February 9, 2004

So, as some of you may have read, last month, some friends and I celebrated a new holiday called Tablemas. I had taken Jen to IKEA to buy a kitchen table, and she made us all dinner to celebrate. And, it was so great that we decided that night that we should celebrate it every month instead of once a year like most holidays. And because I had had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, I volunteered to be the next host.

Actually, I really like to cook for people. I think cooking is fun, but usually, I just cook for myself and tend to make the same simple things over and over again. The real problem is my apartment. It's tiny. I have one of those typical miniature urban kitchens: very little counter space, 3/4 size refrigerator that doesn't even have a proper freezer, a tiny stove. I mean, my stove has four burners, but they are so close together that I can only really use two of them at any given time because my pots and pans all take up too much space. And you know those new "fridge packs" of coke they're selling now? Well, I can't fit one in my fridge.

And then when Mo told me that her friend Dan was going to be visiting this weekend, and with the addition of the new member of the gang, Shannon, I realized that there were going to be six people at this dinner and that I only owned five chairs. I used to have six chairs, but then the one I had been using as a computer chair had started to fall apart, so I threw it out a few weeks ago. In addition to the overall lack of chairs, four of the five remaining chairs were cheap, uncomfortable folding chairs. Basically, I needed some real chairs...and so in the spirit of Tablemas, I declared this next installment of the holiday to be Chairmas.

So, Saturday, I went to IKEA and bought four actual dining chairs. "Harry" chairs. They aren't the most gorgeous things ever, but they were comfortable and not too expensive. And I liked the fact that they had removable slipcovers that are easy to wash. And in fact, just a few hours after I brought them home, I managed to spatter one of them with lemon goo from the pie I was making. However, I didn't actually remove the chair's slipcover and wash it. Maybe someday.

So, with the chairs down, all that remained to be done was the actual food preparation. I decided to mostly make things that I'd made before, just to make life a little easier for myself. And in doing this, I realized that most of the things I like to cook don't have actual recipes. A couple of them started out as recipes, but after I've made them a few times, they've become so bastardized they bear little resemblance to the original. Here, as an example to you is the "recipe" for the rice and beans I made. And I only wrote this down because Jen asked for the recipe, and this is what I sent her:

It is really very easy. The key is getting the Inner Beauty Sweet Papaya Mustard, which seems to be available through a variety of websites. This one has the best price I could find.

So here is the "recipe:"

The day before, cook some rice. I cooked 1-1/2 cups of rice in 2 cups of water, so however much rice that makes. After it's cooked, fluff the rice up with a fork, and put it in the refrigerator in an uncovered bowl overnight. It will get dried out, which is good.

Then, the next day, saute half a large or a whole small diced onion in some olive oil (maybe 2 tablespoons?) in a large frying pan or wok. Sometimes, I also add a clove or two of minced garlic, although I didn't last time. When the onion is getting pretty brown, throw in half a chopped red bell pepper. (When I made it for you guys, I purposely used less onion than I usually do, because I knew that Shannon doesn't like onions. I then added some extra bell pepper to compensate because the onions and peppers add some sweetness that counteracts the slightly bitter taste of the mustard).

While the vegetables are cooking, drain three cans (I think they are 8 oz? Whatever the standard can is) of blackeyed peas (or any other type of bean you like, but I like the peas because they are firm and don't get smushed when you stir them) and rinse them until they stop foaming. When the vegetables are close to being cooked, throw the beans in the frying pan and stir them around for a minute or two until they are warmed up.

Then add the rice. It will be very sticky and sort of hard to manage so you might want to have some paper towels at the ready to get the rice off your hands. Basically, you just want to break the rice up and get it warmed all the way through. It also will probably get sort of "crusty" in places, which I like. Then, add the Sweet Papaya Mustard. I usually use almost a whole bottle for this amount of rice and beans. I also use another sauce from them called Inner Beauty Hot Sauce, but I think you could substitute hot pepper flakes or tabasco or something and it would be the same. Basically, I just add the sauces a bit at a time and then taste it until it gets to be the way I like it.

Anyway, I hope this is not too confusing! It certainly took a long time to write for something so easy to make!

So yeah. That's how I cook. Note my eloquent overuse of the word "basically."

But the food turned out OK, although I put too much lime juice on the chard and too much liquid in the mashed potatoes, and then the Chairmas itself was great fun, and lasted into the wee hours of the night. K. and Shannon even helped me move all my furniture back into place once we'd finished eating and drained all the wine. The only moment of ugliness was when I caught Jen trying to steal the wine charms Shannon had made for me by wearing them as earrings, but who could blame her, really?