her motivations

The question is not so much "what do women want?" but rather "why do they want it?"

Why? Now, you would think that since you are lonely and would like to enjoy sex, so would she. But she has an entirely different agenda. Sex = Power is the female formula. Women have traditionally withheld sex as a means to get what they want. You see, once you show an interest in her, she knows she has you. So she can manipulate you. Or even more, she thinks, "Hmmm...an average guy is interested in me; I can do better. So I can attract a doctor or lawyer; and then I can attract a millionaire. Then Mick Jagger will want to marry me!" So she blows you off.

Alpha male complex. Women want to mate with the alpha male, the biggest barbarian in the tribe. This ensures her of status and protection, and the most aggressive children, who can in turn produce even more aggressive grandchildren. So women will suck up to athletes, rock stars, lawyers, gang members, police officers, celebrities, etc. She can also get financial security as well as a boost to her career if the alpha male is a millionaire or movie producer.

Cashing in. Despite what she may tell you about commitment, she may drop you in an instant because she met a doctor-lawyer-movie producer. After all, she deserves that house in suburbia and SUV he promised her. The point is, females are not below trading in their bodies for financial security, as well as the status of being the "soulmate" of a succesful male.

Women's intuition. Women often justify choosing men on the basis of their "intuition" or "emotions" or because "their body knows." Usually this means she will choose the worst possible guy on the spur of the moment and then will rationalize her decision, or try to "change" him, a process which inevitably leads to years of frustration and worse. In the meantime, the same woman will reject an otherwise decent, witty, responsible, intelligent guy whom if she had given him a chance would have provided one of those loving caring relationships women talk about. Now, it is not to be denied that there is something to be said about "love at first sight," and that first impressions can be important. At the same time, it is quite vapid to determine the nature of one's relationships in the first 10 seconds one meets a person. Alas, that is the way it works too often.

"I'm not that kind of a girl". Women, for any number of reasons. may not want to openly admit that they actually like sex. In fact, they may like it a heck of a lot more than your average guy but if they admit to this then: (1) They will be castigated as "bad girls" (and no kidding, social pressures mean a lot). OR (2) They can say, "Gee, I really do not like sex, but if buy me a dinner, or move my furniture, or support a womyn's studies program on campus, or hand over a diamond ring, I will give you sex. OR (3) They may just enjoy proving themselves morally superior to the desperate guys who chase after them. "Sex, I really do not need sex, that's just something men do--unlike us angelic women."

"He's a bad boy!". You know the sort on your college campus or apartment complex or movie of the week. She rejects every decent guy out there. She chooses to hang out with the biggest barbarian she can find, and decides he is her BOYFRIEND. Said Boyfriend then proceeds to neglect her, beat her, borrow money from her and never return it. And then she complains to you (the nice guy) about it...or even expect you to bail her out! These women have choices, and if they act this stupidly you really do not want to know them. Let me note for every female "victim", there must be at least a dozen decent guys who would treat her well if she gave them the chance. Of course, she will not give decent guys a chance, nor surrender the sacred role of victim. And if we lived in a just society, someone would tell these gals to take responsibility for their choices...or to choose nice guys.

Turn it on its head. Whenever you hear popular wisdom, turn it upside down to get the reality.

"Mr Rite". First I must give credit to Don Steele for using the spelling "Mr Rite." Mr Rite is what many women are looking for. Him, The One, The Soulmate. In other words, Mr Rite is to women what Miss April is to men: a fantasy object. But while men usually get over their fantasies by the time they trudge on out of the college dating scene, women often retain theirs well into middle age. They seriously believe that somewhere out there is the perfect man for them. And all other men are not only unworthy but disreputable and trying to destroy their reputation. They know what you, my man, are after: just sex (horrors!), not the true love that Mr Rite will share with them. Consequently, they will treat you like a used tampon.

"My Boyfriend". See how long you can go without hearing some female using the magic words, "My Boyfriend!" Amazing how for all the talk about liberation, women still define themselves by the man on whose sleeve they must hang. Sometimes "My Boyfriend!" is a deliberate slap at all about them, because it says "look at me, I have a partner in my life, you do not, you loser!" Evil words indeed.

"I'm saving myself". There's nothing wrong with not having had sex, whether by choice or because you got rejected by 100% of your potential partners. What is wrong is that too many virgins, simply because they never had sex, think they are experts in it. Consequently, they will make all sorts of proclamations about sex which have not the slightest connection to reality. They also have little idea of the real difficulties involved in real sex (see the Sex Checklist, elsewhere on this site). Many virgins have the oddest ideas what sex is about and do not get the picture that there is a heck of a lot of difference between real sex and their masturbatory delusions.

Other times, "I'm saving myself", when translated into English, means, "I'm waiting for someone who makes more money."

If you are a virgin: keep quiet and learn about sex from those who have been there.

"You are such a nice guy". The operative words are "nice" and "guy." This can mean only one thing: "You don't stand a chance in hell, my man!"

what you can do

One Strike And You Are Out. If she plays a game, then it's over, THE END. Why?

snappy answers to female statements

"I'm not cheap."

"...she had grasped the inner meaning of the Party's sexual puritanism. It was not merely that the sex instinct created a world of its own which was outside the Party's control and which therefore had to be destroyed if possible. What was more important was that sexual privation induced hysteria, which was desirable because it could be transformed into war fever..." --George Orwell, in Nineteen Eighty-Four.