Consuming…
Strategic Asset Management brochure
Neal Stephenson’s The System
of the World
The usual meds
Must … post … blog. … A little … further. … Almost … there. …
Whew! …
Climbing that nose-hair rope to the blog perch was especially difficult today given the burns on my hands. Suffered them
during the fall in the hot coals … the ones I had to walk across to get to the rope. Thank God I was able to scam Atlas into
taking the sky off my shoulders.
Speaking of scams, the real reason for the latest gap between posts is that
I’ve been collaborating with a promising talent by the name of Peter Thalweg. He’s an up-and-coming humorist
working on a column called The Lights Are On. Recently he’s had me contacting Alternative Newsweeklies to try to
drum up some interest in his column. What a pest. But the kid has spunk, talent, pluck. Someday, could be a contender. Right
now, he’s just a big pain in the a**.
Some other things to catch up on:
I spent a little time thinking about creating another archive, similar to
ha!ku. This time it was for what I tentatively dubbed “Dumb Entendres.” They are short phrases that, thanks to some carefully
worded ambiguity, leave the reader wondering “huh?” For example:
- Carrying his over-sized ax, the woodsman logged many miles lumbering through the forest.
- Moses would have performed more miracles if not for the many nonbelievers on his staff.
- The assistant completed the poet’s work subversively—a situation the poet promptly reversed.
- “I don’t want anything to do with this stupid social club!” the disgruntled ex-member rejoined.
- “I’ll release Fido this time, but don’t let it happen again,” the dog catcher expounded.
- “On second thought, I don’t think I have enough bushes to border your entire backyard,” the landscaper hedged.
How about this: a Dumb Entendre in Ha!ku form for the season:
From Mardi Gras throng
A huge titter erupted
Beads flew everywhere
My current take is that these don’t merit any fanfare, web server space, or, for that matter, further attention whatsoever.
Perhaps the most significant thing I have to report is: Once again, this site has been there to dish out pabulum to The
Forgotten of the Googleverse. In the last couple weeks I’ve been a way station for the following searches:
Most eCommercey: “Sponge Bob zither,” surfing tattoos,” “perky pistols,” “rhino horns costume,” “Halliburton
suitcase collection”
Most Instructive: “Nymphs frolicking,” “Jewish gypsies,” “hearty appetizers,” “Goddess of incontinence,”
“verbal numchucks”
Most Disturbing: “Zappa yellow snow,” “Gene Weingarten buttocks,” “stroke my eel”
Once again, glad I could help!
Finally, it appears Puppet Master J has the makings of a world class zoologist. In a spurt of taxonomic
brilliance, last night he composed and posted the following placard (OK, Post-It note) on the bathtub in which his brother,
The Rabid Pixie, was luxuriating:
“THE Butt hole in the Bath tub exzibet”
Yeah, my kids are funnier than me.
