SJFic's 1st Annual Fan Fiction Contest

TITLE: The Anniversary
AUTHOR: D'Rinda
EMAIL: jenifer624@earthlink.net
CATEGORY: angst, J/S, UST, touch of humor
RATING: PG 13 - language, UST
SEASON/SEQUEL: set somewhere in Season 5
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, Window of Opportunity & minor ones for Tangent, Hathor and A Hundred Days.
SUMMARY: Jack celebrates a very important anniversary. (SJFic's 1st annual Fan Fiction Contest)
ARCHIVE: Please ask first
STATUS: complete
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not mine (wish they were). They belong to a bunch of suits at MGM, I think. I'm not making any money, so please don't sue me. This is for entertainment purposes only. Not to be archived without permission.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks go to Gail for her wicked and wonton ways - as always, the best beta a girl could have. Feedback is welcome, but please be kind.
DEDICATION: For the gang at SJFic. Hope you like it!

~~~*~~~

P4G-881
"Off-world activation!" the speakers announced as the klaxons blared. General George Hammond quickly made his way to the control room. He was never really far away, but always managed to stay extra close when a team was scheduled to return home.

He waited for the confirmation of the IDC that would allow him to order the iris opened. He always held his breath, knowing that the possibility existed that something might go wrong with a transmitter and they wouldn't get the iris open in time. Although, he hadn't yet lost an SG team to that malfunction, he recalled the sound of reintegrating matter as it collided with the trinium/titanium alloy that was the iris. He had had more than a few restless nights while that sound replayed in his mind.

"Receiving SG-1's IDC code, Sir." Sergeant Davis reported.

"Open the iris."

Just a few more seconds and the flagship team stepped through the event horizon and safely back to base. He breathed a small sigh of relief as he saw all members of the team present and accounted for. It was a routine that was repeated with every team, unless he was occupied and the duty fell to his 2IC, Colonel Jack O'Neill. As he quickly made his way to the Gate room, he wondered, as he often did since taking command of the SGC, just how much more of this he could take.

~~~*~~~

After stepping back into the Gate room, Jack looked around, making sure his team had arrived safely ahead of him and waited for the familiar sound of the SGC's head honcho. He never had to wait long.

"Welcome back, SG-1. Report."

"Well, Sir, there wasn't anything but..."

"Trees, General. Lot's and lot's of trees." Daniel Jackson interrupted, finishing Jack's thought, which earned him a look from his friend.

Major Samantha Carter bit her lip to keep the grin back but Daniel smiled outright, at least having the decency to look a little sheepish. Teal'c's only response to the comment was a lifted brow, which, for anyone who knew him, was as good as a grin.

And Jack O'Neill knew him.

"I say that a lot, do I?" he said, raising his brow at the Jaffa, hoping to intimidate him.

"Indeed," was Teal'c's only reply.

"Anyway, " Jack said, returning his attention to the General, "It was all routine. Carter got her dirt, Daniel got his rocks and Teal'c and I got some sun...well, I got some sun, anyway," Jack amended, casting a glance at his dark friend.

"Very well. Head to the infirmary and let Dr. Frasier look you over. We'll debrief in half an hour. Dismissed."

With a casual, "Thank you, Sir," tossed over his shoulder Jack and the team made for the infirmary and the dreaded after-mission once over with ole Doc Frasier. He had a spring in his step that even a trip to visit the petite Doctor, with all her needles, couldn't squash.

SG-1 was due some down time and he had convinced his teammates to come to his house for a weekend barbeque, "to celebrate" he had said. In traditional Jack fashion, just what they were going to be celebrating he had neglected to tell them, but he managed to get them all to agree. That just left Janet and Cassie. Piece of cake.

~~~*~~~

Thirty minutes and a few needle marks later, Jack entered the briefing room with a triumphant expression on his face. Sam had told him that Janet had mentioned she and Cassie were busy this weekend, and the Colonel had bet he could convince them to drop what they had planned to join the gang.

Sam had long been aware of the Colonel's ability to charm people when he really wanted to, so she refused the bet. Good thing too, judging by his expression. It only took one look for her to know that the Colonel had somehow convinced Janet and her teenaged daughter to join them for this impromptu sleepover.

Before she could ask him about it, though, General Hammond walked in and the briefing began. It ran pretty much like every briefing, with the Colonel barely listening while Daniel went on about his latest find and Sam explaining about the tests she'd like to do on the samples she'd collected. Teal'c, as always, was perfectly stoic, and in no time the briefing was over and the General was ordering them to "get out of here" and enjoy their down time.

~~~*~~~

The team had been off-world for three days and had stayed on base the night before so they could get an early start, so both Daniel and Carter said they needed to go home and sort through the usual before they headed over.

Jack and Teal'c were the first to be ready to leave but, knowing their colleagues, Jack refused to go until the other two were headed out. On more than one occasion, the two had gotten caught up in something "fascinating" as they were leaving and lost track of time, and Jack was determined that wouldn't happen today.

As they all boarded the elevator, Jack snuck a glance at Carter. She was talking enthusiastically about the ruins and some "configuration of something-or-other" to Daniel, who appeared engrossed, apparently having missed it due to his single-minded attention to the inscriptions. They were about 12 levels up when she finally took a breath long enough for Jack to inject a "We're on downtime, Carter," to shut her up.

Not that he hadn't enjoyed the sparkle he had caught from the corner of his eye. In fact, he often let her go on just to see that look, but today he wanted to forget about the SGC, and focus on the event he was celebrating.

"Sorry, Sir. It's just so interesting."

Yeah, that was just another Carter word for "fascinating."

"Well, then, it'll still be 'interesting' on Monday, dontcha think?" he teased.

She smiled a little and nodded a "Yes, sir," and the elevator fell quiet.

"So, Jack," Daniel said, "Did you get a new grill or something?"

A new grill? "What? No. Why?"

"Just wondering...you know...about the barbeque."

Jack didn't miss the grin on Carter's face, as brief as it was, and though he wanted to smile back he tried to put forth an expression of hurt.

"Can't a guy invite some friends from work over for a barbeque, just because?" trying to manage innocence.

"Jack, you were pretty insistent that it be *this* weekend. I'm just wondering why?"

"Let's just say I'm celebrating something," he tossed out as the elevator opened and he strode out.

"What?" both Carter and Daniel said together, but they were talking to his retreating back and he didn't respond.

"Teal'c?" Daniel turned, hoping he could answer the question.

Teal'c lifted an eyebrow and said, "O'Neill has not spoken to me of this," and left them, following Jack.

Sam just laughed and told him that if the Colonel wanted them to know, he'd tell them. And, besides, wasn't it a wonderful day for a barbeque. Then she was jogging to find her car.

~~~*~~~

It wasn't as if Sam didn't want to know what the Colonel's whole "celebration" thing was about. She just knew that if he didn't want her to know, she wouldn't know. And really, did it matter? She was getting to spend the entire weekend with many of the people that mattered most to her. If, during that weekend, she got to see the Colonel outside of work, at ease and grilling steak for her...eh...them, well then, she certainly wasn't complaining.

But first she had to put her house in order. Every time they went off world for any length of time, sorting mail and cleaning house had to be dealt with when they got back. After more than 5 years at the SGC, it was a routine she was used to.

So, less than an hour later, her chores done, she was contemplating what to bring. He had said it was a weekend thing, but that could mean that the festivities would resume on Saturday morning after they had recovered from Friday night. She didn't want to be any later that she had to, so she just decided to call and ask.

He answered on the first ring, "Hey, Carter, don't tell me you're not coming," he growled into the phone.

"Sir, how did you--"

"Caller id, Carter."

"Oh, right. Well, I was just calling to ask if there was anything I needed to bring." She heard him huff, as if he'd been holding his breath.

"Just you," he said. Then added, "And whatever you'll need for the weekend."

A real and true sleepover! "Ok, then. I'll be on my way in 15." She mentally shook herself as she hung up. "Down girl! It's not as if you and the team haven't crashed at each other's places before. You camp out with the guys every time you're off-world, for crying out loud!" **Uh-oh. Was that just a Jack-ism? Maybe you should...Maybe you should just shut up!** she yelled at the little voice in her head. **I'm going.** And with that she quickly started packing her overnight bag.

~~~*~~~

Jack shook off the dread that had gripped him when he saw Carter's name pop up on his caller id. He knew that, in the line of work they did, they could get a call at any time but he was hoping that he would have enough luck left to get through this one weekend. It wouldn't kill him if they got called in for duty, but it would seriously irritate him.

He turned back to the task at hand. Steak marinating, check. Potato salad, made from his grandmother's recipe, check. Corn on the cob, shucked and ready to grill, check. Salad, with all those weird lettuces, check. Beer, check. Diet soda, check. **Yeah, yeah, diet soda. Hey, Carter likes the taste of it.** Veggies and dip, chopped and ready to go, check.

And the piece d'resistance, the most decadent chocolate cake he had ever tasted. A slow smile spread over his lips as he imagined the look on her face when she bit into this little confection.

**Whoa! Down boy!**

"O'Neill," Teal'c said from the doorway to the kitchen. "Is there any other way I may be of assistance?"

"Uh, no. Thanks for cutting the veggies. Why don't you grab some juice and watch the game, while I get myself cleaned up?"

The Jaffa nodded and Jack almost let him go, but there really would be hell to pay.

"Um, T?"

Teal'c turned and raised an eyebrow in question.

"You're, um, probably gonna want to take that apron off before anyone gets here."

Teal'c looked down at the "Kiss the Cook" apron he had on.

"Is there not still 'grilling' to do?"

"Well, yeah."

"And does not this garment protect ones clothes from spills, as you have said?"

"Y-yeah."

"Then I should remain as I am until the cooking is done."

Jack was going to argue but decided he'd tried and left to get changed before the others got there. "Just listen for the door, would ya?" he called over his shoulder.

~~~*~~~

Jack was still deciding what to wear fifteen minutes later. He wasn't a vain guy and really couldn't understand his indecision. Hell, a shirt was a shirt. **But, I guess, not today.** He kept coming back to his yellow "World Alpine Ski" shirt.

He clearly remembered the last time he'd worn it.

George **he had called him George** had asked, "Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?"

Jack had mumbled something but his mind was most definitely on something else, and just 5 seconds later he'd had his lips on Carter's and her body pressed against him. The memory still had the ability to take his breath away.

It wasn't just the fact that he kissed her, **although, Carter...Hot...duh!** it was the fact that Carter, his Major, given just seconds to react, had kissed him back!

He sometimes wished he had gone the next loop and done it over again, giving them more time, but he hadn't wanted to push his luck. As it was, if Carter ever found out about that kiss, he'd "have some 'splaining to do".

Yeah, he knew what Daniel had said about everything resetting itself after the loop and all, but, sometimes, when he came across this shirt, even after a year, he could almost smell her on it.

**Huh! Get a grip, O'Neill!**

**Oh, what the hell! It was his party - he'd wear the damn thing, if he wanted to!** And he yanked it on just as the doorbell rang.

~~~*~~~

The first thing Jack saw when he came out of his bedroom was Teal'c standing in the open door, kissing Doc Frasier. The next thing he knew he had an armful of squealing teenager.

"Colonel Jack!" Cassie exclaimed, then lowered her voice, "I couldn't resist," as she nodded her head toward the now blushing doctor and the decidedly uncomfortable looking Jaffa.

Cassie bounded over to Teal'c, placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, grabbed the bags that he had obviously forgotten he held, and then rushed into the kitchen.

That kid never did anything halfway!

The expression on Teal'c's face was almost too much to bear. Jack had to draw on years of hard earned control to keep himself from bursting out laughing. The combination of knowing that Doc Frasier was in charge of all after mission physicals and that Teal'c could probably snap him in half given the proper motivation, helped...a little. Just barely.

"Janet," Jack said. "Glad you could make it."

He was sure she could see the teasing mood he was in because even with her cheeks burning she managed to look him up and down and get out a "What? No apron for you, Colonel?" before she bolted after Cassie in to the kitchen.

"O'Neill, perhaps I should--" Teal'c began, moving his hands to the strings at his back. The doorbell ringing interrupted him.

The door opened from the outside, and Carter stuck her head around it with a "Hello?" before her eyes came to rest on them. "Oh, hi! Am I the first one here?"

"No, Major Carter. Doctor Frasier and her daughter are both here. In the kitchen," Teal'c replied tightly before Jack could respond.

The strange tone must have gotten her attention because she looked him up and down and before either of them could say a word, she was through the door and planting a kiss on Teal'c.

"Nice apron," was all she said. Then she was past them and in the kitchen.

It was a struggle, but Jack just gave a grin and raised his eyebrows.

"Uhem...I tried to warn you, T."

As Teal'c tried to untie the strings of the apron, Jack snorted, "A little late for that, dontcha think?"

Teal'c replied with wide eyes, "Daniel Jackson has not yet arrived."

Honestly, the big man looked pale. Ha!

"Somebody mention my name?" Daniel asked peering around the door Carter had left open. "Hey, nice apron."

Jack couldn't help it. He had to laugh when Teal'c retreated a couple of steps. It wasn't nearly as loud or as long as he would have liked but a look from Teal'c had him raising his hands and swallowing his mirth.

"What'd I do?" Daniel said.

Chuckling, Jack said, "Nothing, Danny Boy. The rest of the gang is in the kitchen. We'll be grilling in a few minutes, so don't disappear."

"Hey, Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"Any chance you got more of those aprons?"

~~~*~~~

Everyone piled onto Jack's deck, and while the guys grilled, the group laughed and talked. Jack looked around and, for awhile, just soaked it all it. This was the reason they risked their lives every day.

Freedom to barbeque.

Well, that, along with friendship, family...and love. He loved everyone here, though he'd deny it if they ever thought to ask. Can't have people thinking he'd gone soft.

And speaking of soft.

His eyes settled on Sam. God, she was beautiful. How he went days at a time without remembering that was a wonder to him. Of course, she was usually wearing fatigues and rambling on about...quarks...or something, instead of laughing at a joke while the breeze played with the hem of her flowered dress.

He was both pleased and annoyed at the way she was responding to Daniel, and even Teal'c. Pleased, because it was nice to see her so relaxed and at ease; annoyed, because she was never like that with him.

Well, that wasn't exactly true.

She had been that way with him once, but she had had to have her memory wiped to get it to happen. He remembered with a smug smile, how she had stayed close to him, shutting Daniel **well, Karlan** out and leaving an opening for his friendship with that 'peach', Kegan.

"We gonna eat anytime soon, Colonel Jack?" Cassie asked, interrupting both his view and his train of thought.

"Yeah, yeah, Kid. You teenagers. Always hungry."

And then Sam was there. "Me too, Sir. Anything I can do to help?"

"Just plates. The food is ready."

"You're pretty good with a grill, Sir."

"I have a lot of talents, Major," he said, and waggled his eyebrows.

Sam laughed. "Right, Sir."

They dished out the food and, since it was such a beautiful day, they set the table on the deck and everyone settled down to eat and talk. Cassie entertained them with a story about a girl from school who had had a very naughty dream about one of her teachers while sitting right beside him on the bus during a fieldtrip. Apparently, the girl had talked in her sleep.

He was laughing over the whole thing when he caught Carter's sidelong glance and the blush moving over her face. **Well! You don't think...? Nah!** Still, she was looking very flushed and managed to avoid looking at him while she focused on her corn on the cob.

He watched as she meticulously buttered and salted it, covering every square inch. She picked it up and bit into it causing butter to run down her chin and fingers and then it was his turn to color and look away as she licked her fingers. Fortunately for him, he hid his color better than her or he'd be answering some pretty difficult-

"Jack?" Daniel said.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

Nonchalance. That was the way to go here. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you haven't even touched your steak."

"All in good time, Daniel, all in good time. I need another beer. Want one?" And he was off to the kitchen.

~~~*~~~

When everyone had eaten their fill and the dishes were cleared they all went for a walk. The sun was setting and the atmosphere of the group was relaxed and playful. Cassie even managed to get Teal'c on a swing when they passed a park in the neighborhood. She really was incorrigible, and Jack was amused to find that Teal'c couldn't say no to her. **Good thing the big guy only had a son; a daughter would have wrapped him around her little finger.**

As they headed back to his place, Sam fell into step with him. **Like so many times on missions.** They walked in silence for a while, just enjoying the company.

"Enjoying your little 'celebration', Sir?" she asked, finally.

"As a matter of fact, I am. But we have to hurry now."

"Why?'

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, trying to give her his best **well, duh!** expression. "Because...the Simpson's are on in 10 minutes!"

"Ah. I see," she said, nodding. "I think this is where the ladie go off somewhere quiet for a little 'girl talk'."

"What? No Simpson's for you?" he said in mock horror.

"No thanks," she replied with a laugh

"Fine," he said petulantly, "Who needs you? I still have Teal'c, Daniel and Cassie."

"Uh-uh, Colonel Jack. Last time I checked I was a girl, too," Cassie called from behind them.

"Well, fine. The Simpson's would probably be wasted on you anyway!" he tossed over his shoulder.

"Besides, I've already seen this one," Cassie shot back.

He turned to look at her. "Yeah? Which one is it?"

"You know, when Side Show Bob tries to-"

"--kill Krusty the clown?! Aw, classic! You sure you want to pass this up?"

"Hey, it's a female bonding thing. Don't argue with it."

"Smart ass," he muttered, and had everyone except Teal'c laughing.

~~~*~~~

The Simpson's had been over for a while and the girls still hadn't emerged from their 'bonding' so the guys decided to sit out under the stars. Daniel had been sent to the kitchen on the latest drink run, which left Jack alone with Teal'c. His alien friend obviously had something on his mind. After a few minutes, Teal'c spoke.

"Have you not told Major Carter what this celebration is for, O'Neill?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, T," he said, trying to hide his smirk by taking the last swig of his beer.

Before Teal'c could do more than raise an eyebrow, Daniel came bustling out.

"Hey, guys! You're not gonna believe this but Janet brought work."

"What?" Daniel was right; Jack couldn't believe it. **It was a barbeque, for crying out loud.**

"Yeah. Apparently, she and Sam have been working on some neuro-pathways research. It's actually quite fascinating."

**There was that word again. Blah, blah, blah. Hey, at least it got Teal'c off the subject of my little "celebration"** so Jack let Daniel ramble on. He wasn't really paying attention, though he did catch a bit about "victims of accidents" and "amnesia" but it wasn't until Daniel mentioned Anise that Jack actually started to focus.

"Hang on, Danny. Say that again."

"I said, Janet asked Anise if she could borrow a Tok'ra memory device."

That had certainly gotten his attention - 100%.

"Anise? Jeez, what the heck for? I thought Doc hated that snake head!" Jack exclaimed, starting to get a bad feeling. Anything that involved Anise had 'trouble' written all over it.

"Oh, well, Janet's theory is that once a memory is imprinted on a mind it alters the neuro-pathways. She thinks that once they're established you can't really erase them. Which is why it's so fascinating. She has all of the SGC to experiment on."

Jack's high mood took a dive. When he looked over at Teal'c he was even more alarmed. The big Jaffa who usually wore an unruffled expression was looking quite...well...ruffled.

"What?" Jack finally managed.

"Well, you know. The time loop. She thinks we might be able to access those memories, even though they were erased. She thinks there might be an echo or something," Daniel went on, oblivious to their discomfort. "Anise only just got permission to loan us the memory device, so Sam volunteered to be first. For some reason, she kinda wants to know what happened during all those loops."

Daniel finally stopped talking and looked at him.

"Jack? Are you all right? You look a little green."

But Jack didn't answer. He was remembering that day in the Commissary and the smirk he gave Carter when Daniel brought up the subject of 'no consequences' over a bowl of oatmeal.

**Oh crap!**

"Uh, Daniel?" Jack said when he could manage.

"Yeah, Jack?"

"When is Frasier supposed to be starting this little experiment?"

"Oh, I thought I told you. She and Sam have been working on it for the last hour."

**What?! Female bonding, my ass!** Jack had felt a little put out when Janet, Sam and Cassie wanted to go off for some "girl talk" instead of watching the Simpson's with them. But this...this was no "girl talk". He exchanged a look with Teal'c who acknowledged it with a slight nod and they moved quickly into the house.

"Jack? Teal'c?" Daniel called, but they were already gone.

~~~*~~~

Jack and Teal'c conducted a room-by-room search but it was Jack that eventually found the "girls" sitting in a circle on the floor in his study.

"What the hell is going on in here?" he demanded as he threw open the door.

They jumped and turned three guilty faces toward him.

"Daniel said you brought a Tok'ra memory device," Jack snapped, "Here? Off base? Are you crazy?"

Janet and Sam were on their feet in a flash and stood to attention. Even out of their uniforms they knew a command tone when they heard it. Sam drew a breath but before she could utter a word Cassie was throwing herself at Jack.

"It's my fault Colonel Jack, I swear. Please don't get them in trouble. I read Mom's journal about the devices and when she mentioned how you could use them to relive your memories I begged her to let me use one. It's been so long...I just wanted to touch my family one more time, Colonel Jack. I forced them to do it."

Jack wasn't made of stone. He'd been on the receiving end of a manipulative Cassie but this was too much. "Oh, yeah. Then how come it's Carter wearing the thing?"

"She wouldn't let me do it until I knew what I was getting in to," she said, looking at her feet.

"Cassie, go on out there and sit with Daniel, please," Janet said softly.

"But, Mom!"

"Cassie. I'll explain this to the Colonel," she said, catching her daughter's eyes. "It'll be all right. Please."

Cassie threw one nervous glance over her shoulder at Jack and then left. Which left him with two very irate looking subordinates. **Wait just a minute here! He wasn't the one who broke protocol to bring classified alien technology off the base as a party game!**

"Ok, so explain," he snapped.

"Sir, I have been authorized by General Hammond to be in possession of the technology," she stated, continuing on when he opened his mouth to interrupt. "Proper security procedures have been followed to ensure the safety of this technology."

"I would've had to authorize--"

"You did!" she snapped back. "I explained that Cassie and I had this set up for this weekend. You told me to bring it with me!"

**Damn!** He remembered her putting up a little resistance to joining them this weekend. It had had something to do with Cassie, but he hadn't really been listening because he'd been so focused on persuading her to come.

Jack sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I...I'm gonna go talk to Cassie." He paused in the doorway, without turning back. "I'm sorry," he said softly and then he was gone.

~~~*~~~

Janet and Sam stood staring after him.

"I guess you were right," Sam said after a pause.

"Yeah. He's definitely hiding something." Janet said, and a smug smile appeared. "You owe me 20 bucks."

~~~*~~~

While Jack was having his heart-to-heart with Cassie, Sam and Janet decided to put the experiment on hold. No sense ruining the entire weekend. Janet had the device packed and ready for Jack's little home safe by the time he approached them.

"Look--" Jack began

"Forget it, Colonel. It was just a misunderstanding. If Cassie's okay, I'm okay. Let's just enjoy the barbeque," Janet said, obviously taking pity on him. "I'm sure it makes for a nice change of pace, you know, not having Jaffa shooting at you and all."

Jack gave a half grin and muttered, "Might prefer a squadron of Jaffa to a pissed off CMO."

Both Janet and Sam laughed and just like that, the tension was gone. A couple of minutes later Janet excused herself to check on Cassie, and Jack and Sam were left alone.

Jack, brandishing the item that had caused all the trouble, said, "I gotta get this thing in the safe." He turned to go, but then stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Wanna come?"

Sam grinned. "Sure," and Jack led her back to his study.

As he went to open the small safe sunk into the floor of the closet, Sam took the opportunity to really look around. When Janet had led Cassie and Sam back here earlier, she had been too nervous to give it more than a brief glance. She knew that the Colonel would not like having work intrude on their down time.

Especially since, for some reason, this weekend seemed so special to him.

She had felt guilty about it, but Janet said it could possibly answer some questions she had had about that time loop and she just couldn't pass it up.

Something about the way the Colonel had looked at her, both in the briefing room before they left to confront Malachi, and then again, in the Commissary the next morning just wouldn't let her be.

When she thought about what Daniel had been talking to him about, the whole 'no consequences' thing, and added to it, those two looks, her mind conjured up a couple of plausible scenarios.

And if the real scenario was anything like the ones she'd been entertaining, she *really* wanted that memory back.

So, here she was, in Jack's **she could call him that - she was off-duty!** study. He kept things a little sparse, not surprising for a career soldier, not to mention a guy, but he did have a number of photos about. She spotted one of Charlie in his baseball uniform, and another of Jack fishing **at the cabin?** and another of a group of soldiers. She couldn't tell where they were but the background looked like a jungle. She examined it closely and saw a much younger Jack O'Neill looking mighty fine in camouflage.

"Vietnam," he said softly.

He was so close his breath tickled the side of her neck. She didn't jump, but it was a near thing. How'd he get so close without her realizing? Usually she had a sixth sense when it came to him.

He didn't seem affected by their proximity but her heart was thundering away. She controlled her breathing by sheer force of will. Well, she had wanted to spend this weekend with him, without work weighing on them.

She just never thought she'd be alone with him...

So close...

Without someone shooting at her...

And with nothing to distract her.

"That was taken a couple of weeks before the fall of Saigon," he murmured, sounding lost in thought.

The Fall of Saigon. She remembered it. Sure, she was a kid, but she was a military kid. She remembered her and her mom had gone off base to do some grocery shopping and they were leaving the store with the bags. A soldier in uniform was walking out in front of them and as he passed out of the double doors and into the open air an old woman turned and spat on him. She called him a "baby killer" and marched off, leaving all three stunned. She remembered her mom stopped the man by putting her hand on his arm as he made to walk away. He had turned, prepared for another attack, but she had used her own sleeve to wipe his face. She said only two words, "Thank you," but Sam was sure he had understood all the unsaid things. Thank you for protecting us; thank you for your sacrifice; thank you for your honor.

Public sentiment on the armed forces had changed a lot since then, but Jack O'Neill had probably been through it all. And he was still fighting the good fight.

She didn't want to dispel this moment just yet so she kept her voice low. "You must have a lot of memories, Sir."

"They're not all bad, Carter." And she realized he was no longer looking at the picture, but looking at her. His gaze nearly took her breath away. All of a sudden, she was a lot warmer.

"Um..." was all she got out before Jack reached around her. She hoped that all the practice she'd had hiding her feelings over the years was enough to cover her disappointment when he gently took the photo and placed it back on his desk.

"Kitchen, Carter," he ordered.

"Kitchen, Sir?"

"It's time to go to the kitchen. I have a surprise," and with that he turned and strode out, forcing her to jog to catch up.

~~~*~~~

The surprise turned out to be sin on a plate. When Jack turned to her with an unopened bakery box and a look like the Cheshire Cat, she should have known. But his smile was so very hard to resist and she found herself smiling back, albeit warily.

"What's that, Sir?"

"Oh, no. Not yet. Coffee first," and he turned and hit the switch on the machine. In just a few seconds the aroma was filling the kitchen.

"Is that-"

"Daniel's special blend, yeah," he smirked. "Now close your eyes."

"Sir?"

"Carter. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Sir, but-"

"No. No buts. Just close your eyes." When she still hesitated he said, "I promise, you will not regret it."

She looked at him sideways but finally did as he asked. And there she stood, in his kitchen, alone with the Colonel **Jack** with her eyes closed. She heard a few noises and almost opened her eyes but the Colonel's "Keep your eyes closed, Carter," stopped her. **Man, he knew her!**

Then the noises stopped. She was just about to say something when the rich and sinful smell of chocolate tickled her nose and from right in front of her came a soft, "Open your mouth." She did as he asked and she felt him slide a forkful of some indescribable delicacy into her mouth.

**Oh...My...God!**

~~~*~~~

**Holy Shit!** He had wanted to see her expression but...**Holy Shit!** He knew she would love it; after all, it was his experience with this particular dessert that convinced him to pick it up for the barbeque. But he had not expected the almost erotic way she had reacted to him feeding her a piece. The way her head tipped back, exposing the pale column of her neck. Or the low groan she didn't seem to realize she'd voiced.

Distance. He needed a little bit of distance.

As he took a small step back, trying to control his breathing, Cassie came bounding in, took one look around and yelled, "Hey, there's chocolate cake!"

Daniel was right behind her, "And coffee! Bless you, Jack. That IS my blend, right?"

Jack just nodded, trying to ignore the blush stained cheeks of his 2IC, and started busying himself with dessert forks and plates.

**Whew! Ho-ly Shit.**

~~~*~~~

After dessert there was a heated game of Monopoly with a Jack twist. The only Monopoly he had was Simpson's Monopoly. So they played for the honor of purchasing as much of Springfield as they could. It was really pretty amusing when Teal'c won.

By then, Cassie had fallen asleep and everyone else seem pretty knocked out as well, so they decided to call it a night and the house had long since fallen silent.

While the others slept, Jack stood leaning against the railing of the deck, his gaze fixed on the stars. It had been a good day, though, for some reason, not as satisfying as he had hoped. He knew what the reason was. It was simple really. He was the only one celebrating this little 'anniversary' of his. There should have been another.

As if his thoughts had brought her, Sam appeared at the door. She wore a long Air Force t-shirt and some baggy sweats, but she was still beautiful in his eyes.

"Hey," she said softly, as she settled at the railing, next to him. "Couldn't sleep either?"

"Nah. Just unwinding," he said, trying to keep it casual.

"It was a great barbeque, Sir."

**Sir.** Sometimes he hated that word.

"Are you alright, Sir?" she asked, sounding a little concerned.

"Carter, could ya knock it off with the 'sir', just for tonight?" He was tired of it and he was sure that he sounded tired of it.

"Okaaay. What should I call you then?"

"How about Jack?"

"Well, gee, I don't know if I can do that when neither one of us is in danger of dying, Sir," she joked softly.

He had to laugh. "Just give it a try. Here, I'll start. Thanks for coming...Sam," he said, emphasizing her name.

Her smile was slow and spectacular. "Thanks for inviting me...Jack."

**There it was! Who knew it would be such a punch in the gut?** He needed to think about something else, so he said the first thing that came to him.

"So, did the memory thing work?"

**D'oh!**

"No. I can remember the one loop, obviously because it was the last one, but that's it."

She sounded disappointed. Maybe even a little bit frustrated.

"Whaddaya wanna remember about that anyway? It all worked out in the end," he said, but he kept his eyes on the stars.

Even with his eyes heaven-word he could see her in his peripheral vision, examining him. When she responded, she looked up at the stars too.

"Janet's research can really help with accident victims. If she can prove-"

"That's not what I asked. I asked what *you* wanted to remember," turning to look at her.

She sighed, and seemed to be reluctant to answer, "I don't know."

But his raised eyebrows must have clearly said he didn't believe that because she mumbled something he thought sounded like "that look" and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"What was that?"

She was embarrassed, he could tell. It may have been too dark to see a blush but he would have bet a week's wages that she was a pretty shade of pink.

"I said I wouldn't have cared except for that 'look' you gave me."

"What 'look'?" he asked, all innocence.

"You know what look!" she laughed, nudging him lightly with her elbow. "The 'look'... in the Commissary. When Daniel asked about what you did that wouldn't have consequences."

"Ohhhh," he said, "*that* 'look'. And you think it has something to do with you, huh?" he teased.

"Well," she said uncertainly, "doesn't it?"

He grinned. The thought crossed his mind that if he really wanted to share this anniversary with someone, there was a device in his house that might just make it possible.

Probably not a good idea.

No, definitely not a good idea.

But Jack O'Neill lived on the edge most of the time. He'd take the risk for Sam.

"Wait there." And he strode into the house.

~~~*~~~

As she waited for the Colonel, Sam gazed at the stars. She was still amazed by them. There was so much out there that even she hadn't dreamed of, and she had been dreaming about the stars since she was a child.

The work she did was important; she truly believed that. She had to because she'd given up a lot for it. But she'd also gotten a lot because of it. The Stargate program was the reason her father was still alive. She had met Janet through the project and Cassie, the nearest thing she had to a daughter. Daniel and Teal'c, two men that were like brothers, were a part of her life because of it.

And the Colonel.

What could she say about the Colonel? She loved him. That, in itself, was a small miracle. There was a time when she thought she couldn't love anyone, shouldn't love anyone, because of her fear of losing them. And, let's face it, with her track record people could hardly blame her.

But her feelings for the Colonel didn't listen to her head. They did whatever they wanted and she was helpless to stop them.

Loving him wasn't allowed.

Loving him wasn't easy.

But loving him felt right, and, in difficult times, when she came to the end of herself, she could reach down into that well of feeling and draw strength from it. She'd used it to save the base from Hathor, to rescue him and Teal'c as they hurtled through deep space, to get to him when he'd been trapped on Edora - all those and dozens more.

There were times, however, that it wasn't enough. She wanted to know how he felt about her. Sure, she knew from the za'tarc testing that he cared for her 'more than he was supposed to'...ok, *a lot* more than he was supposed to but what did that mean, really?

They were always doing this dance. She'd be going along just fine and then, *bam!*, something would happen that got her thinking about him in a very unmilitary way.

And the scenarios she could come up with! Jeez! She had had more than her share of cold showers over the past 5 years, that was for sure.

Some days she felt certain that if she could just resolve some of this sexual tension she could put her feelings for him in the proper box, until such time as they were appropriate and could be explored. But they had both made commitments to serve and part of that was to abide by the regulations.

It was a matter of honor for both of them.

Which brought her back to Janet's little memory project. Something had happened during those loops, she was sure of it. And because the something would have been undone once the loop reset itself, the Colonel's honor would still be intact. She hadn't had that window of opportunity. And she couldn't help thinking that it wasn't fair.

"Whatcha thinking?"

"Sir!" She had nearly jumped out of her skin. "I didn't hear you."

Ya-don't-say, his expression said.

"Where did you disappear to?" she managed, ignoring his question.

"I had to get something." His dark eyes fixed her with a look that had her heart stuttering in her chest. "I was thinking about that time we went to Hell."

Sam swallowed. "Netu, Sir?"

"Yeah. On the teltac, you were supposed to be doing your whole 'Jolinar's memories' thing but you were having a hard time of it."

Sam nodded. She remembered being lost in her own memories, feeling like she would never be able to find what they needed. Then Martouf had sat next to her and reminded her of how he and Jolinar had watched the sunset. That simple statement had unlocked the memories for her.

"Sir?"

"Carter, I'm gonna do this for you on one condition," he said, sounding exasperated. "No more 'Sir' tonight."

She smiled. "Okay...Jack."

"You're sure you want to go through with this?"

She nodded. **Oh yeah.**

He lifted the box that she hadn't noticed he was carrying and opened it, bringing out the memory device and setting the empty box on a chair. Then he stepped closer.

"Remember, this stings a bit," he warned. And he gently clasped her chin with his right hand, steadying her head as he pressed the device in his left hand to her right temple. She closed her eyes at the pain and wrinkled her nose to keep from hissing. She felt his fingers caressing her temple, soothing the pain away, and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face.

"Okay?" he asked softly.

She was just about to say yes when she was flung back in time. She had done this enough times that she should have been prepared but she still cried out an "Oh God" when she found herself back in their old kitchen, baking cookies.

**Oh God, not again. Not this memory again. Please.**

She felt strong arms come around her and his voice was saying, "Stay with me, Sam. The planet was designated P4X 639. The sun was giving off solar flares and you wanted to go to the planet and set up a remote observatory."

As he continued to murmur in her ear she began to see the memory take shape. Yes. She was in the briefing room with Daniel, Teal'c, Colonel O'Neill and General Hammond. The Colonel was saying how they had all been through this day before many times and Teal'c was agreeing. She remembered how stunned she had been when he had started talking about coronal mass emissions and geomagnetic storms, not to mention subspace fields and time inversions. They had run off, dragging Daniel behind them and before long they were back with a full translation of the text on the ruins. Then it was time to gear up and head off to the planet to confront Malachi.

"Wait. Stop. These are all the memories I had before. There isn't anything different."

Somewhere along the way, he must have realized she was no longer lost in the old painful memories because he no longer held her. He stood close, though, watching her. Close enough to reach out to her if she needed him, but not touching her. She was sorry she had been too preoccupied with the memories to enjoy the contact.

"Maybe if you told me something that happened to me during one of the older loops..."

"You tried to dial the gate before the time loop was activated."

"Right, and it didn't work."

"You remember?"

"No," she sighed. "I remember you telling me it didn't." **Damn it!** "This isn't going to work, Sir."

He stepped closer, bringing their bodies within a breath of each other. "You promised to call me Jack."

She couldn't speak. If she just tilted her head up a little and leaned in their lips would be touching. His eyes, reflecting the moonlight, burned into hers. She saw him swallow and he whispered, "I resigned."

**FLASH**
// He walked into the control room wearing a black skullcap and a yellow shirt.
"Excuse me. George," he said, handing the General a piece of paper.
"Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?"
"Handing you my resignation," he said, looking at his watch.
"You're resigning? What for?" she said, starting to panic.
"So I can do...this." And he placed his hands on both sides of her face, pulling her into a mind-numbing kiss that nearly blew the top of her head clean off. Then he was dipping her, pressing her body against his and, God help her, she was wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back! For one brief moment the kiss stretched out. Then it was gone. And they were back in the Commissary. //
**FLASH**

**Oh God!**

~~~*~~~

He watched her, so close that the slightest movement might bring their bodies in contact. He saw it, when she remembered the kiss. He didn't know how many of those loops he had gone through and, frankly, he didn't care. What he did know was that today was exactly 365 days since he had, virus free, kissed Major Samantha Carter, and she had, virus free, kissed him back. He knew that because he had counted each and every one of them.

Her eyes were wide and, oh how he wanted to repeat that kiss! But the loop was broken and he hadn't resigned, damn it! So he watched her, waiting for her to speak. But she only stood there, watching him and taking rapid, shallow breaths.

"Say something."

For a moment her mouth moved but no sound came out. Then..."Jack," she whispered.

He smiled a slow smile, releasing the breath he'd been holding and reached out, gently bringing her head to rest on his shoulder. "Happy Anniversary, Sam."