Recipe to Survive a Cavallo Family Christmas Party

Ingredients:
2c. surprises
1 fake hard-to-put-together Christmas Tree
8 ft. of garland
2 dozen, easily breakable, slippery ornaments
1 color T.V. switched to the football game
50 lbs. of each of each of the following; spaghetti, linguini, ravioli, rigatoni, lasanga, eggplant parmesean, and ham
12 dozen plastic forks, knives, spoons, and sporks
As many family as you can gather
1 bartender with all his supplies
50 gallons of tomato sauce (include 10 doz. meatballs and sausage links)
1 hogshead of happy thoughts
15 dozen plates
1 cousin you always forget the name of wrapped in a santa suit with boots hat and beard
1 bag of gifts
1 kareoke machine complete with 4 microphones (make sure 2 aren't working correctly)
1 dance floor (15 by 15 ft.)
6.5 tons of laughter
Optional yet recommended:
2 Advil tablets
party games
10 doz. juice boxes

Take a large meeting hall (your local Sons of Italy will do just fine) put in family, T.V., food, utensils, happy thoughts, laughter, kareoke machine, and dance floor. Make sure you coat the meeting hall with decorations, six tables, twelve chairs to a table. Mix thoroughly for fifteen minutes, then let it sit. When mixing, sprinkle in surprises. On the side add a bartender. Also on the side add the tree, garland, and ornaments ( must be completed five seconds before serving). After letting mixture sit for fifty minutes, add party games and cousin with bag of gifts. Then flick in the Advil with the juice boxes. Then mix and place under heat for thirty minutes (400 degrees F recommended). Let cool then serve. Serves about fifty.

By Tony C.