Friday, December 3, 2004

Where's Warren?

I try really, really hard to ignore broad lists like the "1,000 best books in the English language" or the "Top Zillion Albums of All Time". They're way too large to be meaningful in any way. There are so many records I've never heard, movies I've never seen and books I've never read, that arguing their relative merits is just a silly exercise in angry futilty. Now, cut it down to something like the 20 best Talking Heads songs of all time and we can have a freaking discussion! Nevertheless, I found myself irresistably drawn to the train wreck that is the Rolling Stones' Top 500 Songs of All Times (that's Rolling Stones Magazine, not the band, although we probably could have a discussion about the best 500 Rolling Stones songs as well). Not rock and roll songs, just songs (actually, they do say rock and roll songs in the actual article). Not of the last 20 years, but of all time. So not only did I take a look at it but I actually did some analysis.

Isn't it interesting that over half of the songs on the list are from the 70's? And most of the rest are from the 60's? Does that say more about music and rock and roll or does it say something about what a bunch of old farts RS talked to?

Okay, yeah, I know this was pretty geeky, but I'm not going get into an argument about whether Like a Rolling Stone or (Can't Get No) Satisfaction is really the number 1 r'n'r song of all time (actually we all know it's My Generation). They're both great songs and both deserve to be near the top. And I find it perfectly acceptable that whole categories of bands are not represented (not much prog here for example - no Yes or Rush or ELP). But there were definitely some things that I found odd (and maybe a little ridiculous):

- No Zevon?

- Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? is on the list but Every Picture Tells a Story isn't?

- No Zevon?!

- Where's Traffic? Is The Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys too long for the cocaine-addled fogies they had rating these?

- How Soon is Now? didn't finish higher than 486?

- Where the fuck is Jessica?

- No Zevon!?!?!

- 3 Neil Youngs but only 2 Hank Williams?

- 3 Neil Youngs?

- No goddamn Zevon?!?!?!?!

- 1 Tom Petty?  And it's Free Fallin' - where're Breakdown, The Waiting, Refugee, Even the Losers?

- No Talking Heads, X, Gang of Four, Violent Femmes, XTC? You're telling me that nothing Andy Partridge or Colin Moulding ever wrote is Top 500 material?

- The only three songs they could come up with since 1997 were two Eminem joints and Hey Ya?  Hey fucking Ya?  Didn't Ryan Adams or Wilco or Radiohead or Beck record anything in the last 7 years?

- Only 3 Elvis Costello songs (one of which he didn't write) and none since 1979.

- Where the fuck is Zevon?!

- No Todd Rundgren, Joe Jackson, Pretenders, Squeeze? Almost every song on Argybargy is better than half the list.

- No Warren Zevon - you're telling me that Werewolves of London, Mohammed's Radio, Poor Poor Pitiful Me, Excitable Boy, Jeannie Needs a Shooter, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead...  none of them rated in the Top 500? To quote Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest: "Eeeewwww, that's not right!".

Over 10% of the songs are from four sources - the Beatles, Dylan, the Stones and Elvis (Presley, not the good one). Somebody needs to kick the walkers out from under these guys and let them know that the 60's are dead. And it sounds like they ain't far behind...

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Cloning (Not Enough Tonys)

Well, this has been pretty much the week from hell for me - working tonight but taking a little break to say howdy. Cloning seems like a possible solution, but I just wanted you all to know that none of the following Tonys you might find on the Internet are the real Tony Plutonium:

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Giving Thanks

As usual, I'm a little late in posting this, but of course I usually don't put Christmas decorations away until April or make New Year's resolutions until June.

I'm thankful for...

...having a wonderful wife of 20 years who thinks that Kohl's 5:30am opening the day after Thanksgiving is an abomination.

...having a job and one that pays reasonably well. In previous years I would have said a "good" job, but that's not realistic right now.

...a family of origin that is composed of three of the most fiercely independent, individual people I've ever met, each of them very cool in their own special way.

...friends that, while I don't see them nearly often enough, still manage to remain friends no matter how seldom we actually get together.

...friends and acquaintances that I've made via the Internet - shouts out to jw, mapgirl, ed cone, billy tb poet and many others.

...a Carolina football team that is learning how to win and a Carolina basketball team that is learning to go for the kill!