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My
shamanic initiation began sometime in 2003
when
I asked to be initiated, after having met some major preparatory life challenges. Not that initiation was some kind of graduation from some type of
curriculum. Except perhaps the curriculum of life----but explaining that paradox I'll leave for another time.
More than a year and a
day later, several formal initiation activities took place in the context of several months of focused readiness work,
such as making many many prayer ties, as well as post ceremonial events that continued and are continuing the shifts
in my life that the initiation began.
I
cannot talk about many
of the details of my initiatory experiences. What I can relay is posted here. I may be able to answer other, specific questions relating to my personal experiences, if you wish to ask. Those of you who are curious about the more generic aspects of initiation in general can ask my initator, WhiteWolfWalksBetween.
The photo above right is of the sweat lodge, the lodge altar, and prayer ties that were an essential part of the formal initiation activities. Included
in the ceremonial activities of my initiation was a formal period of isolation in
the lodge, although
other periods of informal seclusion occurred prior to the initiation ceremony and have taken place since. This photo is a
re-creation, taken the
day after the actual event.
Getting the lodge ready for the ceremony was one of the pre-initiation tasks I performed which included
clearing the ground in the lodge of all vegetation. This entailed working on hands and knees, using a
hand hoe and dandelion root pick to scrape the ground cover away until only bare earth remained. It was the first time
this suburban princess had had her hands in the soil since childhood. But there was an enormous satisfaction in making
the lodge ready by being in contact with the Earth.
The Four Grandmothers
Mountain peaks of the Grand Tetons, Montana
Indirectly part of my initiation,
the Four Grandmothers represent
the hub of the Medicine Wheel event
that took place across the western US
on Saturday, May 8th.
The beauty and majesty of the Rocky Mountains
have always been medicine to my soul.
The day before the initiation, WhiteWolf and
I participated in the regional Medicine Wheel ceremonies that were taking place throughout the Western half of the US.
The Wheel, with its hub in the Grand Tetons, ran right through WolfDance and it was exciting to do our ritual knowing that
it was part of the chorus of many others on that day.
WhiteWolf felt called for us to do a Pipe Ceremony. I had never been
involved in a Pipe Ceremony before, although I had read about them. Without going into all the details of that,
I can say that it was a moving experience to participate in such a sacred ritual. I learned new things about prayer
in that ritual, and I strongly felt the presence of the entities we called on to be with us. Even though the pow-wow
blend tobacco may have been easier on my throat than normal prayer tobacco, it burned as I inhaled and I remembered why
I never got addicted to smoking----I can't figure out how to take the smoke into my lungs. Physiologically I just couldn't
do it. I think now I was probably more imbibing than inhaling; that is, I was drinking in the smoke as if taking liquid
through a straw rather than breathing it in. Maybe the spirits were laughing at my ineptness, but I don't think so.
Near the sweat lodge for my initiation, an earthen altar,
shown at left, was ringed
by prayer ties, and sprigs of the sacred sage. Atop the altar 2 deer antlers
provided an arc of protective power for representations of the energetic family of allies joining me in spirit during this
day. Corresponding talismans for each family member absorbed protective energies
present there.
This initiation
was for me a rite of passage that acknowledged endings and beginnings in my life that have barely been acknolwedged before or celebrated. It honored the transformations of energy, heart, mind, body and spirit that have occurred up to this time, during the ceremony iteself, that happened afterward
while we were still on the land, and are still to come. Some of these transformations
are mundane, and amusing-------for example, after having to build a fire and keep it going in order to cook while at
WolfDance, I am finding myself cooking more since I've been home, and turning much less to fast microwavable meals.
Some of the transformations are life altering. One of the most profound effects has been
that I gained a sense of being welcomed into new communities, new relationship contexts, and a
new sense of family. More stories of shifts and transformations are posted here.
What
I can say at this point about what this initiation has given me is that I have a new sense of belonging. This may not
seem as significant to you as it is for me. But as an adopted child----raised by parents whose values and customs and belief system never felt natural
to my core being, and growing up in the culture of the conservative WASP midwest where diversity referred to the Catholics and the Jews, and all
other groups where invisible and disenfranchised ----belonging to a community that feels like home is a big deal to me.
Now
not only do I feel a belonging to a community of a combined spiritual lineage that resonates with my core Self, I also feel
a belonging to a community of people and spirits who understand to one degree or another what it means to be part of the circle
of life. I am no longer an orphan, but rather a member of a rainbow tribe. I've
come home, and been accepted, as is, with welcoming celebrations.
After the formal initiation ceremony,
I was quite disoriented, or maybe tranced-out is a better word---and very very cold. I sat for a long while next to
the the wood stove in the main cabin, in the photo on the right. It took quite a while to feel the ground beneath my
feet, even after the post-initiation dinner of sauerbraten and magic bars, which I had made ahead of time and kept frozen
as a way to add to the "ice" in the coolers. I think I slept in until after noon the next day, and even then I wasn't
quite steady on my feet or fully back in my body. Parts of my consciousness were still engaged in the initiation, and
remained that way for the next few days-----and indeed, to some extent are still not yet fully integrated. But then,
that's the magic of an initiation. :)
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