TERMINALLY STUPID ALGORITHM (TSA)
Home
TSA: You Decide!
Michael Chertoff, Come On Down!
John Pistole Show Us Your Stuff
The Janet Napolitano Gallery
Welcome to AirStrip Two
TransSecAdmin Wants You!
TSA in Action against Terrorists!
Fight Back!

"The only thing I'm against is stupidity"--J. Edgar Hoover

OK, I threw up this website because I am fed up with the idiocy at the airports. The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has made getting onto an airplane these days an Orwellian exercise. And worse than the negation of the Bill of Rights at the airports is the plain out stupidity of the TSA. What bugs me is how the TSA makes every mistake in the book. Examples are below. Suffice it to say that the situation is going to get a lot worse before it gets even worse than that.

 

Please note that this site currently has a bunch of pages, and you can navigate to the others via the hyperlinks in the left hand column. It's hours of fun for the entire family. This is especially true if you are in the airport viewing this website on your notebook computer.

 

Oh yeah, as for me: I'm a world famous military simulations designer. And former instructor at the US Army Special Warfare Center and School. And I teach an occasional class on terrorism counteraction. Plus some other stuff that looks good on the resume.

 

Anyway, I decided to call this site "TSA" for "Terminally Stupid Algorithm" because when designing military simulations you use formulae to model reality called "algorithms”. But since most simulations are rationale, being in essence the maximization of numerical data, how do you represent the human propensity for stupidity? The answer is something called "The Idiocy Factor", game functions which recreate idiotic human behavior. Hence, this site will explore some of the more idiotic decisions made by those allegedly involved in "protecting" us from terrorism.

 

SOME EXAMPLES

 

Reacting to the last attack. There's an old cliche about losing generals who refight the last war while the enemy cleverly fights the next war. We've all heard about the famous liquid bomb plot, though I doubt if anyone in the TSA understands how such a thing would actually be built. Anyway, what is so dumb about the new set of airport restrictions is that the famous liquid bomb plot was broken up. The threat is over, for crying out loud. So why is the TSA banning all sorts of liquids? Why aren't they looking at the next plot? Ah, because they are functioning under…The Stupidity Algorithm.

 

Losing the initiative. Each time "the terrorists" launch a plot, no matter how lame or ineffective it would have been in reality, the TSA drops everything in order to defend against a repeat of the same. Of course, any terrorist worth his salt will be thinking up something new and original for the next attack. What happens as a result is that the TSA ties up enormous amounts of time, manpower and effort in fighting last year's threat. Or the way things are going, last decade's threat.

 

Attacking the wrong target. "The terrorists" are the enemy, right? Wouldn't all that manpower and resources and effort currently used to harass people at airport screening points be put to better use in attacking real terrorists? For example, why not use a fraction of all this to conduct intelligence operations to penetrate real terrorist groups? Or better, reassign TSA personnel to screen people in places like Afghanistan and Iraq where the terrorists operate openly. Gee, I would get pay-per-view to see TSA personnel trying to "wand" a warlord in Kabul.

 

 

toontvjpeg.jpg
"Wake Up!"

snipercat.jpg
Terrorists Are Everywhere

bostonhysterical.jpg
American Cities Under Siege

 

omigod.gif
TSA Has To Do Something!

wiretap_cover.jpg
TSA Has A Plan

billofrights.jpg
We don't need this anymore!

1984-movie-bb_a1.jpg
TSA Airport Screening Station--Long Lines Are The Price Of Administering Transportation Security

lukeobitroopers.jpg
"He doesn't need to take off his shoes; these aren't the shoes you're looking for; move along."

plasticbagflag.jpg
Help TSA Defend The Homeland--Choose Plastic Bags

orwelltrib.gif
National ID: Not Just A Good Idea--It's TSA


franklin.jpg

Remember, Ben Franklin says-- "They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."