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Just TOO Much ...

    Saturday, December 1, 2007

I have a little foible (well, I have lots and lots and lots of them, but right now I am considering one in particular).  Excess of almost any sort turns me off.   For example, I love food, and I like food in restaurants that is presented well.  However, when I go to restaurants where the quantities are excessive or on the rare occasions I find myself at buffets where there are huge vats of food in row upon row, I truly lose my appetite. I love chocolate above all other foods. The first time we went on a Holland America cruise and I attended their Dutch Chocolate Treat, I thought I might throw up.

My aversion to excess extends to all manner of things. I don't like excessively ornate architecture or overly decorated interior designs; if I had my way, our house would be virtually empty of everything except the most functional furniture and lots of books.  I don't like theme parties, with all their decorations. The very idea of a costume party would make me break out in hives, except for the fact that nobody I know would even think to invite me to such thing, so I don't worry about it too much. I don't like huge gestures: extravagant gifts, public displays of affection, just about anything done purely for "show".  I also do not like  excessively loud places or people.

It should be obvious by now where I am going with this.  The Holidays are upon us.  I always used to love Thanksgiving because it involved some of my favorite foods (dressing and cranberries) and was very simple.  I was never a huge fan of Christmas because, in America anyway, Christmas is sort of all about excess. I usually managed to carve out a few little traditions that I could enjoy and I ignored all the other hoopla. Now that "The Holidays" have turned into a Season that stars with Halloween and ends with the Super Bowl, I have all I can do to endure it, and there is virtually nothing about it I enjoy.

If it were just me, I would hole up in my house writing when I am not at work, and literally avoid The Holiday Season altogether.  I have no real objection to other peoples' excesses [.... well, actually I do, but I understand that I have no right to dictate to others, so I try not to rant about that too much].

The problem is, it isn't just me (the fact of which I constantly have to remind myself!!)  My family and friends get into the Holiday mood. DH and Daughter Dear love to decorate the house. They put up a tree and hang lights outside. DH never fails to get mad when I gush about how wonderful the house looks after he puts away the decorations. I've learned not to say "The house looks so great without all that shit everywhere," but he knows that is implied in my enthusiasm for our post-holiday return to normal.

I used to feel obligated to "help" put up the decorations because I was uncomfortable with the implied criticism that I'm a lazy no-good Scrooge if I didn't help.  However, after something like 15 years of "helping" and arguing the whole time, I quit.  DH puts up the decorations when I am not around.  If I am home when he takes the notion to decorate, I leave.  I know he still thinks I'm a lazy no-good Scrooge, but that's better than actually behaving like an evil witch sucking all his pleasure out of the decorating process.

For me sort of every day I spend in my home with my family is an occasion for Thanksgiving and Celebration. I really don't need "Special Holidays".  I realize that puts me out-of-synch with 99% of the rest of humanity, and 100% of my family and friends. 

I try. I really do try not to spoil the fun for others, but the more excessive, over-the-top and unrelenting the Season becomes, the more turned off I am by it. With each year, it becomes harder and harder for me to even pretend to go along so as not to spoil others' fun. 

I pity the poor people who have to deal with me between Halloween and the Super Bowl.  I'd love to spare them the misery. I'd love it if they could simply leave me out of their Holiday plans altogether.  I'd love to be able to leave today for a month-long retreat and come back after the worst is over.

Obviously that is not going to happen. So, I will just have to deal with it as best I can. This year, as every year, I will spend my holiday trying not to poop on somebody else's party. 

  © 2007 by InTheWilderness . All Rights Reserved