some advice for the man who is trying to date...
But before we start, some words of warning:
Any guy...
...who puts any part...
...of his anatomy inside of a woman's body...
...is risking a sentence...
...prison on trumped up charges of "date rape"...
...18 years of child support...
...a "sexual harassment" lawsuit...
...or just a lifetime of being manipulated by the games women play.
INDEX TO PAGE
the feeding chain
So you want to date? You know the chart of the feeding chain they used to show you in biology class? You know the one, where the algae are eaten by the bottom feeding fish which are in turn eaten by the sharks? That's the way it works on land, too.
The key thing is to figure out where you are. If you are one of the Cool Kids what are you doing reading this website? You don't need it. If you are Hopeless, tough luck, life on this planet it horrid. If you are like Most People, then you gotta get your act together. So read this page.
alternatives
So what can you do if you want some sort of relationships with women? Here are your options:
Do nothing.
Be a nice guy.
Strip clubs.
Sex workers.
Foreign brides.
Buy a mistress.
Understand the situation.
Masturbation.
what you should do
OK, you've gotten this far...now how do you start dating?
Pick-up lines. There are none. So don't try to "pick up" girls.
Look in the mirror. If you were a member of the opposite sex, would you want to go out with you? No? Then be prepared to change!
Checklist.
some tips
Be the alpha male. This is what women want (just as you want to go out with the hot babes, right?). So find some scene in which you can excel, be the number one guy, and then let women flutter around you.
Know the scene. Whether it is goth, reggae, country music, classic movies, NASCAR, political activism, modern art, etc., to infinity where you want to meet women, know the terminology, the cool places, the people involved and be able to talk intelligently about them. And just as critically, take her to the cool places.
Dress the role. You're going to a fancy downtown dance club. What do you wear? I know, faded jeans and that shirt you got back in high school with ten years of coffee stains. Yep, that's what women want! My experience is to scope out the place to which you will be going, see how people dress there, then dress one level higher. Women will pick you out by how you dress, just as you pick out women by how their hot bods. The odd thing is, while picking the right clothes is often the easiest thing to do (after all it is merely a matter of spending some money) many guys will fight against changing their look tooth and nail.
Have female friends. Female friends will give you necessary social skills for dealing with women. And female friends will give you all sorts of advice on women about which your men friends will have no clue.
Be seen with women. OK, I will say it again. If you go out to a club, bar, party or other event, make sure you have a woman with you, even if just a friend, even if a business associate. Other women will then think you are desirable (after all, other women will think or feel or intuit, some other female wants you, so you must have something). Just as more importantly, other women will think that you are not some desperate guy who is there to "pick them up." And seeing you with another woman will awaken latent female feelings of cattiness as now they will have to steal you away. Don't believe this? Go to a club with a female friend and dance with her, and notice other women checking you out. When your female friend is not with you (say she is using the powder room) other women may then approach you. Get their numbers, return to the female you came with, then call the interloper back the next day and ask her out.
Playing the field. You are in a venue with numerous available women. You ask one out, she rejects you. You try someone else, right? Wrong. Because if you screw up with even one female in a group then every other female will know about it. And they will not want to go out with you either because they do not want to be second choice. On the other hand, if you get one woman to go out with you, every other female will want to know what it is that you have. Women do not believe in monogamy, they want to mate with the cool guy. Which brings me to...
One strike and you are out. If you get shot down in a public place, leave ASAP. Yes. leave. Every other female in the joint will know about your rejection via jungle telegraph and, as noted, you will be dead with all of them as no woman wants to be second choice.
One strike and you are in. Despite what you may have been told about women wanting to build relationships, share intimacy, create situations of trust, etc., etc., etc., when a woman wants sex, she usually wants it now! If you hesitate to march her into the boudoir, she will dump you and find some other guy, ASAP! So be always be prepared for sex.
Wrap it up. Do not drag out the courting. If you do not take the initiative and do what you want to do right away, whether it is dating or getting married, your erstwhile partner may (and will) meet someone else and you will be history.
The Zen of Dating. If you desire a thing you will never have the thing. Desire is the source of suffering. Clear your mind of desire and you will be on the road to getting what you want. If women know you want them, they will play every game in the book. So be cool.
things to avoid
Desperation. The biggest "turn-off" for any female is a desperate guy. How do you know if you are desperate?
The Fat Chick Syndrome. OK, this may seem cruel, but, too many guys in their desperation glom on to an overweight female. They figure this is better than nothing. This is fraught with problems. First, she knows you are just using her until something better comes along, and so might treat you horridly (and deservedly) in return. Second, it makes you look like a desperate guy who can not do any better.
What you can do. It's easy enough to say "Don't be desperate." I just did it. How do you avoid desperation? See "The Zen of Dating" elsewhere on this site. [[MORE TO BE ADDED LATER]]
Sucking up. Covering her with compliments just after you met her. If you feed her ego, she will assume that she deserves a millionaire. Or that you are desperate.
Trying to pick up strippers in strip clubs. Some guys can pull this off, but if you try she will just rip you off for another lap dance.
Beauty queens. Too much competition, too much ego; often awful in bed.
Talkers. When it comes to sex, the talkers never do it and the doers do not talk about it. Often women talk about sex to get a vicarious thrill. Or to make you talk dirty; then they can react by saying, "I'm not that sort of girl!"
Dirty Talkers. Same as above, but worse. These are women who go to parties and talk about "their sexuality." Or claim they want to go to amateur night at a strip club. Avoid them as they are looking for an audience and they rarely follow up. Talk is cheap and dirty talk is cheaper.
if you have problems
OK, things are not working out. You are getting rejected all the time by females. Here's what you can do:
who is the real "10"?
And oh yes, you might want to rate yourself on the same scale:
An issue here is that too many guys want to date above their level. They make no effort to maintain themselves (according to these standards) but think that somehow that hot babe at the bar will want them. Ain't gonna happen, my man.
sex checklist
There's always the chance that things will work out and you will get her into bed. Always, always, always be prepared. Here are some things you should keep with you at all times, say in an overnight bag in your vehicle:
Birth control: Condoms. Vaginal gels and inserts. Spermicides. Check out your local pharmacy and buy one of each.
Towels: You may actually have to clean up some fluids...
Fluids: Water (you may get thirsty). Wine. Energy drinks.
Lubricants: This makes things a lot easier, but you have to be careful that these will not affect the condom material.
Personal items: Toothbrush (two, one for her), et alia. Change of underwear.
A place: Have a place to go. If your place is not up to snuff, then know a good hotel to taker her. You need to check these places out ahead of time, not at the last moment.
Fun stuff: If you can give a massage, have massage oil; or bring some bubble bath; or a strobe light; or flowers for caressing her body. But, incredible as it may seem, though, a lot of women do not like to have much fun in bed. Hmmm...
Technique: Incredibly, real sex with another human being is not the same as masturbation or even "making out." Might be a good idea to brush up on books on technique, or tantra.
A caveat: If you are prepared for sex, some women will be horrified. "You mean you've done this with (shudder) other women? I'm not someone special?? "You think I am one of those other women???" Go figure...
INDEX TO WEBSITE
"THIRD FISHERMAN: Master, I marvel how the fishes live in the sea"
Cool Kids [top]
Most People [middle]
The Hopeless Cases [bottom]
We live in an age of liberation, right? Just sit back and wait for Ms Rite to take the initiative and ask you out, then ask your permission to have sex, etc., etc. The likely result can be found by clicking here.
Women are always complaining that they want to meet a "nice guy." So publicly declare you will not be aggressive towards women, will never want sex from her; be sure to send her flowers before the first date, etc. The likely result can be found by clicking here.
OK, they're sleazy but, hey, where else can you go where for $1 a woman will drop her pants and smile at you?
Incredible as it may seem in the land of the free, sex work is a crime (i.e., charging money for sex)! How can this be? But...consider how the penalties for being arrested for soliciting prostitution are usually way less than the penalties for "date rape," and what you will pay is cheaper than 18 years of paternity checks. And if you are dealing with a higher grade escort agency, the chances of contracting STDs or having her "forget" to use birth control are minimal. With sex workers, the more you pay the better it usually is. Just remember to take no needless chances. And have a lawyer, just in case.
You can probably find a bride in third world, East European or other countries. There are even services which will set you up with one. This is fraught with dangers, though.
If you have the money, there are services which will provide you with a model quality mistress.
See everything else on this site and you might get somewhere with women.
Well, you can't get STD. Nor can you have a paternity claim or "date rape" charge made against you, unless she lies about these things. But it's grim, my man, grim.
Rating women on a scale of "1" to "10"? Here's the criteria you should be using. Rate her 1 to 10 on each of these, add the total, then divide by 10.
"FIRST FISHERMAN: Why, as men do on land: the great ones eat up the little ones."
--Machiavelli