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Psychological
Issues of Former Members of Restrictive Religious Groups
by Jim Moyers, MA,
MFT
While this article was originally written for
psychotherapists
working with ex-fundamentalists, it should be helpful for anyone who
has
been involved with a restrictive religious group.
Restrictive religious groups, characterized by rigid beliefs,
authoritarian structure, rejection of mainstream culture, and isolation
from outside influences that might lead to questions about the
group's teachings, come in many forms, from fringe cults to well
established churches. While the experience of individuals
involved with so-called cults that clearly deviate from orthodox
religious practice has been extensively discussed in both
popular and professional literature, there has been relatively
little recognition of the fact that similar issues are often
associated with conservative forms of mainstream religion.
While much of what follows is based on the experience of former
members of Christian fundamentalist groups, there are parallels
with restrictive groups from all traditions.
Shattered Faith
There are many people who find membership in restrictive groups to be a
positive experience. I am not here so much concerned with them as
I am with those who, often after a great deal of inner turmoil,
leave such groups. Many, especially those who had been intensely
involved with their religion, experience what has been called the
"shattered faith syndrome" (Yao, 1987). Having lost faith in what was
once a primary source of meaning and guidance, the former
believer feels lost and overwhelmed. While not all groups go so
far as to prohibit contact with those who leave, a former
member is unlikely to be well regarded by the faithful.
Estrangement from the community of believers - the focus of
social life within many such groups - will compound the sense of
isolation and despair that often comes with the loss of one's faith.
The psychological effects of membership in a restrictive
religious group can persist long after the outward severing of
ties. Ex-members may experience a chronic sense of
dissatisfaction coupled with difficulties in finding new sources
of meaning and direction. Authoritarian groups encourage
the distrust of one’s own judgment. Many former members despair
in being unable to recapture the certainty that came with
unquestioning acceptance of the group's teachings.
Fundamentalist doctrines often emphasize human imperfection,
maintaining that there is no possibility for doing good without
the assistance of divine grace which alone can render an
individual
acceptable to God. Belief that pride in oneself is sinful may be
internalized as a persistently negative self image. Sexual
inhibitions, compulsions, frustrations, and guilt tend to linger
long after negative beliefs about sex have been consciously
rejected. Having been taught to regard every impulse as
potentially evil, the former believer may have little
capacity for spontaneity and lack viable means for genuine
self-expression. Conditioned distrust of the world outside the
community of believers coupled with the experience of
disillusionment with teachings that were once seemed infallible can
present a serious obstacle to joining any group or making lasting
commitments.
Psychological Issues Of Former
Members
Former members of restrictive religious groups are of course
subject to the same psychopathogenic factors as everyone
else; such a background is not an all-inclusive explanation
for every psychological problem someone who once belonged to such a
group may experience. But, the past being prologue to the
present, current problems even when not obviously connected may well
have some relation to having been in the group. The
experience of loosing one's faith can be quite traumatic, although the
trauma is often far from apparent.
Religious conflicts should always be approached from a carefully
neutral position. There is a fine line between bias against
religion as inherently pathological and naiveté about the
potential of
rigid religious systems for undermining a healthy sense of self.
Even though a former member may claim to have rejected her or his
former beliefs, it is important that the would-be helper remain
neutral. Emphasizing negative aspects of a once strongly held way
of being in
the world may trigger a defense of something with which the
ex-believer is still unconsciously identified. Criticism of past
beliefs may be misconstrued as criticism of the individual for having
believed them. There is often a lingering sense of shame in
having once accepted as truth something that now seems untenable.
The former member should be encouraged to look at the positive as
well as negative aspects of her/his experience in the restrictive
group. It may be helpful to think of the involvement as
a developmental stage that was important, in ways both good and
bad, in shaping one's life. As with any other developmental
stage, the restrictive belief system was eventually
outgrown. But
unlike most other life stages, there is rarely an obvious next stage
for the former believer. This is especially true
with groups that
actively discourage awareness of other systems of thought and
lifestyle. Fundamentalists typically have little
acquaintance with other religions, the humanities, or modern critical
thought. Education in schools operated by such
a group, where all
ideas are filtered through a closed belief system, further
increases social and cultural isolation. Thus the former member may be
totally unaware of alternative approaches to spiritual and
existential issues. Support for spiritual and
philosophical exploration, in contrast to the limits set by the
former belief system, will help support a new capacity for
independent thought.
Without the unequivocal pronouncements that once guided them, former
members of authoritarian groups may feel lost and confused. In
any transition, there is a naturally occurring period of time between
the collapse of old beliefs and the development of a new set of
guiding principles. Kuhn's (1970) account of the disorientation
that occurs when a scientific viewpoint once thought to be
definitive fails to fit emergent facts can be usefully applied to the
similar confusion that comes with a shift in religious belief as the
old set of beliefs fails to fit newly discovered facts
about oneself and the world.
Bridge's (1980) concept of an "empty" middle phase in the
process of moving from an old way of being to something new but not
yet fully developed can also be helpful in normalizing the
ex-believer's sense of confusion and inner emptiness as a natural part
of the process of moving beyond outmoded views about self and the
world.
The tenets of a restrictive religious group typically serve as the
primary source of meaning and self definition for members. In
departing from them, the former believer loses what was likely
the central organizing principle of her or his life. As with any loss,
there is an associated grief process which, however, often goes
unrecognized. Naming the losses as well as the gains that
occurred in leaving the group can go a long way towards helping someone
move through a necessary grief process. The depression
the ex-member may feel is a normal and understandable
response to a very real loss.
Often the connection
between current
life difficulties and past religious experience will not be apparent
even to
the former member.
Ex-believers may feel doubly misunderstood and isolated.
Family and friends who remain in the group, even when not
outright rejecting a former member, are likely to have limited
tolerance for the views
of someone who has repudiated something that they continue to
believe. In addition, people who do not share the same background
may have difficulty understand
the intense and long lasting effect of having been a member of a
restrictive religion.
Along with the shattering of idealized images about the group and
its leaders, the disillusioned believer has lost something
that
was once regarded as absolute truth. Beliefs can
continue living on in the unconscious despite conscious intentions to
leave them far behind. Years after I had left the apocalyptic
church in which I grew up, I would sometimes find myself thinking
of the news in terms of "signs of the end," wondering what I would do
if prophecies which I supposedly no longer believed were
fulfilled. I once knew a man who
as a teenager was briefly involved with an extreme Calvinistic
group. While he no longer believed in the hellfire and damnation
that were a staple of the group's teaching, he continued to feel a
desire for what he termed "hell insurance."
Self esteem
based upon being one of the elite group which is privy to
"sure truth" is
seriously impacted when one no longer belongs to the group whose
teachings now seem to be anything but true.
The former believer may feel foolish in having "been taken in." I
have found Jung's (1965) concept of the self as an inner
transcendent source of healing and wholeness that is often
projected onto institutions and their leaders useful in helping
people reclaim aspects of themselves that were given away to
a religious group. In addition, Jung's psychological awareness of
spirituality as well as his autobiographical account of his own
struggle with
religious beliefs can be very helpful for individuals seeking a new way
to understand religious experience.
In psychotherapy as well as other relationships, the projections
formerly carried by the group and its leaders are likely to reappear in
the form of idealization and/or devaluation. Ex-believers
may test a relationship to see if they are at risk for another painful
betrayal. Therapeutic process often revolves around reclamation
of the personal authority once given over to the group, and now perhaps
projected onto significant others as well as the therapist.
Having been well trained in meeting demands that s/he conform to
group expectations, the former believer may be very adept at
unconsciously
meeting the
perceived expectations of others. Denial, repression,
splitting, and a false self presentation are often well developed
defense mechanisms. The black and white thinking expressed in
such conflicting pairs of opposites as God vs. devil, group of
believers vs. the rest of the world, sin vs. righteousness,
etc. results in repression of anything that might be
construed as unacceptable. Constant self monitoring and rigid self
control, along with confession of every sin in prayer are regarded by
many fundamentalists as the only means of avoiding divine condemnation.
In the literalism characteristic of fundamentalist thought, an "evil"
thought or feeling is considered to be just as sinful as an evil
act. Impulses and feelings of any kind may be regarded as demonic
in origin. This also occurs in some Eastern traditions
where the goal is transcendence of the illusionary material realm
with its beguiling desires and sensations. The former believer is
likely to need frequent reminders that there is nothing inherently evil
about negative feelings, and the mere fact of their existence does not
mean that they will be acted out.
Strongly held beliefs greatly complicate family dynamics when not all
family members share those beliefs. Unlike former members of
"cults" whose families likely opposed their religious involvement,
individuals who leave church based groups often leave family members
behind, and may need support in coping with the anger, pain, and
grief of being misunderstood and judged by family and
friends. They will also need assistance in developing and
maintaining a
personal philosophy that clashes with deeply held beliefs of family
members. Family interactions sometimes become dominated by
well meant attempts of the "faithful" to persuade their "lost
loved one" to return to "the fold." Conversely, the former
believer's desire to win family and friends over to his or her
condemnation of the group is often as strong as the desire of
those who continue as members to bring her or him back into alignment
with the
group.
Dysfunctional family patterns may be hidden behind the idealized image
of the religiously affiliated family, an image that is apt to
fail when faith in the church or group is lost. The discovery of
serious
pathology in one's family presents yet another challenge to
previously held beliefs. Adolescents from families belonging to
restrictive religious groups often rebel through gross violations
of the strict moral codes that have been prescribed for
them. Sexual acting out, running away, and substance abuse
in very religious families may represent fumbling attempts to establish
autonomy in the face of
overbearing parental and religious authority. Divorce and
bitter child custody disputes, based in black and white conflicts
over transcendent values, can occur when one spouse leaves a
restrictive religious group while the other remains.
Conclusion
Psychological issues of former members of restrictive religious
are often unique in the degree to which they involve past religious
belief and experience. It is important to remember that what may
seem to be eccentric, even bizarre ideas and practices are likely to
have been
very important in shaping the former believer's life. In
addition to the usual goals of psychotherapy, former members may
need assistance in exploring lingering religious conflicts, as well as
support in seeking sources of meaning and social interaction more
congruent with their current beliefs and lifestyle.
References
Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions.
Reading, Mass.
Jung, C.G. (1965). Memories,
Dreams, Reflections. New York: Random House.
Kuhn, T.S. (1970). The
Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Chicago: University of
Chicago Press.
Yao, R. (1987). Addiction and
the Fundamentalist Experience. New York: Fundamentalists
Anonymous - this group seems to no longer exist.
Earlier versions of this material appeared in Psychotherapy,
The
California Therapist, and Cultic Studies Journal.
©1999 James C. Moyers May
be copied and distributed with source and author credited.
Also On This Site
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email:
jimmoyers@mac.com