TEASER

                             SCENE A

         INT. PAUL AND JAMIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
         (Paul, Jamie, Murray)

         PAUL AND JAMIE ARE IN BED, WITH NEWSPAPERS SPREAD
         OUT ALL AROUND THEM.  MURRAY IS LYING ON THE BED,
         PERFORMING NO DIFFICULT TRICKS.

                            PAUL

                     (INDICATES PAPER)

                Hey, here's something.

                            JAMIE

                What?

                            PAUL

                Woman gave birth...

                            JAMIE

                It happens.

                            PAUL

                Didn't know she was pregnant.

                            JAMIE

                What?!

                            PAUL

                Didn't know.  No sickness, no

                showing...

                            JAMIE

                No sickness?  No showing?

                            PAUL

                That's what I'm saying.

         JAMIE SCRAMBLES FOR THE PHONE.




         "Trouble-Free Pregnancy" First Draft 10/26/95                 2
                                                                (TEASER)


                            PAUL (CONT'D)

                Where are you going?

                            JAMIE

                I'm calling her.  Maybe she has a

                secret formula.

                            PAUL

                There's no secret formula.

                            JAMIE

                You don't know that!  My god, think

                of the implications!

                            PAUL

                What, a nation of women who are

                pregnant, don't show it, and give

                birth with no fuss, no muss?

         JAMIE GIVES HIM A LOOK.

                            PAUL (CONT'D)

                Where's that phone?

         THEY BOTH SCRAMBLE TO LOOK FOR IT, AND WE:

                                                 FADE OUT:



















         "Trouble-Free Pregnancy" First Draft 10/26/95                 3
                                                                 (ONE/B)


                             ACT ONE

                             SCENE B

         INT. PAUL AND JAMIE'S APARTMENT - LATER
         (Paul, Jamie)

         PAUL AND JAMIE ARE IN THE LIVING ROOM.  JAMIE IS
         ON THE PHONE.

                            JAMIE

                San Luis Obispo, California...  The

                number for a Christina Allison?  I'll

                hold.

                            PAUL

                     (SLEEPY)

                You know, even if you get the number,

                it's getting close to midnight, their

                time.

                            JAMIE

                And they have a newborn baby.

                            PAUL

                Your point being...

                            JAMIE

                They're not asleep!  The baby's up!

                The baby's being fed, crying, doing

                baby things.

                            PAUL

                You know, honey, did you ever stop to

                think that maybe, the baby is calmed

                down after a full day of baby things?





         "Trouble-Free Pregnancy" First Draft 10/26/95                 4
                                                                 (ONE/B)


                            JAMIE

                No way.  You read about this couple.

                They're active.  They're "on the go."

                They're probably just getting back

                from a late dinner.

                            PAUL

                You don't even know these people, and

                you're willing to call them at

                midnight, just to find out how she

                had a no-fuss baby?

                            JAMIE

                Oh, wait!

                     (INTO PHONE)

                Operator... yes... Oh, yes, they did

                have the miracle baby.  So you've

                given this number out before?  Several

                hundred times?  I see.  Thanks.

                            PAUL

                This is what I'm saying.  They're

                busy.  The whole country is calling

                them.  Maybe we could be part of the

                whole country that's not.

                            JAMIE

                It couldn't hurt to give it a ring

                once.

                            (MORE)





         "Trouble-Free Pregnancy" First Draft 10/26/95                 5
                                                                 (ONE/B)


                            JAMIE (CONT'D)

                     (SHE DIALS UP THE NUMBER)

                Besides, I thought you were interested

                in having a baby of our own?

                            PAUL

                Interested in having a baby, yes.

                Interested in making midnight calls

                to America's most popular new parents,

                not so much.

         JAMIE HANGS UP THE PHONE.

                            PAUL (CONT'D)

                I'm glad you came to your senses.

                Let's go to bed.

                            JAMIE

                Senses?  It was busy.

                         END OF ACT ONE