On Writing
(Part
2)
The other day, I wrote about my
personal writing history. Today I want to get specific
and consider my experience of writing.
There is a psychological state called
"flow" during which a person's mind, heart and soul are aligned. "Flow" is
described in many ways but it is often likened to meditation or
prayer. Whether it be meditating, praying, writing, running, painting or
any other activity one engages in with mind, body and soul, "flow" is a
cool experience. Hours pass as though they were moments.
Hard work is so fascinating it feels effortless.
I tend to
be pretty good at achieving "flow" in a variety of ways, not only when I
am writing. I tend to be the kind of person who throws herself
into all kinds of work deeply and passionately. For me, "flow" happens
a lot, but never more powerfully than when I am writing fiction. It
is interesting to me that I struggle terribly with business writing at
work. I can write an entire chapter of a novel before daylight on
a Saturday (at least during the months of Standard Time), but it can take
me a couple of hours to draft a three paragraph business letter.
I am struggling
with these essays. Maybe it is because I am rusty. After spending so
many months devoting myself exclusively to long fiction, I don't like writing short personal narrative
any more. I am doing it because it constitutes writing "something" and
my commitment is to write "something" every day, whether I feel
like it or not. It is definitely not a "flow" experience for
me.
At this point in the first draft,
the essay is approximately 300 words long; it has taken me more than
two hours. To avoid writing, I have put the dogs out, eaten some
crackers, poured a glass of wine, gone to the bathroom, inspected
the locks on the doors, checked my email twice and stopped
by several of my favorite blogs. This must be what ADD is like.
Conversely, writing fiction can put
me into a state of "flow" faster and more
deeply than anything else. Writing fiction involves creating a new world, one which
I more or less inhabit while I am writing about it. It is sometimes hard
to "come back" from writing fiction just as it is often difficult to "come
back" from a meditative or prayerful state.
Writing is not something I
choose to do. It is something I have
to do. For me writing is like prayer or music: it is my soul's
response to being in the world. I guess my Soul needs to participate in the adventure of
Creation.
Writing fiction is the most fun way to do that, but
any kind of creative activity will do in a pinch. This weekend I spent
hours working on my photo library, editing photos and making collections
to print and give as Christmas gifts. I made two collages of
photos that my husband will love (I hope). It was all very
creative and engaging. It wasn't writing, however. I
am trying to take break from fiction writing, at least until
after Christmas, because it is too all-consuming, and I do
have a few things I want to do for the
holidays. I wouldn't take any bets on whether
or not I'll make it until January without starting a new story!
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