected for me.  Once I say yes, its about another 6-8 weeks of waiting and then my mom and I will ! be off to China for two weeks.  On about the third day of the tri p, my daughter will be placed in my hands, most likely screaming and wearing a really thick snowsuit.  (The Chinese have this thing about keeping their babies warm.)

 

Many of you have also asked if I’ve selected a name for my daughter.  The answer is no, not yet.  There are many names I like, but I want to wait to find out what her Chinese name is and see if I can incorporate her given name into her Smith name.  The trick will be how a Chinese name goes with the name SMITH!  J 

 

So there you have it.  All is going as expected.  It does take a long time and some of the steps take a little longer than I expected, but that’s okay.  I just keep the end (or is it the beginning) in mind!  

 

Thank you all for your continued support and love!  YOU mean the world to me! 

 

 

Tracy

 

The power of prayer at work again!  And as if I didn't get the message loud and clear in the first place, God sent me another message...in the gift and blessing of being accepted by BOTH adoption agencies.  Yes, Lord!  I willingly and lovingly accept your call to become a mommie!  It's been a long 10 days.  As I mentioned before the new year, this part  is a big deal in the life of a single person considering adoption! 

 

The Texas agency was to call on December 30...I didn't get a call.  But the next day, I got word they didn't get through all their calls and would be finishing them up on the 3rd of January (oh I thought, a good sign, a day before my birthday!).  Well, the 3rd came and went and there was no call .  Needless to say I was in a bit of a funky mood on my birthday.  But I quickly turned my prayers to the lottery drawing at Children's Home Society on Thursday.  With a little help from friends, we started a "low number prayer campaign"  The lower the better...for me to adopt in 2005.  :)

 

Thursday came and went and I didn't hear anything, so I pulled out my Children's Home info to learn they would mail a letter.  Friday became a vigil by the the mail box...but of course, no mail today.  I left town for the weekend to help my aunt who had fallen off a ladder and broke her leg in two places!  Not hardly able to stand it, I called Children's Home and left a message asking what the notification process was...

 

The wild ride was about to begin...within 12 hours of each other I received two voice mail messages.  One from each agency each saying they had a slot for me!  Deb from Children's Home called to say I got a really good number! And Cari from Great Wall called to say a slot opened up!   I hear ya God....one way or another, you were to provide me with an opportunity! 

 

Well, my decision has now been made and I will be working with Children's Home Society and starting the process ASAP.  I talked with Deb from Children's Home tonight while I was standing in Walgreens.  (Have ya ever cried in walgreens?) And some other lucky mommie to be will soon hear from Great Wall and learn an slot opened up for them.  Oh, and for those of you thinking the number "4" - I was number "8"! It's my new lucky number. 

 

What next?  The next four months will be lots of paperwork and homework, classes, and by June sending my paperwork to China.  If the Chinese gov't approves, I should receive a photo and medical history of a little girl selected just for me in late summer or early fall.  As number "8" sometime in October - December ish I should be traveling to china.

 

So...a new life begins...I hear Sandy's ready to childproof my house (are ya thinking all the little knick-knacks need to go)!  I'm just ever so greatful that this little loved one will have so many aunties, uncles and babysitters!  As a single parent to be...we'll need all the support we can get!

 

Thank you all for calling in a good word!  A life changing event is beginning to hold both for me and for that little girl in China!

 

 

Tracy