Cathy Clamp joins us this week to slay one of her personal demons!

After many years of city life, I now live in a small town. I probably made a similar transition in life to what other people have experienced. I grew up in a medium-sized town, moved to a major city in my twenties both for better pay and more amenities, and then slowly — ever so slowly, became frustrated by the constant motion. I wanted to slow down the pace, lower my blood pressure (instead of taking medication for the rest of my life), and hear birds chirping rather than people and sirens screaming.

Now, two years into small town life, I’ve accomplished all of those things. But I’d forgotten a few things about small towns. One is that one person’s private life is everybody’s gossip. I can deal with that, though. I’m antisocial by nature, but friendly when approached. So my husband and I have become the nice, but eccentric couple on the corner. In a small town, “eccentric” is shorthand for “weird, but has money.”

The other thing I’d forgotten about small town life is what I term, “hours for the unemployed.” This one I have more difficulty handling — to the point of gnashing my teeth in frustration and writing snide, angry letters to the editor of the local paper that I destroy before I actually mail. Unfortunately, I occasionally get paid money to write for the paper. The businesses I desperately crave to publicly flay would probably pull their advertising after reading my manifesto. I’d be slitting my own throat and that of the editor, who I consider a friend.

See, over half of the businesses in town are open from 9-5, and close from noon to 1:30 each day for lunch. There really are “banker’s hours” here, because the banks are only open until 3:00 p.m. The post office? Open until 4:30. There is no such thing as “overnight” mail, anywhere in the country, because my poor little envelope has to make a drive to a major city before it can fly on its merry way. It doesn’t matter if it’s FedEx, or Airborne, UPS or the others. They pick up promptly at 4:00 p.m. on weekdays and don’t pick up or deliver on weekends. An “overnight” letter sent on Friday won’t arrive anywhere until Tuesday. Sigh...

I write for a living, so you’d think that I could deal with this schedule, but it’s harder than it sounds. When I’m typing on a book, I lose track of time. In a major metropolis, this was no big deal, because even if 5:00 rolled around, I could still hop in my car and find things open. Not so in small town America. Now, if I want to shop anywhere but WalMart (which until about three weeks ago didn’t open until 11:00 a.m. on weekends, and is about the same size as a stand-alone Payless Shoes outlet!) I have to drive about an hour to the nearest city. The small percentage of businesses that are actually open on Saturdays close at noon or before 3:00 p.m.

And don’t get me started on Sundays! My town is in a very, VERY religious part of the bible belt. To give you some idea of that concept, there are twenty-six churches within the city limits — for a population of under 5,000. I’m not particularly religious. I have nothing against those who are (including my esteemed co-author,) so long as it doesn’t directly impact my life. However, I do have things to do on Sunday, which usually have to do with keeping the household running because I spend every weekday writing. Chores are weekend things, so if something breaks on a Sunday (which plumbing and appliances are wont to do), I either lose two hours driving to the city, or have to wait to fix the problem until Monday. The streets on Sunday here resemble the opening of the movie The Andromeda Strain, minus the bodies. I’d say minus the vultures, too, but you CAN find those hopping around on Sunday, pecking at discarded food.

I don’t much mind my insurance agent keeping 9-5 hours, but the clothing store, the furniture store, and the feed store? (since we raise goats on our little piece of paradise.) The thing I find strangest is that there seems to be an honest confusion in the minds of the shopkeepers about why business is down at established stores, and why 60% of new businesses fail in the first year. The Chamber of Commerce has spent big bucks to rent billboards for miles around to encourage people to shop locally. They’ve advertised in the paper and handed out flyers. But they just don’t get it. If a person works from 8-5, and the businesses are closed during their lunch hour, when can shopping occur? Well, it occurs exactly when you think it would — after 6:00 p.m. or on Saturday and Sunday, but in another city.

When I first arrived and saw what was happening, I explained my theory to the nice lady at the CofC and, being a very bright girl, she understood what I was saying. She understood it so well that she recently resigned to take the same position in a larger city, where the member businesses do grasp the concept.

The problem with this particular demon is that there are too many heads to slay and like the hydra, for each one cut off, there are more to take its place. Fortunately, the culture is slowly changing as new people come in to replace the old guard, and the old attitudes. It won’t happen tomorrow (and certainly not on a Sunday!) but it will happen. I guess until then, I’ll resign myself to making the drive to the city each weekend to buy what I need.

It’s a shame that I can’t support the business owners where I live. But I guess since they don’t support me either, it’s a fair trade.

***************

Cathy Clamp writes paranormal romance, mysteries and historical fiction with her co-author C.T. Adams. Their most recent book hit the shelves this month. Moon’s Web (Tor Romance, ISBN 0-765-34914-0) is the sequel to last year’s multi award-winning Hunter’s Moon. With a number of books coming out in 2006 and 2007, they’re looking forward to a long and happy writing career. Sample chapters of all of their books, plus links to buy, are available on their website, at http://www.ciecatrunpubs.com