1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an  ambulance.

   2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

   3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all
   the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
   healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

   4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers,
   large fries, and a diet coke.

  5. Only in America......do banks
   leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

   6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of
   dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

   7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen
   calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
   someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

   8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
   and buns in packages of eight.

  9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to   describe the 
      process so well:
   'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and   'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
   creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines
     with Braille lettering.

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed   through 
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on  consumer goods:

   1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". 
       [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]

   2. On a bag of Fritos: "You  could be winner!   No purchase
       necessary.  Details inside".   (Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

   3. On a bar of Dial soap:   "Directions: Use like regular soap."
       [And that would be how...?]

  4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving suggestions:   Defrost."  
     [But it's *just* a   suggestion]

   5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert   (printed on bottom of box):  "Do
      not turn upside down". [Oops, too   late!]

  6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot after 
     heating". [As sure as night  follows the day . .. ..]

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". 
    [But wouldn't this save  even more time?]

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate 
    machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce the 
    rate of construction accidents if we could just  get those 5-year-olds with 
   head-colds]