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    THE FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT QUALIFICATION TEST

    We recently came into possession of a copy of what appears to be the qualifying examination for federal law enforcement officers. Readers are invited to take the test and see how they would do.


    1. A religious minority is suspected of stockpiling weapons. What do you do?
    a. Nothing. They are practicing their right to bear arms.
    b. Get a warrant from a judge, put on a business suit, and politely knock on their front door to serve the warrant.
    c. Launch a military style assault and massacre everyone.


    2. Governments are instituted among men to...
    a. Secure certain unalienable rights.
    b. Enforce the law.
    c. Send hither swarms of Officers.


    3. Sobriety checkpoints, profile searches, and drug testing are:
    a. Violations of the Fourth Amendment.
    b. Generally ineffective because they waste police resources harassing law abiding citizens.
    c. The way we do business.


    4. Civilian versions of military assault rifles are involved in less than 8 percent of violent crime. What should government do about this?
    a. Concentrate law enforcement resources on arresting violent criminals.
    b. Register assault rifles.
    c. Ban these rifles and persecute millions of innocent citizens.


    5. An intelligence agency comes up with the idea of emplacing de-encryption devices in every computer manufactured in the United States. What do you do?
    a. Refuse to cooperate and instead demand immediate dissolution of what is obviously an out of control agency.
    b. Look up federal regulations and see if this will put you in jail for illegal wiretapping.
    c. Demand that your agency gets a piece of this action.


    6. You are at an airport where you see a citizen paying for an airline ticket with cash. What do you do?
    a. Nothing. Cash is legal tender for all debts.
    b. Stop the citizen and ask why they are using cash instead of a credit card.
    c. Confiscate the money and arrest the citizen as a suspected drug dealer.


    7. A known criminal approaches you and tells you that your neighbor has some contraband. What do you do?
    a. Nothing. Law enforcement experience demonstrates that known criminals are unreliable informants who frequently try to frame innocent people for crimes they never committed.
    b. Try and get more evidence to corroborate this story.
    c. Break into your neighbor's house with a SWAT team, handcuff your neighbor, and let him die of a heart attack.


    8. Drug education programs which encourage children to inform on their parents are...
    a. Based on Nazi and Communist secret police practices and must be opposed by anyone who loves freedom.
    b. Disgusting but unfortunately necessary parts of modern police work.
    c. A great way to destroy the family and create a society based on mutual distrust.


    9. You are an IRS agent investigating a citizen. The citizen says that the 1040 income tax forms are a violation of his 5th Amendment protection against self incrimination. How do you respond?
    a. By telling him he is right and he is under no legal compulsion to report his income.
    b. By telling him that if this were true, nobody would have to pay taxes.
    c. By arresting the citizen, confiscating his bank account, and bulldozing his house.


    10. Many American citizens have decided to move their bank accounts to foreign countries. What is the proper law enforcement response?
    a. Nothing. It's their money, they have a right to do what they please with it.
    b. Ordering the citizens to pay U.S. income taxes on any moneys in foreign accounts.
    c. The U.S. must launch an invasion of countries with banks which are independent of the American financial system.


    11. Your agency is enacting administrative regulations which ban the use of certain drugs. From where does your power come to enact such laws come?
    a. There is no such power. Article I, Section I of the United States Constitution gives all legislative power to the Congress. Executive agencies have no right to enact laws over the citizens of the United States.
    b. With all the things that have to be regulated in 20th century America, executive agencies have to pass laws.
    c. The power comes from the barrel of a gun.


    12. One of the rationales for drug prohibition is that illegal drugs are a major threat to America's children. Yet despite the fact that millions of minors use drugs, statistics indicate that less than 100 children die every year from emergency room crises caused by illegal drugs. How do you explain this?
    a. Obviously, illegal drugs are not a threat to America's children and there is no rationale for drug prohibition.
    b. The reason the number of drug deaths is so low is because of the heroic efforts of law enforcement in protecting children from drugs.
    c. If we start basing our arguments for drug prohibition on the facts, we would all be out of a job.


    13. A law enforcement operation based on an illegal warrant confiscates all the computers of a small publisher. How do you evaluate this operation?
    a. It is a major threat to freedom of the press in America.
    b. It is a waste of time which would only alienate otherwise law abiding citizens.
    c. It is a great way to intimidate critics of law enforcement.


    14. It is frequently claimed that most crime is caused by drug addicts stealing to get money for drugs. But according to Department of Justice statistics less than 15% of all crime is caused in this manner. How would you explain this at a public meeting?
    a. By stating that the war on drugs is an obvious attempt to scapegoat addicts for the failure of government to maintain order.
    b. By stating that drug prohibition, while generally ineffective, has some positive aspects like putting Bill Clinton's brother in jail.
    c. By going into hysterics.


    15. You are on an undercover mission. Using drugs while posing as a drug dealer is:
    a. Hypocritical and morally wrong.
    b. Risky because you might give away who you are while under the influence.
    c. One of the unwritten benefits of undercover operations.


    16. The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the Western world. The United States also has the highest rate of violent crime in the Western world. How do you explain this?
    a. Jailing people is counterproductive.
    b. We are not jailing enough people.
    c. We need to jail everyone who is not in law enforcement.


    17. According to Department of Justice statistics, the majority of theft in the United States is the result of white collar crime (corporate fraud, etc.). What would you do about white collar crime?
    a. Concentrate law enforcement resources on white collar criminals.
    b. Harass impoverished urban minorities.
    c. Get a white collar job after retirement.


    18. Many politicians who support the war on drugs also have connections in the alcohol, tobacco and pharmaceutical industries. What does this indicate?
    a. A glaring conflict of interests. Obviously, these politicians are using law enforcement to suppress alternative intoxicants and medications.
    b. Nothing. These guys are too powerful to touch so I have no opinion.
    c. It's the American way.


    19. The head of your agency wants to spend $500 million to install devices which would allow federal agencies to monitor all digital telephone communications in the United States. What would you tell him in a briefing?
    a. This is a major threat to privacy in America, one that is reminiscent of KGB practices.
    b. Spending half a billion dollars when there are only 1,000 or so wiretaps authorized every year is a waste of law enforcement resources.
    c. If we have any problems, we can always call in ex-KGB personnel for technical assistance.


    20. Employment of the armed forces to support law enforcement is...
    a. A violation of the Posse Comitatus Act.
    b. An encroachment on local law enforcement's independence.
    c. Vital because while federal law enforcement officers like to dress up in commando outfits they really can not deal with people who shoot back.


    21. Your supervisor tells you that you will be going on an operation whose objective is to seize the property of a citizen without due process of law. What do you do?
    a. State that this is an illegal operation and then tell your supervisor if he persists you will arrest him for violation of the citizen's civil rights.
    b. Say nothing because you are concerned about being losing your job if you speak up.
    c. Make sure you get him to agree to give you a share of the loot.


    22. You are part of a heavily armed SWAT team. You have a man, his wife, their infant child, and their neighbor surrounded in a remote cabin. What should your rules of engagement be?
    a. Fire only if fired upon.
    b. Open fire on anyone you see with a weapon.
    c. Open fire on any woman holding an infant.


    23. You have just participated in a SWAT raid in which an innocent citizen was killed by an agent acting in an unlawful manner. What do you do?
    a. Surrender yourself as a co-conspirator.
    b. Keep quiet and hope you are not blamed.
    c. Demand a promotion.


    24. The United States has a "war" on drugs. What should be the government's response to narcotics officers who seize property and kill innocent citizens in the course of their duties?
    a. Put them on trial as war criminals.
    b. Relieve them for incompetence.
    c. Give them promotions.


    25. The Bill of Rights...
    a. Is part of the Supreme Law of the Land.
    b. Gives criminals all sorts of rights that law abiding citizens do not have.
    c. The Bill of Rights? What is that?

    SCORING:
    For every "a" answer give yourself 0 points.
    For every "b" answer give yourself 2 points.
    For every "c" answer give yourself 4 points.

    Total score:
    76-100. Congratulations! You have a complete disregard for the Constitution of the United States. You are immediately qualified for service in the IRS, BATF, and DEA.
    51-75. You do not have too many qualms about violating the liberties of individual citizens. Apply for any big city police department's vice squad.
    26-50. You think that law enforcement has something to do with protecting people's lives and property, so you are unqualified to be a federal agent. You might make it as a private security guard.
    0-25. You obviously believe that the purpose of government is to secure certain unalienable rights. You'll never qualify for government service. Try joining the
    Libertarian Party instead.

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