THINNING MY TAPE COLLECTION
Someone kicked my ass
in the night while I slept.
I think he did it with money.
I think he did it with wit.
I think he found that rare Pink Floyd
LP that I could never find,
even on the internet.
He probably has a radio show, and
he’ll play that record Thursday
and talk about me disparagingly.
I got a job as an announcer at
the junior high.
All day, kids with guns line up
and force me to play one song
“Dear God” by XTC,
or “Another Brick in the Wall Part 2”.
I wonder - why only eighties pop?
Why no teenage boy
forcing me at gunpoint to play
There’s a new dance sensation
which is sweeping the country.
Just stand still and I’ll demonstrate:
It involves waving your arms in the air