June 7, 1998
Anger is an Energy 
Iíve been surfing the Ďnet a lot recently, and have come to the following conclusion:  In order to cut through the clutter and make an impression, the best Internet writing, when it comes to personal home pages, is tinged with anger, or some variation thereof.

It seems to me that the pages Iíve enjoyed the most are those where someone is either really, really pissed off at the world, or, perhaps more accurately, really pissed off at something in particular, whether it be school, family, life, top forty radio or cats.

Thereís just too damn much information available out there for any reasonable person not to pay attention to things which arenít demanding your attention.

Maybe "anger" isnít the right word for it.  Maybe itís more of a strict point of view.  An outlook on the world that is both unique and imperative.

Then, after checking out these sites I like, I go back and read some of the columns Iíve written in the past year and a half, and wonder if Iím living up to the standards that others have set.

See, I think this is an interesting page.  Overall, the Monkey-Thon is updated often, features interesting, exclusive content, and, of course, a swinging Siamang which has no relation to the rest of the site.

But am I really saying anything?  Shouldnít I be angrier, more strident?  Donít you, the reader, feel cheated by my columns which lack passion?

So what are the things Iím passionate about?  Well, judging by past columns, the answers would appear to be journalism and social mores, not necessarily in that order.

Journalism and media critiques can be a bit dry, I grant you that.  But I think theyíre important.  People have such a huge responsibility to be critical consumers of the news, and of entertainment programs.  Often, that responsibility is left in the dirt, beaten down by the Springer show mentality which has numbed our desire for something more from the medium.

As for social mores, I think theyíve often been left in the dirt, beaten down by the Springer show Ö oh, never mind.

You see, a homepage on the web is a very personal glimpse in to the life of an actual person.  In some non-JenniCam ways, youíd probably know more about me if you read this entire site (and donít do it; the last person who did ended up bringing Federal charges against me, and thatís the kind of hassle I can do without) than if I narcissistically trained a digital camera to record every other minute of my existence.

So, starting this week, Iím going to get fired up.  Iím going to bring the edge back to this column.  Iím going to tap in to the anger that burns in my 31-year-old soul.  Iím going to write a column that will knock you on your butt.

So whatís pissing me off this week?

Have you seen the new design for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?  I mean, come on, are we really a country that needs more than five variations of this product?  I can understand the need for shells and cheese, but Superheroes and cheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and cheese, spirals and cheese, macaroni and white cheddar cheese Ö where will it all end?

Okay, so maybe that wasnít the most interesting riff in the world.  Still, I liked it.  I hope you did too.

Yes, itís another column which ends with a desperate plea for understanding on behalf of the reading audience.  (Another hallmark of most webpages -- the need to be loved.)

Are we through yet?  Is this page over?


Okay, what else?

Top Ramen costs $.18.  At what point do you think theyíre going to start just giving it away.  Imagine the press release.  "You know what?" said a top Ramen executive, "Just take the stuff.  Weíre all sick of it.  Go on.  Take it!"

I guess this is a function of being relatively happy and secure.  Maybe something else will happen to bring back my edge.  Can you really work on "sharpening" yourself?  Reading back over some of my past columns, I find plenty I like.  Maybe someday, this one will join that list.

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Colin Campbell - jenolen@earthlink.net
Last updated June 7, 1998