Hilary with Superfluous Juxtaposition joins us this week to slay a few personal demons ...

If you’re single and in your 20s or 30s, chances are you’ve tried online dating. And if you’ve tried online dating, chances are you’ve read one or more common online dating profile clichés.

The funny thing about these phrases is that no man would ever speak them in person. It’s highly unlikely you’d be at a bar and overhear a guy tell a potential date, I work hard, but play harder. It’s as if writing an essay for an online dating profile not only gives permission but provides an excuse for a man to present himself as an idiot. And what exactly does work hard but player harder mean?

Let’s take a look at another one of my favorite examples, I like long walks on the beach. Yeah, well, who doesn’t? But really, how often do you take long walks on the beach? And when given a 500 word max to tell your soulmate about yourself, is this really one of the most important things she would need to know about you?

Or perhaps you should tell your future wife, I am as comfortable in a tux as I am in a t-shirt and jeans. No you’re not. She knows you’re lying. And you know you’re lying. Must you really begin getting to know each other with a lie?

On the other hand, starting an essay with an honest statement is usually a good place to begin. Unless of course, that statement is something along the lines of, I don’t think I can describe myself in an essay. No woman wants a man who can’t even begin to describe himself in 200 words. And FYI, using song lyrics just to fill up the space—not such a good idea.

Humor however, always a good idea. A man who can make a woman laugh without feeling the need to prove he’s a comedian is a great thing. But a man who says, I’m funny, but I don’t know how to show that here, is definitely not funny. Come on guys, women love funny men—the naturally funny kind.

So, to all of the men writing online dating profiles: How about being real? Tell us about you—about your favorite movies, books, songs. About how you ended up in some really cool place while on a road trip because you refused to stop and ask for directions. Or how you have a three legged dog who can outrun any dog in the neighborhood. Tell us anything.

Well, almost anything. We don’t need to know that you’re sitting there in your comfortable tux trying desperately to write about yourself and sound funny following a day of playing hard. Some things are just better left unsaid.


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Hilary is a technical writer living in Los Angeles. When she’s not working at her day job or reading online profiles, she can be found writing tidbits about her life on her blog, Superfluous Juxtaposition. And, she’s always on the lookout for a nice Jewish boy, so if you know of one, send him her way.