I'm actually a pretty laid back person. No, really. Ask anyone. Except, don't ask my agent during those periods when I'm stressing out; I doubt she'd understand that my Type A personality is really of the relatively mellow variety. And don't ask my daughter when I'm trying to get her dressed in the morning. Or my husband during one of those times when I've lost my keys or my computer's crashed. Or --
Actually, you know what? Never mind. Maybe I'm not all that laid back after all. So let's just say that I aspire to be laid back. But there's one area in which I don't even try. One area that's so dastardly, so angst-inducing, so downright painful, that I don't even pretend to be laid back about it. Come on, all you girls out there know what I'm talking about: All that freakin' effort, pain and money that we pump into looking girlie.
I mean, I am a girl. Why do I have to go to all this extra work? And not just why do I have to, but why do I want to? Especially when it's so darn painful. Case in point: Eyebrow waxing. I just got back from a local place, where I swear the girl when to the Marquis de Sade school of eyebrow waxing. I mean, last I looked, there were no eyebrows poking out from my actual eyelid. So why did she put wax there? Apparently, if the yelp I let out was any indication, she wanted to see if I could hit a High C (I can't...). And shaving (you'd think w/ decades of practice I'd be able to avoid those little nicks) and working out at the gym (we won't even go there) and underwire bras. Men just don't understand. Those suckers may lift, separate, and create some pretty amazing cleavage, but they also hurt! Not to mention, they're hell to get through airport security.
And what's with thong underwear? Every fashion magazine and at least half the chicklit books I've read lately rave about thongs as if they were the fashion equivalent of the second coming. But none of these resources mentions how uncomfortable they are. I mean, come on. The whole point of not slipping on the tightwire is so you don't have the rope jammed up your butt. And yet we women go out and buy these things on purpose?????? Are panty lines really so evil (answer, yes, alas, they are...)
I guess when you boil it all down, I'm lazy. At least in a girlie-girl sort of way. I want the toned ass, smooth legs and nicely arched eyebrows. I want a fabulous manicure, pedicure and brilliantly applied make-up. I guess I just resent everything it takes to get there (and no comments, please, about whether my butt is there yet or not; I'm working on it!). The age old story of wanting the results, but not wanting to do the work. After all, there are only so many hours in the day, do I really want to spend them tweezing?
You know, I suppose I've got a similar attitude about blogging (how's that for an elegant transition?). I mean, I love surfing blogs. Love reading the new entries and chuckling over the new posts, links and other bits of Internet cream that invariably rise to the top of the blog stew.
So, never one to pass up an opportunity to capitalize on my own laziness, I thought this would be a fun way to circumvent that little problem: set up a blog, but invite lots of fabulously entertaining guest bloggers so I don't have to do as much work! Check the (growing) list to the right to see who's lined up in the future that you won't want to miss. And with all the extra time I'll have, I think I may just have to give myself a pedicure ...
***Promo Alert! Promo Alert! THE GIVENCHY CODE will hit shelves in just a few weeks. Check it out at
www.givenchycode.com !
Just got here from a link at the OOTB blog -- I'm looking forward to THE GIVENCHY CODE and CARPE DEMON. I'm a ridiculous fangirl of all things superhero-ish, so your Aphrodite series hooked me a while ago.
Eek...sorry. I left fangirl drool. **wipes it off and crawls away**
By meljean brook, at 6:14 PM
And don't you worry about that drool :)
By Julie Kenner, at 9:24 PM
I'm waiting for Carpe Demon and The Givenchy Code. Not sure why I've not gotten the Aphrodite series yet. Hmm..
By Destruction Angel, at 6:06 AM
By Julie Kenner, at 9:02 AM
And you, darlin', are what I call me (Taken from WHEN HARRY MET SALLY): the worst kind..high maintenance that THINKS they're low maintenance.
Doesn't matter though, when ya ROCK!
By Brenda Bradshaw, at 11:52 AM
By Brenda Bradshaw, at 11:53 AM
And you are SO right. I'm definitely high maintenance. Just don't tell my husband. I've got him trained to think I'm not ....
J
By Julie Kenner, at 11:59 AM
By Brenda Bradshaw, at 12:25 PM
In general, I'm so NOT a girly-girl. Too lazy.
Julie, maybe your butt isn't big enough for thongs! Nowhere for the "T-bar," as my nieces call them (from a type of ski lift), to sink into, LOL.
My butt has no problem accommodating the T-bar.
Ahem.
By Cindy Procter-King, at 2:50 PM
Ahem, too :)
By Julie Kenner, at 3:14 PM
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