Yes, Larry King is my columnistic hero. Every Monday (hey, just like me!) you can read Larry blabber on and on about his favorite things (hey, just like me!). But Larry does his in snappy little segments, like:

"If you don’t like Elmore Leonard’s mystery novels, check your pulse, cause you ain’t living … Isn’t Buddy Ebsen a national treasure? … What’s the deal with beets?"

I guess this is my way of saying that this week’s column will not have a mono-topiaical structure. Enjoy.

Someday, people will ask me, "Colin, where do you get your ideas for the big column?" And I’ll say to them, "How do you know my name? Are you stalking me? Is that it? Just back the hell up, okay, bub?"

Am I the only person who likes to make up words? In this column alone, I think I’ve pushed the boundaries of the English language a bit. "Mono-topiaical" means, obviously, "relating to a single topic." I pronounce it "mono-taw-PIE-ah-cal." "Columnistic" means "of or relating to a column; having the properties of a column."

Saw "The Empire Strikes Back" this weekend. Damn good film. And I’d like to personally thank George Lucas for not changing any of the scenes so as to alter character motivations and actions. It’s just great to see the "Star Wars" trilogy back on the big screen. I’m sorry there’s only one more re-release left to come!

My friend Jennifer Katz insisted I mention her this week. Seems her roommate is a Swedish/Norwegian supermodel (no kidding!), who has several web-pages devoted to her. Well, Jennifer, here’s your little step into cyber-space.

Is it just me, or is "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" getting better and better, while "Star Trek: Voyager" slides down the slope to mediocrity? "DS9’s" Tribble tribute episode this year is one of the best TV shows ever. No kidding. It’s being rebroadcast in a couple of weeks. Do try to check it out. (Maybe then, I’ll tell you my story about sneaking on to the empty set of the old Starship Enterprise.)

Taco Bell sells $0.59 tacos. Del Taco offers a $0.39 taco. Who will be the first to break the $0.20 taco barrier? Don’t forget, they once said man would never run a four-minute mile.

"NewsRadio" will someday be a top five show. Bank on it.

And while we’re talking TV, it’s good to see "Saturday Night Live" back into one of its "funny" phases. Tim Meadows – hang in there. You’re the last thread connecting this cast back to the Hartman/Lovitz/Carvey/Meyers glory days earlier this decade.

By this time next year, every new computer game will be playable via network or modem. I’d sell my "arcade" stock soon.

Speaking of stock, I’m addicted to the Hollywood Stock Exchange. If you want to spend precious time (and virtual money) playing the stock market of celebrity, check it out. It’s only mildly addicting.

Hey, this wasn’t so bad, was it? Maybe I’ll do more of these type of columns. Let me know what you think.