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Esoteric Climbing and Exploration in the Eastern Sierra

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    Useful Misinformation for Eastside Mountaineering

Sunday, August 31, 2003

How Much is that Rabbit in the Window?
 Installed a bunch more big-ass winders' today and nobody even knows how much we're getting paid.  More climbing and old-school aid techniques.  All the big lifting is over .....
I reported my rabbit sighting to cryptozoology.com[seelinkspg].  Check out my dialogue in the Forum section with this bird-watcher from NY.     Lateron...............
9:12 pm pdt

Saturday, August 30, 2003

How to get Paid real Money to go Climbing!
Installing 240lb.  windows with sharp corners and mouse-trap finger crushing spring action..  First we stand tippi-toe on a 6" ledge and drill into the concrete fully extendeded maximum reach overhead.  Then we get to lift all 120 of them up into place.  Everyone stay calm, and nobody gets hurt.  Run up and down ladders all day.  Forget your screws, then you get paid to climb a little more.  By the end of the day, I was done.  Tomarrow we'll do it again!  Stand on skinny window sills and lift windows in the beautiful eastern sierra, brought to you by god.  Always at this station.
9:14 pm pdt

Friday, August 29, 2003

Rise of the Machines.
M is right {see mailbag].   The machines are becoming self-aware.  The worms have expressed excitement at the prospect of inhabiting a fast  inter-connected web of electronic mycellium.  Don't take anything they say too seriously.  M is right- this has nothing to do with Mountaineering.
11:22 am pdt

On Line!
It took a whole weekend to do it, but the weather seems unsettled, and  me n' milo gotta put big ol' windows in at the High School.  No climbin for a few weeks, at least.  Bouldering season will be here soon, and i will go out and look at the girls and pretend like i'm not the hardman that i am [take that as you will].  If you read this, let me know what you think.  I yamin sibirspayse............
1:27 am pdt

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Summer 2003 climbs
Winter is for bouldering.  First I get all power-hungry and go for big ticks.  When I finally blow a tendon, it gets taped up, and I try to fit in as many Vo's as I can in a session.  By May, I'm going entirely for endurance, and I'm sick of boulders and college kids.  It's Peak season!  I've been climbing for 25+ years, and I find piles of rope and metal to be awkward and boring.
May- It's too hot for bouldering, so I start the season with solos in the Buttermilk front country, like Buttermilk Dome, S. Ridge, and the Fang, and Sharp's Scenic Stroll.
June-A long ridge in Pine Creek Canyon has been bugging me.  I solo about 500 feet, but it is more than I was ready for.  Remember to practice downclimbing in the winter when bouldering!
June 7- Tioga pass opens. I soloed After Six, Royal Arches, and the Grack. I practiced ultimate glissading on the last pitch of the downclimb on the Grack.
June 14- Last year, Jay Schifferdecker and I did a probable new route on a small peak above the Pine Creek Pass trailhead.  We called it the "Country Glass Arete" after the name of the company I work for, and for the wyrdness of the rock.  On this day, I soloed it, and added a more direct start [II,5.4].
June 15-Back again to the ridge up Pine Creek.  I forced the route a little furthur, solo.  It becomes apparent that the furthur I go, the longer is the downclimb.  It appears that topping out may put me miles from anywhere, with a long hike out.
June 21-Soloed Royal Arches, up and back, in sub-3 hours.  This is almost as fast as I was when I was young and foolish!
June 22-Soloed Snake Dike.  I've done this before, but this time the crux haired me out bad.  Of course, I did it anyway.
June 27-Wildness with the Tungsten City Band at the Mobile Station in Lee Vinning.
June 29-Milo and I attempt the North Ridge of Lone Pine Peak.  It's a bit more than we expected[we were soloing].  Arguing about bailing, Milo reaches into his pack and produces a 20' dog leash for a rap line.  Then things got scary for a little while.
July 5-Soloed the East Arete of Mount Humpfries with Milo and Rey[an oxymoron].  Eruo's on route with big packs and gear, franticaly searching for "the 5.2 handcrack".  Milo tells 'em "Yer standin' on it!"  We take 7 hours r.t
When we descend, the Euro kids try to follow us down, but we don't set a good example.
July 8-I eat a mushroom and get probed by alien intellegence{oh, well!]
July 12-Soloing with Milo and Rey and Mary the Mountain Dog.  We do the South Ridge on Basin[III,5.0].  The gully really sucked.  While downclimbing from the summit, Rey dislodges a microwaveoven sized rock.  It explodes on a boulder in front of me and shrapnel whizzes past both my ears.  It didn't hurt a bit.  Again, about 7 hours r.t.
July 13-Solo traverse of Crystal Crag above Mammothsouth to north[II, 5.6].  Again, a bit more than I expected, But a really good traverse.
July 19- Up the ridge in Pine Creek again, this time I bring Milo and a rope.
He gets bored with the route finding, so we try some sport climbing.  I got bored with sport climbing, so we drank some beer.
July 20-I get up early and set up the North Ridge of Mt. Tom.  Right away I realize I ain't gonna, so I take a nap next to Pine Creek instead.
July 26-NE gully of Mt. Laurel, solo.  [III, 5.2].  Lots of loose rock and tourists with big racks [thanx to Peter's new book!].  I catch up to an old fart soloing really fast, and it's my neighbor in Rovanna, Todd Bibler.  Running and scree surfing from the summit, I run right over a big blue rabbit the size of a collie dog.  Gotta good look at it, too bad for me!  Todd and I reached Convict Lake less than 4 hours after starting.  Upon reaching the lake, I become unexplicably very ill, and barley made it to my truck.
July 27-Milo, Rey, Mary the Mountain Dog and I recon the backside of Wheeler Ridge.
August 1-Bought this here big hard drive to go with my little belt buckle.
August 3-Soloed the SE buttress of Paiute Crag #11, traversed the crest to the summit of Paiute #10.  Looks like no one ever goes up here!  Tons of horrifying loose rock, but the narrow crest was really solid and steep purple rock. [both peaks, III 5.4].  5 hours r.t.  [note:  Secor's guide seems to confuse crags #9 and #10.  Roper's old green book is better here.]
August 9-Milo and I solo the crest of Wheeler Peak[II, 4th class].  We argue constantly about grades and routefinding, and had a mello good time.
August 25- Soloed the SE face of Mt. Emmerson[III 5.4].  Again, bigger than I expected, so I hurry, and take less than 5 hrs. r.t.  Strangely, while in the middle of the crux pitch, I spat out a big chunk of my wisdom tooth.  Eww!
  -the summer is drawing to an end.  I hope to get in a couple more peaks before bouldering season starts!
July 27
12:20 pm pdt

Welcome to Wormspew
It's time.  This ol' hillbilly needs to put up or shut up.  The universe has told me that I need to pass on the lessons that I've learned[as well as some I am yet learning].  Unfortunately, the only thing I am truley expert at is the Art of Being a Dammned Fool.
This summer has been strange and eventful.  My midlife crisis unfolds with a need to find out if I am as Bad-assed as I always thought I am.  By proving to myself my strengths, I must confront my frailities head-on.  And whuddya know, now here's some webspace where I may excrete my opinions and misadventures upon an unsuspecting world.
While the overt subject of this site is Eastside climbing,  I can't really give much
flavor of what it's like for me{at least},  unless I'm willing to write about "the flip side".  After a while, the routes are all alike.  The things that I remember are the wierdness, and the humility involved.  Hopefully, I will be able to discuss things like the Giant Blue Rabbit I saw on Mt. Laurel, or the time Milo and I bailed off a big 5th class peak using a dog leash for a rap line.  Then there was the three famous guys a few weeks ago who did a new route on Birch Mountain.  Shrouded in secrecy, this incident illustrates that danger may seek out those who try to avoid it.  Perhaps I'll even mention the strange entity
that demanded that I buy a computer and start this site.
Read my disclaimer.  I know I'm nuts.  But I really do think I know what I'm talking about.
11:03 am pdt

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Clicking on the links above access older posts from my archives

Disclaimer   The opinions offered here are mine.  I believe that sucsess on the peaks depends on trusting yourself.  If you do not have a trusting relationship with your body and mind, or if you are not sure, or if you are unwilling to provide the commitment, then you should probably stick with sport climbing and such.  To the mountain ecosystem, you are only a rich supply of nutrients, so step carefully!

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