Slay Your Demons: Character Envy ... or Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Characters' Thighs ...

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor...

This site is brought to you by Julie Kenner, author of CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM and a whole buncha other books. Follow the link to check out her site (and, you know, buy a few books while you're there; keep the kiddo fed and clothed ...)

Julie's Home Page
Julie's Blog

So Demonic!

Not exactly demonic, but it is out now!

The original demon-hunting soccer mom story:

A Booksense Summer Pick of 2005!!
A Target Breakout Book!
A Barnes & Noble #1 SFF Bestseller!

Other Books by Julie:

Click an image to order

Slay Your Demons

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Character Envy ... or Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Characters' Thighs ...

Thanks to Karen Kendall for popping in to slay a few personal demons this week ...

Hi, everyone! For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been working on a really fun summer series with Julie and Kylie Adams called the Bridesmaid Chronicles, and . . . drum-roll . . . FIRST DATE, book one of the four, will be in stores by June 7th! I am very excited (and for more info just visit www.KarenKendall.com).

Now, the only thing that is tempering my excitement about FIRST DATE’s release is that it’s somehow, incredibly, gotten to be swim-suit season without me realizing it. And during the writing of FIRST DATE and FIRST DANCE (the third book in the series) I ate more chocolate than a bear would need for a five-year hibernation.

So the mortifying truth is that I’m jealous of our character’s thighs!

I mean, this is fiction we’re writing, right? So why would Sydney, Kiki, Viv and Julia (the heroines of the four Bridesmaid Chronicle books) have better thighs than mine? I called our editor right away and asked if we could take back their thinner thighs, but the books are already going to press, and for some reason Kara just didn’t share my anxiety on the subject. (???)

Then I called author Kathleen O’Reilly to see if V, her character in THE DIVA’S GUIDE TO SELLING YOUR SOUL (fabulous, funny book!) could zap a few inches off my thighs. But alas, she demanded my soul in return (she works for the devil) and unfortunately my agent is already in negotiations to sell it to someone else.

This leaves me staring at the treadmill (true instrument of the devil) and getting on-line to order High Thighs Slimmer Scrub (Circulation-Stimulating Lower Body Blaster) from Bliss. I wonder how many thousands of miles I will have to walk on the treadmill, and how many metric tons of High Thighs Slimmer Scrub it will take to sufficiently blast all the chocolate a bear would need for a five-year hibernation?

Stay tuned, but don’t hold your breath. This could take a loooooooong time!

Karen

******
Karen Kendall is the author of many disasters and nine romantic comedies, five of which are coming out in 2005! For more info visit her at www.karenKendall.com

posted by Julie Kenner at 9:51 PM

3 Comments:

LOL! Loved this, Karen, because it is *so true*. My characters are never as well-adjusted as I am (ahem ...) but they always have much better thighs. And cleavage. They always seem to have cleavage.

There's probably a name for this syndrome, but I don't know what it is ...

By Julie Kenner, at 9:55 PM

Karen, I'm sitting here nodding my fool head off, and wouldn't you know it, I just read Kathleen's book yesterday so I knew IMMEDIATELY what you were referring to! LOL!

Character envy. Although King says we need to kill our darlings, they ARE, in fact, our darlings, so they WILL have tits that are where God intended (rather than grazing the waistband of my shorts ~cough~ and perfectly tanned, not too tan--not too pale, thighs. If we can't have them, then our darlings MUST.

It's like...law.

By Brenda Bradshaw, at 9:27 AM

Brenda, LOL. Yes, it's true! We must live vicariously through our characters. But it's tough when you get jealous of them . . .

I will have to give my next heroine a big zit on her nose or something! Karen K.

By Karen Kendall , at 4:57 PM