Today, I read that Stephen Hawking is planning to address a major conference on astrophysics, in order to announce that he has determined that a part of his theory on the nature of black holes was wrong. To Dr. Hawking, this means he loses a bet he has had with a fellow astrophysicist, and he will have to buy the winner a new encyclopedia. But to the world of creationists, this announcement must mean something far more important.
In fact, it should mean that we now have incontrovertible proof that black holes can't possibly exist. And we should shortly expect several articles on creationist web sites announcing this fact to the world. Actually, I'm a little surprised that this hasn't happened already. After all, the very idea that a ball of gas could, by purely natural processes and without divine intervention collapse and become a microscopic point - the ultimate example of negative entropy -- should have been pointed out as impossible long ago. After all, it goes against the Highly Holy Second Law of Thermodynamics. I guess that must have been lost in the shuffle. Whatever.
But now that Hawking has announced publicly that his idea about the nature of black holes is wrong, it is obvious that using creationist logic, the entire theory must be thrown out. We can feel safe again, knowing that there never was anything such as a black hole. Man, we sure lucked out there.
Now, I don't want to hear any idiot sniveling on this! Sure, there may be some tiny bits of evidence lying around that could be interpreted as indicating the existence of black holes. But as all good creationists know, if a scientific theory has the slightest bit wrong about it, that must mean that it is completely false, and the Bible should take precedence. And since there's not a single mention of black holes anywhere between Genesis 1:1 and Revelation 22:21, that should settle the whole question.
I will be sure to write to the Institute of Creation Research, and let them know that I fully expect them to start their astronomers working on the problem at once. Surely, there is some other explanation that they can come up with to cover the information that those idiot atheistic astronomers have mistaken for evidence of black holes for so long. Besides, I'm sure that they can bear to pull one or two of them aside from their work of proving that the whole flippin' universe is fine-tuned exclusively for our benefit long enough to take this matter into consideration. Be sure to watch this space for further updates.
And remember! Every time any theory has some tiny part of it that is discovered to be wrong, you must toss the whole thing out and replace it either with whatever the Bible says on the subject or with nothing, if the Bible doesn't mention it. Long live the ICR!!