August 23, 1998
It remains hot here in Southern California, although I realize, weather-wise,
weíve got very little to complain about.
I mean thereís no hurricanes. And the humidity is non-existent,
except on that rare muggy night. But we get those rare muggy nights
So, Bill Clinton is "Wagging the Dog" to divert
attention from the sex scandal? Um, no. As messed up as the
presidentís personal life is, I still have to believe that he would order
missile strikes only when they were really, actually needed. Even
some hard-core Republicans, after having been briefed on the situation,
agreed that this attack was justified.
Iíd feel a lot better about the whole attack/counter attack thing
if I didnít have a very dear friend visiting the Middle East right now.
Safe travels, Amy, safe travels.
||Thanks for your overwhelming response to last
weekís column. Dr. Higgleston managed to smuggle out these product
shots of his newest creations, bringing to nine the total number of Cheez-It
varieties. Is that man brilliant or what? He should be released
any day now. More Cheez-It information is available at, where else,
www.Cheez-It.com, which brilliantly
bills itself as "Crackers in Cyber-Space."
The Mark McGwire "drug use" thing has also got my dander up this
week. First off, reporters shouldnít be snooping around in anyoneís
locker. Period. Bad reporters, bad! Now, letís say you
find a legal, over the counter substance. So what? Itís legal,
itís sold over the counter, and Mark thinks it helps his workout.
God bless him. When itís illegal, then weíll talk. Until then,
letís just sit back and watch this incredible hitter bash baseballs out
of the park.
Of course, no less stupid in the race for "Stupidest Maris Chase
Story of the Week" was the take out of Chicago that an Astros pitcher,
his team having a huge lead in the late innings, grooved a pitch or two
in for Sammy Sosa to knock out of the park, which he did. Oh yeah,
did I mention that the pitcher and Sammy are both Latin Americans?
Theyíre buddies from back home. So *of course* there had to be some
kind of Hispanic conspiracy! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Is this
what sports reporting has sunk to?
Are you as fired up about the fall TV season as I am?
Boy, I canít wait for hot new shows like ... like ...
Again, a plea to Hollywood. If it ainít on the
page, it wonít be on the stage. For example, hereís what should have
happened in one high profile case. Imagine youíre a Hollywood executive,
and youíve just gotten the script for the new big budget version of The
Avengers. You should say to yourself: "Whatís the best
possible movie that could be made from this script. Hmm, a pretty
sucky one. Better pass, or assign someone to re-write this until
we get it right." Oh, I can dream, canít I?
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Last updated August 23, 1998