Yes, the near-palindromic title of this special bonus column must mean it’s time for our first annual look back on the year that was – 1997!

Let’s start with a brief review of the good, the bad, and the ugly!

(All opinions expressed in the following column are the opinion of the author only, and do not represent the opinions of @LA.COM, The Punch Drunk Monkey-Thon, WebChimp Enterprises, Inter-Siamang Ltd., Global Trans-Mandrill Inc., or Galactic Orangutan Partners, their subsidiaries, licensees, vendors, or suppliers.)

(By the way, for those of you keeping score at home, that’s more "monkey" references in the preceding paragraph than have been made all year here at the Monkey-Thon. No, I don’t have a "thing" for monkeys (unlike the attachment my new sister-in-law has developed for an especially cute monkey doll Christmas gift from my brother Morgan). I just like the sound of "Punch Drunk Monkey-Thon.")

(Okay, enough with the parentheticals. On with the awards!)

BEST MOVIE

Hmm. Tough call. L.A. Confidential was crackling good, with surprise twists, characters you cared about, and a delicious portrait of Los Angeles in the 50’s. Titanic was a monster, overloaded with the best kind of historical detail, and visually unmatched in modern film. It’s unfair to pick between the two of them. Oscar is going to get on board Titanic (now that it’s a box office hit, it’s okay for the Establishment to like it, and reward James Cameron) so my little Monkey-Thon award will go to the better film, by a surgically reshaped nose, to L.A. Confidential.

BEST TV SHOW

I watch a lot of TV, but I don’t watch everything on TV. That makes it tough to award a "Best TV Show" overall award. Instead, how about I give out a couple of sub-awards?

BEST TV SHOW I WATCH

NewsRadio makes me laugh more consistently than any other "Must-See" show. They’re not so mainstream, and so they’re not afraid to throw in the obscure reference or ten every episode. Well written, very well acted, always surprising.

BEST TV SHOW I WATCH (HOUR LONG)

I don’t make time to watch too many hour long shows. So many of them just don’t appeal to me. (Live "ER", anyone?) I would have to say my favorite in this category is ABC’s Saturday night legal show, The Practice. Dylan McDermott and Lara Flynn Boyle head a cast of lawyers in what could be considered the "Anti-L.A. Law." Every time I’ve watched, I’ve enjoyed this show. Check it out! (ABC is even moving it to Monday nights now. You’ve got no excuse for missing it.)

BEST TV SHOW I WATCH (15 MINUTES LONG)

What’s this, you’re saying, what show is 15 minutes long? Space Ghost: Coast to Coast on Cartoon Network. Simply the damn funniest 15 minutes to be found on TV. Consistent laughs from smart writing, great vocal acting, and constantly befuddled "guests" who interact with an animated trio of 60’s Hanna-Barbera characters. It’s on Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night, so dial it up, why don’t you? It’s electrifying!

TV HONORABLE MENTION

I have to say, once again, that one of the most funny things I saw on TV this last year was a segment of Pinky and the Brain titled "Pinky and the Brain … And Larry." I laughed until I cried. Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain fans should keep an eye out for this one in reruns.

WORST SHOW

Union Square. Ugh.

BEST ALBUM

No winner in this category.

But, you’ll be happy to know that due to a recent ruling by the IRS, all Americans are allowed to declare either one Spice Girl or one Hanson CD as an "act of pop music insanity." I have the "Wannabe" CD single, that’s it. If you own both, seek professional help.

WORST MUSIC TREND

Inclusion of Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs remixes on just about every album or single released during the year. His remix of the Police’s "Roxanne" is particularly grating.

WORST MUSIC TREND HONORABLE MENTION

Lame, guitar-rock from no-talents like Duncan Sheik, Third Eye Blind, Matchbox 20, Foo Fighters, and most of the bands played on "Adult Album Alternative" stations like LA’s Star 98.7. I could live for a long time without hearing that same jangly guitar sound again. When Hootie and Dave Matthews made it popular, it was just a little annoying. But now, every other song on the radio sounds the same. Feh.

BEST COMPUTER GAME

Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight. If only for the Multi-player mode and the use of a lightsabre as a weapon. This game kicks serious ass.

BEST COMPUTER GAME FROM 1994 STILL ON SOME STORE SHELVES AT A MARKDOWN PRICE OF $3.99

Multimedia Celebrity Poker. You’re the fourth player at a table from hell that includes Joe Piscopo, Morgan Fairchild, and the beloved Commander Riker from ST:TNG, Jonathan Frakes. This multimedia experience has to be seen to be believed. It’s a wonder people didn’t see this CD-ROM and just give up on the whole field.

VIDEOGAME YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF YET, BUT WILL BE SICK OF BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR

Parappa the Rapper. Trust the Monkey-Thon on this one. A rapping puppy tries to win the heart of his true love. Only on PlayStation. Whee!

BEST LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOST

Sorry, Dave. Conan O’Brien is the new king of late night. For those of you who doubt this, my response is three words that pretty well sum up O’Brien’s wacky genius: The Masturbating Bear. Must be seen to be believed.

FAVORITE OF MY OWN COLUMNS

I’m partial to You Make the Call, because it so beautifully encapsulates all that is wrong with dating in Los Angeles these days. But the popular favorite seems to be Excuse Me Ma’am, There’s Vermin in Your Hair. No, I haven’t seen Rat Girl since that fateful encounter.

THE YEAR IN LETTERS

Let’s take this opportunity to look at some of the feedback we here at the Monkey-Thon received for our efforts at bringing you nothing but the finest in Internet entertainment.

"This page sucks it doesn't have new movies."

--Well, that’s why we started the Capsule Review page. Thanks.

"I thought that the movie reviews were way cool but what's up with the grading system? An A doesn't mean that much when half the movies get em. Time to slide the curve downwards but the whole site was pretty cool."

--Guilty as charged. I like movies, and want to like movies when I see them. I’ve tried to be a bit more judicious, and you’ll notice, the grading scale has gone down a bit.

Where did you hear about this page: "from a pop star who just loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and indeed so do I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

--Um, thanks.

"I just read the page about "the rules". I'm a Frenchman living in the US and I think this book is a curse. Girls want romanticism but will just manipulate men by following tips from a book. It takes out most of the fun from the dating game... Good page, I liked it."

--Coming soon in ’98: My take on "The Rules II." Here’s a hint: It’s a lot like the first book.

"I think you need to get out a dictionary and look up the word "acting." If you think that what’s her name Garafalo is any where close to HALF the actress Jodie Foster is you're crazy. Garafalo could never take on the roles that Foster has. You don't seem to like anything besides comedies... well to jump around and spaz out like Jim Carrey does NOT take much talent. I suggest sticking to comedy movies. You don't seem to know a great actor when you see one."

--My crush on Janeane has gotten a little out of hand, I admit. But I really like the movies she’s in, and I think she’s the reason why. I gave Jodie her due for Contact, and you’re right, Janeane couldn’t play that role. They’re different actresses, and they’re talented. And no, Jodie couldn’t have done The Truth About Cats and Dogs.

"I love your site because you named it after my band, MPress recording artists Punch Drunk Monkeys… p.s. we're a clown-fronted metal-punk circus band..."

--Well, it takes all kinds.

"The paint on the bricks is a little bland."

--Our crack graphics staff is currently working on overhauling the graphic interface of the Monkey-Thon; look for our new look by Spring.

And finally, two of my favorite messages. I wrote a column simply titled "I Hate Elmo." I think a make a pretty good case against the hyperactive furry red psuedo-Muppet. One young reader agreed, another did not.

"I know exactly what you mean! I hate elmo with a passion, and I'm paying for it from all my friends who think that I'm "jealous" of him! If that isn't the biggest pile of bs! I've finally found someone who has the exact feeling for elmo that I do! THANK YOU!"

That message was followed a day later by this one:

"i think u r stupid for having this on cuase elmo rules so u can get a life. ELMO ROCKS THIS WORLD!!!!! ELMO ROCKS THE WORLD!!!!!"

Well, you certainly told me.

Goodnight, everyone!