I have a little message to give to all fundamentalists of all religions who might happen to wander into my fun little corner of the web. Ready?
Yes, that's right. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels that way. You people are so bloody childish in your attitudes about religion that you make me ashamed to think that I share the same genetic heritage as you.
Christian fundamentalists. What a bunch of cretins. In America, you have worked at the old propaganda machinery for so long that you have gained political advantage, and for what? Your goals are to destroy all the wonders that people who think have brought into this world. You want to have all the children in this country taught that the universe -- something you have no hope of grasping with your tiny, burned-out, wasted minds -- was created in six days only a few thousand years ago, just for the purpose of supporting humans. What the hell are you idiots smoking?
If you want to turn back the clock, start living the way they did in the Bronze Age, when the Bible was written, be my guest. Just have the decency to not try dragging the rest of the world, and its children, down into your delerium with you. You can't force intelligent people to believe your silly little myth. You might as well learn how to deal with it.
Muslim fundamentalists. You people are nothing short of sick. What the hell is the matter with you? You spend all your time reading one book of poetry and you think you know all there is to know about the universe? You have no clue what it is to live as a real human being. And what the hell is this bullshit about killing people who don't think this prophet of yours is all that special? You think your god and your prophet are so small and weak they they need you to kill for them? You think that the tiniest lack of agreement with your narrow, archaic view of the world needs to be supported with swords and guns? You people make Europe's Dark Ages look positively cheerful and care-free.
You think women should be kept out of sight until you are ready to use them for yourselves? Disgusting and wasteful! There are even Muslim fundies who hate women so much that they will work to keep them from even knowing what it is like to be a sexual being. The depths of cruelty and barbarity are being plumbed by you ignorant, barbaric, useless creatures. You want to live like some parody of humanity? Fine -- go find some isolated valley, set up shop and chant your blood-soaked scriptures that you think are so fucking beautiful till you pass out from starvation. Just don't try to drag the world down with you. Is that asking too bloody much?
Jewish fundamentalists -- also known as "Ultra-Orthodox." You boggle the minds of rational human beings. I mean, have you lost your fucking minds? You're worse than the Amish, trying to live by a set of rules that were barely OK for a bunch of sun-baked bronze-age near-savages 3000 years ago. Worried about whether you eat shellfish or get meat and milk mixed in the same meal? What the hell are you trying to prove? Maybe -- MAYBE -- those rules were useful to people waaay back then. In case you hadn't noticed, and I bet you haven't, this is the modern age, one in which nutritional need are determined scientifically, not by looking at some book with superstitious, ignorant, WORTHLESS guesses about what's good for you and what isn't.
Hell, some of you even have to have a fucking rabbi look over goddamn WATER FACILITIES to figure out whether the water is KOSHER! Shit! Tell you what. Go to fucking Sinai, find a mountain to talk with your *GAWD!* on and live by your idiot book of rules all you want. Don't waste the time of civilized, hard-working food industry workers, by asking them to satisfy your version of a shaman that they're making food that's holy enough for you. Don't go bothering civil servants who work to make sure water is safe for human consumption, asking them to worry about whether the water is ceremonially clean. Bunch of time- and effort-wasting morons.
All fundamentalists -- I don't care what version of this idiocy you have chosen... Mormon, Hindu, all the rest. It doesn't make any difference. You have chosen the wrong horse. But that's fine. In my ideal world, everyone is entitled to follow whatever brand of insanity they choose... PROVIDED they agree to one condition:
You follow that one request, and we'll get along just fine. I don't even want to force my beliefs on you. I won't ask you to believe that science can tell us anything about what is in the universe or how it works. I'll be sure to keep science and reason far away from you, to keep your tiny, religion-soaked brains from having to work too hard. I think. however, that you should be good enough to practice what you believe so strongly, though. I think you really ought to go the whole 9 yards. If you want to believe that the universe is 10,000 years old, I think you should live in a world as close as possible to the way it was before science discovered otherwise.
That would be what? 400, 500 years ago, I expect. I don't doubt you'll enjoy living the way True Believers did in say 1550. No computers or A/C. Certainly no antibiotics or other nice medicines based on a scientific theory about something you can't see with your eyes and is not mentioned in the Bible. No cars for you, no phones. Those are also products of evil scientific advances that came after we learned that the Bible ain't factual or "inerrant." If you're lucky, you might discover that some form of plumbing was available in those days. If not, you can always build an outhouse for yourself. You have fun with that. I expect I'll rather enjoy having access to modern scientific products and knowledge, because that's the way my view of the world goes.
