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Secret Radio is designed for adults. Sensitive subject matter that may be upsetting to younger readers is present in the text. Teens should read only with parental supervision.

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Entry 120: Tuesday, May 11, 2004

I am not Grace Jovian. In fact, there is no Grace Jovian. The youthful Grace at GIBC is a fictional character, and the more mature Grace with two children and a husband is also a fictional character. They're all fiction: Cinn, Lilly, Chad, Preacher Mack, Rush Pole. Yet have we seen those people in our lives? Of course we have. Many readers recognize who inspired Preacher Mack, and yet Preacher Mack remains a fictional character.

The use of fiction to present a framework for contemplation of the sacred is the absolute oldest use of fiction. The earliest use of literary (written) fiction is to illuminate truths. The modern Christian use of fiction to tell an escapist tale of unrealistic, unlikely romantic love in far off places between pioneer women and men, or between Scottish lasses on the moor and their brave and gallant lads, is a rather new use of fiction. It's called "dumbing down". While I recognize (and would even insist upon) the necessity of a percentage of modern fiction being mere escapist, this level of fiction as the most typical fiction from a culture (ie, the conservative Christian culture) is disastrous.

Fiction serves as a legitimate pointer to truths. It always has. Shakespeare isn't studied because his plays are as entertaining as "The Simpsons." The plays are studied because they offer a valuable commentary on human nature and historic events.

I was surprised at several turns with audience response to the story, especially the constant request for "how true is this"? It's completely true as far as I can determine, but it's completely a work of fiction. No, there is no Grace Jovian (though there are people like her). No, there is no Preacher Mack (though there are people like him). Yes, men in power in religious circles abuse power and aggrandize themselves. Yes there are "sacrificial virgins" that still get sacrificed today. And yes, the Bible has been used as a shield to hide gross corruption through false teaching.

The extent of the way that modern Evangelicalism in general and Fundamentalism in particular has hammered the use of fiction into a uniquely effete and misguided form of communication also became clear when it was suggested (and clearly expected by some readers) that I present the plan of salvation in the story. There is a premise in Christian fiction that if you pin the five step plan into a story, you instantly make the fiction worth reading or at least more Christian.

But Secret Radio is designed for those who already know the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And the Bible teaches that salvation is meant to come by the forthright preaching of the Word of God, not through fiction. In the New Testament, nobody after Christ ever uses so much as a parable to teach anybody the Word of God. And the Lord Jesus Himself used parables only to illustrate what He was directly teaching from the Scripture. Parables highlighted Truth in His sermons but He was remarked for His knowledge of the Scripture, not for His parables.

Historically, when ever believers begin to use sermons and fiction interchangeably, the purity of the preaching suffers. I do not use fiction to win souls to Christ. God has ordained that the direct exposition of His Word is the method that He is pleased to use to spread the Gospel. Fiction can only demonstrate; it cannot validate or prove. But fiction can contribute to the direct witness of Scripture by highlighting truths and showing the glory of what is right and the horror of sin.

My second surprise was that people who realized the story was not a piece of fluff became offended by it. Some readers have been trained by so much dumbed down literature in contemporary Christianity to think that fiction is never supposed to address hard issues or gross sin. Yet addressing hard issues is precisely the work that fiction does best. Fiction causes people to reflect on issues and truths. Go read "To Build a Fire" and consider the hard truths about the sovereignty and indifference of nature vs. man. Go read Flannery O'Connor's "Good Man is Hard to Find" and see if it doesn't leave you feeling chilled about how mortal and vulnerable you are. To be effective, fiction must do its work without gratuitousness. But fiction has a work to do and is well suited for that task.

My third surprise was the whole "oral sex" reaction from the Fighting Fundamentalist Forums. First, I will record right here that not one person who accused me or blamed me online ever approached me privately, though I have always had an e-mail posted on the SECRET RADIO blog. Fundamentalists are seldom Biblical in their responses, and they have a "wolfpack" or "dogpile" mentality. So I was not really surprised that eventually a dogpile formed on some issue somewhere in SECRET RADIO. I knew it was just a matter of time, but I was surprised at the trigger that started the reaction.

SECRET RADIO doesn't have any eroticism in it. It uses the term "oral sex". It doesn't describe oral sex. The term is used to name a sin---as a sin. Yet apparently some of my sensitive readers from the FFF suffered devastating spiritual damage from reading the term "oral sex."

But I am sensitive to those genuinely harmed in conscience. I realize that minds conditioned by dumbed down fiction really may be distressed at serious and heavy content in fiction. Several times, I have suggested that readers so easily offended should stop reading the story. And I posted a clear caution in the story header about the mature content. But I doubt many of the fundies did stop reading. Fundamentalists love being offended and usually come back for more. Certainly, when ever a complaint popped up in the FFF, readership for the next few days would increase by 30 - 90 percent.

Not that everybody was shocked or dismayed. In the melee over the term "oral sex", Don Elbourne, Pastor Bob Lemmon, Mark Jones, and several others made clear statements that the subject matter was well handled and not gratuitous. I appreciated their efforts to make the matter more clear to readers. And whether my regular readers openly agreed to do this or not I don't know, but soon after the controversy, a band of readers began to regulary post and e-mail comments and encouragement to me. I'm very thankful to them for the time they took to do this. I was tremendously encouraged.

Other less significant complaints about SECRET RADIO surfaced: "it's a soap opera" came up a couple times, I don't watch soap operas but I do watch cliff hangers, and that was the model I used for SR. The accusation of "sleazy" was also leveled, but without a specific quote. I attributed it to more of the "oral sex" reaction. In good conscience, I say that I never wrote anything "sleazy" in Secret Radio. I was trying to show a sleazy place and point out the human dignity of the victims of that place. If the sensibilities of other readers were offended (which can happen), all I could do was urge them not to read it.

Other readers felt that in posting under a pen name, I was excusing myself from responsibility. The use of pen names (especially when the writer eventually unmasks) is an old and acceptable technique in fiction. It forces attention to what is being said and does not allow dishonest readers the opportunity to attack the writer. Fundamentalism is full of people who attack and try to "shout down" the writer, and I wanted to say what I had to say before the controversy descended into inevitable personal attack. In the presentation of my views, I have the right to assure an uninterrupted presentation, and I guaranteed that right with a pen name. Charles Dickens and Benjamin Franklin both used pen names to high light issues and then came forward when their writing was complete.

And it's pretty ironic to have a person who uses a screen name blame me for using a pen name, by the way. Yes, I am coming forward. Keep reading the posts! We'll get to my real name!

On the flip side of the criticisms, some valid corrective remarks have been made: first, that Christ is pointed out but not fully demonstrated. I want to go back and show more clearly the work of Christ in the lives of Amy Carmichael and Cinn. The story has references to His grace, but readers have suggested that this aspect of the story needs to be more fully developed, and I plan to do so in the revision process.

The truth is that even in a place like GIBC, Christ indwells His people and supplies them with grace. And the consistent, diligent reading of the Scripture is the best teacher of Christ. Amy Carmichael comes into the story as a pretty mature Christian in terms of her faith in Christ. But Cinn's growth really begins at GIBC, not because of the place, but in spite of it. While the teachers are nattering on about long skirts and big hair, Cinn raids the small library for the Christian classics by Matthew Henry and Charles Spurgeon and grows in knowledge and understanding as she studies Scripture with these learning aids. But her growth needs more of the limelight.

Another legitimate criticism is that even though every scandal depicted in the story can find a counterpart in the real world (and all in one Bible college), there are so many scandals that readers not familiar with IFB corruption may find the story hard to believe. For the sake of conveying a stronger impact, some readers have suggested lightening the "scandal load". Such a change requires some thought, but I am seriously thinking of doing so.

It has also been suggested that in the story opener, there needs to be a more comprehensive explanation of what Fundamentalism is and where it has come from. Currently, SECRET RADIO is designed for Fundamentalists and former Fundamentalists: ie, people who already know the culture.

But a friend who worked for several years in publishing finds the work publishable if it is broadened further in its target audience. I'm taking this into consideration as well. I had not thought of publishing SECRET RADIO anywhere but on the web, but as Fundamentalism remains a sect not held accountable within itself, the publication of such a book may shed the light that is needed to reveal the dark shadows behind the suit and tie image that places like GIBC present.

More tomorrow, Lord willing!
// posted by Grace @ 1:12 AM Comments by Squawkbox.tv - Comments(8)

Entry 121: Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I wrote SECRET RADIO because of the problem among Fundamentalists that so many do not view the victims of IFB Fundamentalism as real people. The children whose parents divorced because of the insane demands that a church placed on them (or because a preacher committed adultery with a man's wife), the sodomized boys, the molested girls, the seduced, etc., are forgotten by many of those in power in Fundamentalism. So I wanted to make the victims real people to the readers, without getting too graphic.

Grace herself has this problem of not seeing human beings. As soon as she meets Cinn and Lilly, she sees only two problems from SONRISE. But God has given Grace two amazing people to care for, and Grace learns to see them under the light of the Love of God. From this beginning, the story branches out to present others as real people. Grace sometimes fails, but others prompt her to remember the humanity of others, even of those who hate her. This ability to see another person as a human being is negated in IFB Fundamentalism. People are numbers; we witness to people like us; We expect "nice" people to get saved, and we expect gays, democrats, and Calvinists to be horrible, to go to hell, and they deserve it more than the "nice" people did. Our leaders in pulpits even call people names. But such behavior reveals the lack of knowledge in those who claim church office in Fundamentalism, as well as a lack of confidence in Christ.

Fundamentalism sets down rigid parameters that we project onto every person we meet. Preachers tell us that men must be this, and women must be this. Believers must be this, and politicians must be this. Actually, the Scripture says "Preachers must be this..." and the rest of us are given a lot more leeway. We're allowed to grow in grace, but the man who has not reached spiritual maturity and scholarly competency in Scripture may not be an elder. Period. And if he breaks the basic code of morality and expertise in Scripture, he is to be removed from office. Period.

Somehow these requirements have gotten switched to a situation in which the people must please the preacher, and he is entitled to berate others, harangue others, control others, and rail against anybody he dislikes. All contrary to Scripture! He is to be grave, sober, and primarily concerned with knowing the Scripture. His life must show grace, restraint, love, service, and sobriety. Two or three witnesses are sufficient to call for an investigation of his behavior.

So I wanted to show the catastrophe of young people coming under the rule of such erring men who rule such a rigid and inflexible environment. Many of the characters, including Grace, have been hurt by complex and painful situations, in which everything was done to maintain proper appearance of Christian respectability. Other characters have abundant good will but no sense. And others need specific preparation for new roles in their adult lives.

But Fundamentalism has its roles already prepared for the girls. Not one of those roles meets the needs or suits the skills of the girls in the story. Grace is a managerial genius gifted with compassion, foresight, thoroughness, organization, and leadership. Yet she is punished for doing a good job and is chased out of her job. Cinn, the mathematical genius in the rough, scrubs floors. Lilly, gifted with amazing artistic genius is only punished for her work and curbed by the system at GIBC. Though she finds abundant uses for her cartoons, her skills are entirely ignored. Rivalry, competition, and aggression are the rules at GIBC, not love, forbearance, and tolerance.

And Fundamentalism demands a "right here; right now" sanctification, which results in many preachers lying like the devil to promote themselves as godly men, bragging about their own righteousness, and making deals to promote each other. Then when one of them offends the others too much, they have to use the dogpile method of expsoing, denouncing, and running around yelping and barking to draw attention to the ousted and discredited member. If you confront (or document) a preacher twisting the Scripture outright to serve his vanity, he and his cronies might lie right to you and say it was not wrong. The reason for this is that a Fundamentalist preacher has to live up to a form of sanctification that simply does not exist. So many of them do a lot of pretending, lying, and counter accusing in order to assure that they are worthy of the term "preacher". And everythng that they do displays that their ignorance of Scripture has made them apparently incompetent to claim the office of eldership in God's flock.

Salvation is by grace through faith, and so is sanctification, and so it comes to us at the good pleasure of our God. He extends good will to us because of Christ. But everybody has different abilities and different powers of perception and learning. Everbody has a different background. We all come to Christ at different points in our lives from each other. Cinnabar, by her account, has been saved only for a year or so when Grace Jovian befriends her. But Cinnabar's Christian life blossoms into an unshakeable faith. She is able to wait on the Lord very soon in her first year at GIBC. But Grace herself, writing as an adult, still battles doubts and still needs all things proved out to her. And yet Grace, with that tender conscience, puts herself on the line again and again for what is right.

Grace lives out all the faith that she has, and I admire that quality in her and have known Christians like her. Amy Carmichael enters the story loving God and expressing the Love of God to everybody she meets, but she is not worldly wise, and the story suggests that Amy Carmichael is trapped partly by her innocent good will but partly by flattery and attention. Generous and kind hearted and naive, she is easily led from her own promise to the man she loves, and all of Grace's good sense cannot call Amy Carmichael back to reality. It takes months for her to realize she has been deceived.

For Amy Carmichael, there will never be Cinnabar's deeply philosophical agreement with the Truth of Scripture, nor Grace Jovian's brave, forthright actions of obedient good works, but rather a loving, generous, kind hearted generosity. Amy Carmichael stays close to God's Word, but even in doing so is not really strong in understanding more than the straightforward commands and promises of Scripture. Life and experience will increase Amy Carmichael's understanding, even as it will increase Grace Jovian's faith, and it will increase Cinn's desire to labor in good works beyond her mind. This is the Sanctification process in each of them; each grows according to what God has made the girl to be, and flourishes in the strengths He has given to them.

The rigidity of Fundamentalism does not allow for the type of growth that the grace of God nourishes, for God attends to what He thinks is best in us, but Fundamentalism has a clearly defined set of rules and behaviors it exacts.

Tomorrow...the MASK comes off...
// posted by Grace @ 1:01 AM Comments by Squawkbox.tv - Comments(2)

Entry 122: Thursday, May 13, 2004

Before I reluctantly take the mask of Grave Jovian off , I want to comment on her character. Grace was not meant to be the spiritual center of the story. She is the moral center. Grace does the right thing because she has a sensitive and yet strong conscience and has been pretty well taught in what is right and wrong. She is well named "Grace" because she is the blessing of God to whoever comes in contact with her.

Grace fixes everything for others in the course of a spiritual battle where she is often besieged and heartsick. It never even occurs to her not to help other people. I WISH I were Grace Jovian, who at the age of 21 or 22 has such a mature approach to those who suffer. In spite of some immaturity about some things, Grace looks after the needy with a complete lack of self consciousness.

Three times in the story, Grace comes to a point of deeply pondering her relationship with God. She truly wonders and worries about how to live a life pleasing to Him, and each time, Cinn answers the questions in her mind with the simple call, "Grace." In that sense I mean to imply a hope for Grace. She is named for the very power that will bring her through, but at GIBC, Grace herself has not yet learned that she must diligently search the Scripture and know it to the core. She sees that Cinn and Amy Carmichael grow in spite of their setbacks, but she doesn't quite see the essential need to study the Bible in depth. What gets Grace through is that she already knows the Bible better than most people at GIBC. But there is no end to knowing the Bible, and that recognition that she needs to attend to diligent study (not just devotional reading) of the Bible to understand its wisdom. The Bible has an answer for places like GIBC, and the gross sin that Grace sees is a sign of the judgement of God on the place for its sin and duplicity. But Grace doesn't know the Scripture well enough to know that.

No, I am not Grace Jovian. I never went to GIBC, or Hyles Anderson (the school that many readers associated with GIBC). I went to Bob Jones University, and I had a great experience there. It was nothing (or almost nothing) like GIBC. I knew people who attended Hyles-Anderson and other small IFB schools. I saw what such places did to them. I am, as most people guessed long ago (hardly a big secret!) Jeri Massi. BASSENCO, on the Fighting Fundamentalist Forums.

Cinn was based loosely off a colleague of mine from graduate school who had a very happy home life, was a godly young woman, and was mathematically brilliant and unassuming. I simply cast her into the role of a person left at a home like SONRISE and played out how I thought she would come through it. But if she were to see the story, she would not recognize herself at all. The basis is pretty superficial.

I made Lilly up and based her looks off a girl I worked with a year ago, a free spirit who had a child like air about herself but was very worldly wise and yet kind hearted.

Pixie came from a mix of people. In terms of her looks and demeanor, she resembles Jo Grant, a companion to the Doctor in Doctor Who. Her experience and personality are based off a person I once knew who fell into such corruption.

Amy Carmichael was based off two roommates I once had (at different times). I sort of mixed them together. Jim was based off a guy I knew back in high school who loved a girl named Lynn very much. But their story is not quite so epic as what I wrote for Jim and Amy Carmichael.

Mary (remember her?) was based off a roommate I had in college. Marcia was pure invention, so was Verity, except I did know one girl once who could not stop talking, but she was not as witless as Verity. Polly was based off someone I knew, and Kaeron was based from a mix of people.

All of the girls are individuals, and there's no room for individuals at schools like GIBC. Some of them fit into the system any way they could---through sex like Pixie, or through intrigue and power plays like Polly, or through making peace with the system and unquestioning willingness like Kaeron (at first). But it just doesn't work. You either get used, or beaten, or turned into a horrible microcosm of the system, or you break free. But not everybody who breaks free comes to Christ. Spiritual damage is done in places like GIBC, and I wanted to show that, too. Grace herself gets away with a greater moral strength, but she is spiritually damaged at the end of her senior year.

For her, and for a lot of people who get out of schools like GIBC, there is a need to recover, and a need to see what Christianity really is. People have to stop talking at you so much, and you have to have some room to grieve, and you desperately need to buy a good, solid, work-your-way-through-Romans Bible study, and start with that, and work your way through the Book of Romans. And then do Galatians.

There are doctrinal issues at stake after schools like GIBC, and the sooner you learn them, the better. And many IFB-KJVO preachers don't preach doctrine or doctrinal thinking, so diligent Bible study is the best way to learn the core truths of Justification by Grace and Sanctification by Grace. Good doctrinal knowledge is actually the crucial first step to working your way through bad experiences at IFB colleges. There's a reason some preachers make light of doctrine: it will undo them.

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