INT. CENTRAL PERK - MORNING - (DAY 1)
(Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Kid
THE GROUP HAS GATHERED FOR MORNING COFFEE AND
NEWSPAPERS. RACHEL IS SITTING, NOT SERVING.
Oh, check this out! They pulled this
kid's head out of drain-pipe.
What's so unusual about that?
It was at the zoo...
..connected to the hyena cage...
JOEY IS MOVING CLOSER TO CHANDLER.
And it was feeding time...
Okay, I think we get the picture!
Yeah, I mean, leave something to our
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 2
Did they eat him?
Yes, Joey. They ate him. Bit by
Of course they didn't eat him! What
kinda' sicko are you?
Well, they could have eaten him...
If they let the hyenas into the drain
system at the Zoo..
...which they don't...
..'cause who wants to see a hyena in
our sewer system?
A SMALL CHILD POPS HIS HEAD UP FROM BEHIND THE
Oh! A hyena! And Simba, the Lion
King of the Jungle!
HIS MOTHER APPEARS TO WHISK HIM AWAY.
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 3
Timmy! Don't talk to strangers!
THEY EXIT. THE GROUP CONTINUES TO LOOK THROUGH
Omigod! Rachel, Mon, look at this
THEY GATHER OVER HER SHOULDER.
Oh god! No way! Get out!
I mean, really!
THE GUYS CRANE THEIR NECKS FOR A BETTER VIEW.
Hey... we're feeling a bit left out.
I know! We're all over here reading,
and you're not!
Howsabout we make the transition from
"reading" to "sharing?"
Oh, I don't think so.
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 4
This is a chick thing.
Def chi thi.
THE GROUP STARES.
I don't have time to say the whole
Okay, okay! Definite Chick Thing!
Ye we a ha, Phoe.. ("Yes, we are happy,
So! What's the big news?
You are not going to believe this.
We might, if you tell us.
No, really, this is one for the books.
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 5
Okay, there were these two people.
And they had known each other for a
long time. And so...
This lady didn't even know she was
pregnant and went to the hospital and
had a baby!!!
Well, that would be the short version,
Phoebs. The long version is good,
Sorry, couldn't wait. You know, the
story was getting all, like,
unbelievable and stuff? So it had to
come out in a hurry.
Like the baby?
END OF TEASER
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 6
INT. CENTRAL PERK - MOMENTS LATER - (DAY 1)
(Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel)
THE GROUP IS STILL PONDERING THE AMAZING PREGNANT
WOMAN STORY IN THE PAPER.
Can you believe it?
Is that wild?
Yeah, like it really happened!
C'mon, had a baby and didn't know she
was pregnant? Didn't know? Hello?
How do you not know you're going to
have a baby?
Maybe the chick was huge to begin
I think not! Look, says here she was
only 5'2", and not much more than 100
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 7
Not much more!
Must have been one small baby.
Nope. Healthy as can be. Almost six
and a half pounds.
And she didn't know?
How do you, "not know?"
Oh there's ways to "not know."
Oh, I know ways to "not know."
No... you DON'T know. That's the
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 8
Says here everybody's health, happy,
and looking forward to the future.
A baby... a family... Mom and Dad
and a new kid.
That is what we consider a family
here in America, yes.
ROSS DRIFTS, LOST IN HIS FANTASY OF A REUNITED
Hey, hey, come back to us, big guy!
Yeah, Ross, Chandler's right. You
can't let family-related news get you
in a funk.
(LOOKING VERY SINCERELY AT
WE need the funk.
(PICKING IT UP)
Got to have the funk!
"The One With the Sudden Baby" First Draft 10/26/95 9
(LOW AND "FUNKY")
Okay.... the Mothership is landing,
and I've got to make the connection.
SHE GETS UP TO LEAVE, AND THE OTHERS FOLLOW.
You gonna be okay?
I was just thinking about how lucky
THE GROUP EXITS.
END OF ACT ONE
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