February 23, 1997
A Tribute to Larry King
Yes, Larry King is my columnistic hero. Every Monday (hey, just like me!) you can read Larry blabber on and on about his favorite things (hey, just like me!). But Larry does his in snappy little segments, like:
"If you donít like Elmore Leonardís mystery novels, check your pulse, cause you ainít living Ö Isnít Buddy Ebsen a national treasure? Ö Whatís the deal with beets?"
I guess this is my way of saying that this weekís column will not have a mono-topiaical structure. Enjoy.
Someday, people will ask me, "Colin, where do you get your ideas for the big column?" And Iíll say to them, "How do you know my name? Are you stalking me? Is that it? Just back the hell up, okay, bub?"
Am I the only person who likes to make up words? In this column alone, I think Iíve pushed the boundaries of the English language a bit. "Mono-topiaical" means, obviously, "relating to a single topic." I pronounce it "mono-taw-PIE-ah-cal." "Columnistic" means "of or relating to a column; having the properties of a column."
Saw "The Empire Strikes Back" this weekend. Damn good film. And Iíd like to personally thank George Lucas for not changing any of the scenes so as to alter character motivations and actions. Itís just great to see the "Star Wars" trilogy back on the big screen. Iím sorry thereís only one more re-release left to come!
My friend Jennifer Katz insisted I mention her this week. Seems her roommate is a Swedish/Norwegian supermodel (no kidding!), who has several web-pages devoted to her. Well, Jennifer, hereís your little step into cyber-space.
Is it just me, or is "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" getting better and better, while "Star Trek: Voyager" slides down the slope to mediocrity? "DS9ís" Tribble tribute episode this year is one of the best TV shows ever. No kidding. Itís being rebroadcast in a couple of weeks. Do try to check it out. (Maybe then, Iíll tell you my story about sneaking on to the empty set of the old Starship Enterprise.)
Taco Bell sells $0.59 tacos. Del Taco offers a $0.39 taco. Who will be the first to break the $0.20 taco barrier? Donít forget, they once said man would never run a four-minute mile.
"NewsRadio" will someday be a top five show. Bank on it.
And while weíre talking TV, itís good to see "Saturday Night Live" back into one of its "funny" phases. Tim Meadows Ė hang in there. Youíre the last thread connecting this cast back to the Hartman/Lovitz/Carvey/Meyers glory days earlier this decade.
By this time next year, every new computer game will be playable via network or modem. Iíd sell my "arcade" stock soon.
Speaking of stock, Iím addicted to the Hollywood Stock Exchange. If you want to spend precious time (and virtual money) playing the stock market of celebrity, check it out. Itís only mildly addicting.
Hey, this wasnít so bad, was it? Maybe Iíll do more of these type of columns. Let me know what you think.