It’s an interesting world we live in.

While the President Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal still dominates the headlines, I think a much more significant sexually-related case just wrapped up. Former Sgt. Major of the Army Gene McKinney was acquitted on 18 counts of coercive sexual misconduct by a military court. In a logic-twisting move, the court did find him guilty of obstructing the investigation into the alleged crimes. You see, McKinney was caught on tape telling one of his accusers, "Just tell them that we talked. ... No inappropriateness at all, just that we talked." Um, Sgt. Major McKinney? Tell them that you "just talked" instead of what?

To me, it seems like a man has been convicted of covering up a crime he didn’t commit. I mean, the jury found that nothing inappropriate happened between McKinney and his six female accusers … so how could he be convicted of covering up nothing? A cover-up of nothing *is* nothing, right?

No, I fear what’s happened here is that McKinney probably did force himself upon his accusers, but for wacky military trial reasons, his jury wouldn’t convict him. Race was an element in this case – McKinney is black, the majority of his accusers are white. Then, there was this rather disturbing passage from an L.A. Times account of the trial:

"McKinney, looking relaxed, asked the jury to consider nearly three decades of service and allow him to retire with honor. As he left the witness stand, McKinney glared at five of his accusers. Ms. Fetrow (an accuser) raised her eyebrows and dropped her jaw in disbelief when she caught his glare."

Yeah, this is a man who isn’t an intimidating bully. We’re all on your side, Gene. Those women, all six of them, with their separate, detailed accounts of your crude come on’s, they were just out to get you. You’ve done nothing wrong.

I’m sure Sgt. Christine Roy was making her story up. She says you pressured her for sex, and even forced yourself on her, raping her, when she was seven months pregnant. But you didn’t do that, did you Gene? Of course not. All six of these women (five soldiers and one sailor) just happened, all of them, to independently, without consulting each other, file charges against you. Hey, man, sometimes that just happens!

You’re a dishonor to the Army, Gene McKinney. Hell, you’re a dishonor to men as a whole.

The jury decided to reduce McKinney in rank by one level for obstructing the investigation into his non-crime.

And we’re worried if Monica Lewinsky and the President got together, two adults (granted, one, just barely adult), mutual consent?

Gah.

In an unrelated story, Puff Daddy is teaming up with Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page for a track on the Godzilla soundtrack. Puffy will incorporate bits from the classic Zep rocker "Kashmir." You may or may not know that Puffy recently "remixed" the Police’s song "Roxanne" to the point where you’d be hard pressed to prove it was in fact based the original song.

Puffy – I’m only going to say this once. Stop. Stop now. Please, on behalf of America, I’m begging you to create some new music. Enough is enough.

Thank you.