Jeremiah

Another large book of prophecy, Jeremiah is (in my humble opinion) rather dull. He is known as "the weeping prophet," because of his sorrow over the captivity of the Jewish people. The next book also has his name on it - Lamentations, but that's another page!

Jer 1:11-14 - The word of the LORD came to me, saying "Jeremiah, what do you see?" And I said, "I see a branch of an almond tree." Then the LORD said to me, "You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it." The word of the LORD came to me a second time, saying "What do you see?" And I said. "I see a boiling pot, tilted away from the north." Then the LORD said to me, "Out of the north disaster shall break out on all the inhabitants of the land."
According to this, it appears that about everything Jeremiah laid his eyes on was a sign from God. It's as if God was sitting around, waiting for him to look at the right thing. I think it's pretty odd that the second thing listed here was a pot, described as being tilted away from a particular direction. Maybe it's a cultural prejudice, but I would have thought if one were to describe the tilt of something, you'd describe the direction it was tilted toward. It seems rather contrived, to me. And it reminds me of the scene from Monty Python's "Life of Brian," where the religious zealots were trying to figure out the "meaning" of a gourd.

Jer 2:29,30 - Why do you complain against me? You have rebelled against me, says the LORD. In vain I have struck down your children; they accepted no correction. Your own sword devoured your prophets like a ravening lion.
This is sort of puzzling. God thinks that Israel has no reason to complain. To support his attitude, he states that he (apparently quite reasonably) killed the children. I think it's interesting that there is this statement about Israel killing prophets. I'll have to study this some, but I can recall reading in the histories few if any prophets being killed by Israel. There were quite a few stories of priests and enemy prophets getting supernatural punishments, but I can't recall any prophet getting killed by Hebrews.

Jer 3:2,3 - Look up to the bare heights and see! Where have you not been lain with? By the waysides you have sat waiting for lovers, like a nomad in the wilderness, you have polluted the land with your whoring and wickedness. Therefore the showers have been withheld, and the spring rain has not come; yet you have the forehead of a whore, you refuse to be ashamed.
Ah - where to begin with this? First, I wonder about all these hundreds of verses in the Bible calling the wandering Israelites "whores." All they were doing was leaving the bland religion of their parents in favor of religions that they found to be more interesting and satisfying. Second, this states that God reacted by resorting to starving the people - hardly a just response for such a powerful being - after all, such actions end up killing people - both the innocent (those who are faithful) as well as the guilty (the "whores"). Not an elegant weapon, this hydraulic despotism! Lastly, we get to the heart of the matter! The writer wanted everyone to feel ashamed of their choice of religions. This shows the human hand behind the religion. Having failed to keep adherents through the bare religion, they attempt to resort to psychological intimidation - fear and shame, the most potent of motivators they knew how to use.

Jer 3:19,20 - I thought how I would set you among my children, and give you a pleasant land, the most beautiful heritage of all the nations. And I thought you would call me, My Father, and would not turn from following me. Instead, as a faithless wife leaves her husband, so you have been faithless to me, O house of Israel, says the LORD.
This looks to me like an obvious admission of a lack of omniscience. God thought these people would follow him forever, and everything would be great! How could a being that knows everything possibly think such a thought? Also, isn't it odd how the metaphors are mixed here? First, God talks about being a beloved father; the next sentence (standard guilt trip fare) he becomes an abandoned husband. You'd think a good writer would be able to stick with one thought for at least two sentences at a time!

Jer 4:22 - For my people are foolish, they do not know me; they are stupid children, they have no understanding. They are skilled in doing evil, but do not know how to do good.
First of all I never accepted this sort of statement, so very common in the Bible, that non-believers are incapable of doing good. No one who is honest can accept that belief, in my opinion. Also, this is a terrible example to set for parents - how many children have heard these very words hurled at them by their parents?

Jer 5:22 - Do you not fear me? Says the LORD; do you not tremble before me? I placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, a perpetual barrier that it cannot pass; though the waves toss, they cannot prevail, though they roar, they cannot pass over it.
Well, here's a little fresh lunacy! In seeking to show God's all-powerful nature, the writer points to the shore, telling us it's proof of God's might, because it keeps the ocean from sweeping over all the land. Of course, we know that what keeps the water (rather imperfectly!) in its place is gravity. It also occurs to me that this verse would never have been written if the writer had ever seen a hurricane and its related storm surge. But of course, this would be quite an unlikely event in the small, cool Mediterranean basin.

Jer 7:21-23 - Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Add your burnt offerings to your sacrifices, and eat the flesh. For in the day that I brought your ancestors out of the land of Egypt, I did not speak to them or command them concerning burnt offerings and sacrifices. But this command I gave them, "Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people; and walk only in the way that I command you, so that it may be well with you."
Now, something major is wrong here. The books of Exodus, Leviticus and Deuteronomy are just filled with passages where God talked about burnt offerings, blood sacrifices, describing in detail when, where and how such ceremonies were to be performed. The choices here are interesting. Moses was a false prophet (according to the criteria set in Numbers), or Jeremiah is false. Of course, it could be that both were just making things up to impress the people, and neither were actually in contact with any supernatural being.

Jer 8:8 - How can you say, "We are wise, and the law of the LORD is with us," when, in fact, the false pen of the scribes has made it into a lie?
Remember, this is in the Bible! It is clearly saying that even in Jeremiah's day, the techniques used for copying the Hebrew scriptures were imperfect, and changes had been made. How reliable could those texts be now, after almost 3000 years?

Jer 8:14 - Why do we sit still? Gather together, let us go into the fortified cities and perish there; for the LORD our God has doomed us to perish, and has given us poisoned water to drink, because we have sinned against the LORD.
This is a typical sort of statement from the religious. When something bad happens to a community, whether it's a tornado, hurricane or even bad water coming from a the wells, it is because of God's displeasure with the lives of the people. This has been a proven method for keeping the people in fear of stepping out of line.

Jer 9:8 - Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceit through the mouth. They all speak friendly words to their neighbors, but inwardly are planning to lay an ambush.
This is the sort of thing you'd be likely to hear from a mentally ill person - specifically someone who is paranoid-delusional. How true do you think this is in describing the people who don't subscribe to your religion? Someone who is honest with herself would have to admit it's not very likely.

Jer 9:23,24 - Thus says the LORD: Do not let the wise boast in their wisdom, do not let the mighty boast in their might, do not let the wealthy boast in their wealth; but let those who boast boast in this, that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD; I act with steadfast love, justice and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the LORD.
First of all, this is a sentiment I have seen often in the Bible - that knowledge (among other things) is worth far less than being close to God. This attitude has caused many people I know personally to ignore learning things that are useful, in favor of studying the Bible. Then there's the second part of the passage - God telling us how good he is. Setting aside the issue of righteousness (which I expect believers will interpret as meaning doing what God wants, which is no big deal if God is omnipotent), let's look at the other attributes. First, there's justice. Can anyone call punishing thousands of people for the actions of one person just? This is what is written as being God's justice in several places - look in just about any OT history book I have pages for. What about love? The laws in the Torah show a high amount of approval of the free males in Jewish society, but deep contempt for all other sorts of people. Is this love? Can it lead to anything even remotely resembling love? I think not.

Jer 10:10-12 -
10:But the LORD is the true God; he is the living God and the everlasting King. At his wrath the earth quakes, and the nations cannot endure his indignation.

11: Thus shall you say to them: The gods who did not make the heavens and the earth shall perish from the earth and from under the heavens.

12:It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens.
I labeled each verse in this passage for a reason. According to my copy of the Bible, verse 11 is in Aramaic, not Hebrew as the rest of this book is. It looks like an inserted text, added much later than the earlier writing. This means that the text of Jeremiah was not kept with the fidelity we would expect, based on what the "inerrantists" tell us. Examine the passage! Verse 10 would flow much better into verse 12 if 11 wasn't there. Whoever added this text did so for his own reasons, no doubt, but he was not much of a writer, if he thought his addition would be undetectable.

Also, check out the actual statement made in this passage. It is pretty standard fare - God's wrath causing earthquakes (instead of any sort of natural causes) and the sky being a covering for a very small world.

Jer 13:23 - Can Ethiopians change their skin or leopards their spots? Then also you can do good who are accustomed to do evil.
Here's a pretty common saying, though I was previously unaware of the racist content of the origin. And it goes on to tell us that people are incapable of doing good things. Simple counterexamples can disprove this statement, but it keeps being taught and accepted by millions!

Jer 15:3,4 - And I will appoint over them four kinds of destroyers, says the LORD: the sword to kill, the dogs to drag away, and the birds of the air and the wild animals of the earth to devour and destroy. I will make them a horror to all the kingdoms of the earth because of what King Manasseh son of Hezekiah of Judah did in Jerusalem.
I want to pick a little nit here. It seems to me that we're looking at only two kinds of "destroyers" here - humans with swords, and animals to act as carrion eaters. Maybe it's just cultural prejudice in action, but there you have it. Also, we're getting back to that old-time religion we saw so much in the books of history. God promises punishment of an entire nation in response to one person's errors. At the least, one would have thought an omniscient deity would have anticipated whatever Manasseh did and cut him out of the loop before being forced to punish everyone.

Jer 17:11 - Like the partridge hatching what it did not lay, so are all who amass wealth unjustly; in mid-life it will leave them, and at their end they will prove to be fools.
One cannot deny the truth of the first part of this statement. However, the second part is patently false. How many "old money" fortunes exist today that were started by crooks and swindlers?

Jer 17:24,25 - But if you listen to me, says the LORD, and bring in no burden by the gates of this city on the sabbath day, but keep the sabbath day holy and do no work on it, then there shall enter by the gates of this city kings who sit on the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, they and their officials, the people of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem; and this city will be inhabited forever.
This is typical of the thinking of religious people, especially those who pine away for "the Good Old Days." They think that going back to just one or a few of the original practices, everything will just fall into place, and everything will be just fine. I also find it interesting that this promise involves multiple kings, sitting on David's throne, and not just one eternal king as Christians are expecting.

Jer 18:6-8 - Can I not do with you, O house of Israel, just as this potter has done? says the LORD. Just like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. At one moment I may declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, but if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will change my mind about the disaster that I intended to bring on it.
If you'll look in the book of Numbers, you'll find a passage that says God doesn't change. Here, we see God saying that he will allow the actions of mere humans to dictate whether he will destroy a nation!

Jer 18:19-21 - Give heed to me, O LORD, and listen to what my adversaries say! Is evil recompense for good? Yet they have dug a pit for my life. Remember how I stood before you to speak good for them, to turn away your wrath from them. Therefore, give their children over to famine; hurl them out to the power of the sword, let their wives become childless and widowed. May their men meet death by pestilence, their youths be slain by the sword in battle.
Yet another expression of love and compassion for people who disagree or don't believe. Jeremiah thinks his bad reception is justification for starving children to death and killing countless people by war and disease. What a nice, peaceable guy!

Jer 19:8,9 - And I will make this city a horror, a thing to be hissed at; everyone who passes by it will be horrified and will hiss because of all its disasters. And I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and all shall eat the flesh of their neighbors in the siege, and in the distress with which their enemies and those who seek their life afflict them.
More forced cannibalism? Maybe. In any event, the claim is made here that war is caused by God, in the course of extacting punishment of Jerusalem.

Jer 26:3 - It may be that they will listen, all of them, and turn from their evil way, that I may change my mind about the disaster that I intend to bring on them because of their evil doings.
This is most peculiar! God is uncertain about the reaction of the people to the message of Jeremiah! There are verses in Psalms that say that God has already set the course of history in advance! What's even more astounding is that God plans to change his mind, based on the actions of the people - but only if ALL the people repent. So if just 1 person doesn't get into line, God will proceed? Would this be justice?

Jer 29:32 - ...therefore, thus says the LORD: I am going to punish Shemaiah of Nehelam and his descendants; he shall not have anyone living among this people to see the good that I am going to do to my people, says the LORD, for he has spoken rebellion against the LORD.
Once again (and the list grows longer), we see the promise of a punishment of many people for the action done by one person. This was a primitive idea of what constituted justice, yet believers have no choice but to agree that it is true!

Jer 31:27,28 - The days are surely coming, says the LORD, when I will sow the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the seed of humans and the seed of animals. And just as I have watched over them to pluck up and break down, to overthrow, destroy and bring evil, so will I watch over them to build and to plant, says the LORD.
Considering the usual usage of the word "seed" when talking about human reproduction, I'm pretty sure this passage is very disgusting. But we also have this second sentence, saying that it was God who brought evil on his people. I think maybe this text was written before the people of Israel had discovered the very convenient idea of Satan - a second, separate god to attempt to account for evil.

Jer 31:37 - Thus says the LORD: If the heavens above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth below can be explored, then I will reject all the offspring of Israel because of all they have done.
This is quite interesting! Another claim that there are things impossible to humanity - measuring the cosmos, and mapping the internal structure of the earth (well, the foundations of the flat, unmoving earth)!

Jer 32:30,31 - For the people of Israel and the people of Judah have done nothing but evil in my sight from their youth; the people of Israel have done nothing but provoke me to anger by the work of their hands, says the LORD. This city has aroused my anger and wrath, from the day it was built until this day, so that I will remove it from my sight.
Now this strikes me as a very immature attitude, even for a human! To make the statement that a whole nation is pure evil in every thing they did for literally centuries is simply ludicrous! The question I have is, if God was so angry from the very start, why did he say, in 1 Kings, that he would reside there forever? Also, why talk about removing the city from God's sight, when it still stands today?

Jer 32:38-41 - They shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me for all time, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them; and I will put fear in their hearts, so that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing good to them, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.
So - making people live in constant fear is a GOOD thing? Making people follow your religion strictly through fear implies (to me, at least) that it isn't one that people would normally enjoy being a part of. These are the thoughts of a sick control freak.

Jer 33:20,21 - Thus says the LORD: If any of you could break my covenant with the day and my covenant with the night, so that day and night would not come at their appointed time, only then could my covenant with my servant David be broken, so that he would not have a son to reign on his throne, and my covenant with my ministers the Levites.
What an odd concept! God had to agree to contracts with "day" and "night" - two separate entities! - to arrange for their schedule of arrivals and departures? Now my other question on this would be, who reigned on David's throne, according to this supposed covenant, while Persia, Assyria and Babylon were in control? I would expect that the actual throne survived the fall of Jerusalem, so where did it get to and who ruled from there? I'll try and look into this throne question further and report back when I locate serious data.

Jer 34:8,9 - The word came to Jeremiah from the LORD, after King Zedekiah had made a covenant with all the people in Jerusalem to make a proclamation of liberty to them, that all should set free their Hebrew slaves, male and female, so that no one should hold another Judean in slavery.
This is quite interesting, from the standpoint of morality. The institution of slavery was here repealed, but only for the Jews. The slave holders with non-Hebrew slaves are not mentioned, and I would expect that "alien" slaves were the majority of those in bondage, anyway. It would not surprise me to find that this passage was used by supporters of black slavery 150 years ago - after all, the people who mattered (Jewish slaves) were the only ones who needed to be freed!

Jer 44:29,30 - This shall be a sign to you, says the LORD, that I am going to punish you in this place, in order that you may know that my words against you will surely be carried out: Thus says the LORD, I am going to give Pharaoh Hophra, king of Egypt, into the hands of his enemies, those who seek his life, just as I gave King Zedekiah of Judah into the hand of King Nebuchadrezzar of Babylon, his enemy who sought his life.
Once again, signs are popping up all over the place, according to Jeremiah! What I don't understand is how the politics and wars of other lands were only possible at God's direction? In other words, this statement is implying that this Pharaoh was going down only because God wanted to show Israel he meant business. I personally fail to see how this could be a clear sign of God demonstrating his might.

Jer 48:10 - Accursed is the one who is slack in doing the work of the LORD; and accursed is the one who keeps back the sword from bloodshed.
This is an interesting verse for two reasons. First is the sheer bloody-mindedness of it. Second, it appears to be another interpolation - a later addition inserted by some person (priest, scribe, who knows?). Verses 9 and 11 are talking about the destruction of Moab, apparently in some sort of verse form (from what I can see in my copy of the Bible). Verse 10 abandons the verse structure for this little curse for lax killers, then 11 resumes the poetry. Obviously, this is just a guess. If I ever get around to doing it, I hope to find some linguistic study of the Bible to confirm or refute this guess. Anyone who has a reference that will help with this, please let me know!

Jer 49:6,7 - I am going to bring terror upon you, says the LORD God of hosts, from all your neighbors, and you will be scattered, each headlong, with no one to gather the fugitives. But afterward I will restore the fortunes of the Ammonites, says the LORD.
This is the end of a section of Jeremiah dedicated to promising the destruction of the Ammonites - I assume these are the same people marked for absolute destruction in 1 Samuel, but the job wasn't quite finished. Oddly enough, once again, it looks like the last sentence was a later addition, based on how the text is arranged in my Bible. It's as if someone came back and added a little nonsensical codicil to cover the events that actually took place, and make it look like the prophet accurately predicted the fortunes of these people.

Jer 51:20-23 - You are my war club, my weapon of battle: with you I smash nations; with you I destroy kingdoms; with you I smash the horse and its rider; with you I smash the chariot and the charioteer; with you I smash the man and woman; with you I smash the old man and the boy; with you I smash the young man and the girl; with you I smash shepherds and their flocks; with you I smash farmers and their teams; with you I smash governors and deputies.
God certainly seems to have quite a full agenda for his chosen people: what with smashing old men, little boys and girls, farmers and shepherds, that would make a busy day for any well-armed fighting force!