Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Grace Triumphant 022
I have been reading your journal with a great
deal of interest. I am happy to tell you that
your husband has not really committed adultery
in the bibilical sense because the girl he took
is not married. If you think through the story
of David and Bathsheba, you will remember that
God, through Nathan the prophet, told David
that God Himself had provided David with many
wives. And if David had wanted more women, God
was willing to provide him with more.
For a man to have more than one woman is not a
sin. Polygamy is not a sin, because God wouldn't
have given and offered David more wives to have
Why do we fundamentalists draw our lines away from
the biblical model?
You should understand that your husband's only sin
was slight dishonesty with you and failing to provide
for the woman he has taken. You women should understand
that your role is to accept what men have to do to be
satisfied and be thankful for a good provider. I urge
you to reconcile with your husband as quickly as
All for One and One for All Baptist Church
Burning Sands, Utah
The children have gone to Sunday School and church with Greg. I can't face church. People know. Greg called Friday night, and I got my ultimatum into words: He has to leave that job. Now, at last, I can be angry with him more than sad. He certainly does love that job more than he loves me.
He hasn't closed down the credit card account, and I can see by the online bill that there have been no more motel visits. From the credit card, our checking account, and a small savings account we've kept for emergencies, I've extracted $35,000 and put it into my own account. Greg has a 401K, and we've created several small investment funds over the years. He'll have to cash out some of them to pay off the credit card debt I created. I don't want to ruin us financially, but I know I need some type of protection, some means of my own if we legally separate, until I can begin to work.
And tomorrow, I must visit a lawyer. I don't feel ready for divorce, but I also understand Greg's mind. It's better for me to astonish him at the very beginning with a show of strength and preparation. And I have to learn, like it or not, how to go about the process of securing a life for myself and the children.
The house is still dark because I haven't drawn back the curtains. We gave Tahlia back to Terri yesterday. She is house sitting an English Setter, a good sized dog (though smaller than Tahlia), who was more outright playful with the children yesterday than Tahlia has been. The Setter is a neutered male, white with black spots, a descendent of the line that is still used for hunting, rather than show.
Yesterday, Ben kept throwing a ball for him when we all went to the park together, and Jack (the dog's informal name), only stared after it and then looked expectantly back at Ben. English Setters point, but they don't retrieve. Terri had Jack on a flexi-leash. She passed it over to Ben and told him to just run, and Jack would run with him.
That was an understatement. Jack easily kept up with Ben and then Ben let him out to the full extent of the flexi-leash. He really is a beautiful dog, with a beautiful gait.
"How long are you keeping him?" I asked Terri.
"Probably a few weeks. He's retired from the field competitions. We just need a family to take him in." She said this with such elaborate off-handedness that I suspected her right away.
I was about to say something to remind her that this is no time to get a dog when Rachel blurted, "Mom, couldn't we have him?"
"Honey, Jack is a hunting dog. We can't keep him."
"Well, we're looking to settle him in with a family," Terri said with that annoying blandness. "He won't pine for hunting or field trials if he's exercised for about thirty minutes a day."
"Terri!" I said sharply. And she stopped. But I had another horrible night last night. I wake up all the time, and I feel frightened. I was thinking of having more locks and a new alarm system installed. But the children love Jack. And he seems very good with them, more genuinely interested in making friends with them than the gentle but business-like Tahlia.
There's no use in moping around here while Greg has the children. I'm going to call Terri and ask if I can take Jack out for a walk.