Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Grace Triumphant 017
March 14
We had two more great days with Jim and Amy Carmichael and their family. Greg did call in the evenings to talk with the children, and when he was finished, Ben would say, "He wants to talk to you, Mom."
"And I would say, "Thank you, Son," and then step out of the room, end the call, and turn off the phone.
I did speak with my mother-in-law. She told me Greg had moved out and only wanted me to come back home and try to work things out. Greg was angry about the money I had withdrawn, not raging angry, but very annoyed at what he called my impetuousness. "Let him take money from his 401K and repay it," I told her. "I want an escape route. And he made that necessary."
"All right Grace, all right." She hurriedly backpedaled from expressing his displeasure to me. She didn't want to hear what he had done, and I didn't blame her. We were putting her in the middle, and this also had to stop. I did apologize to her the day we left.
In a way that reminded me of Greg in his better life, she said, "It's not a trouble, Grace. There has to be a calm way for you to think through everything and clearly tell him what he has to do to win you back."
"And determine if he can really do it," I added gently. "I'm not sure he can. But I'll be back in a day or two, and you won't be in the middle any more."
The one odd thing was that the morning after Greg's first phone call to the children, I couldn't find my cell phone. I had set it down after turning it off and felt sure I had put it on the mantel over the small fireplace in the front room. But it wasn't there when I came down in the morning.
"I think it's over the sink in the kitchen," Jim said. He retrieved it for me. Then he went off to work. Only later did I wonder if Jim had yielded to the temptation to give Greg a call and tell him exactly what he thought. After all, there's automatic callback on my cell phone. After Greg called the children, anybody could push a single button and contact Greg.
The next day, before we left, Jim said, "Sometimes when a man thinks of a woman like a sister, Grace, he might act like an older brother even if she hasn't asked him to." He hesitated. "You know, it's not easy to just stand by and do nothing. Some men can't watch a woman cry and not try to pull a rescue, or at least say something."
His eyebrows were knit. There is not a subtle bone in Jim's body, I thought. "Jim, when a man treats me like his own sister, I don't think I can object if it's across the board. I came to you and Amy Carmichael because I trust you to help me and do the right thing."
So I never asked him if he'd called Greg, and he never told me.
We packed up my car, and Jim and Amy Carmichael both told me to come back, especially if things went wrong. Jim is still worried that Greg might physically hurt me. Greg has never, ever raised a hand to me, never threatened me, and probably raised his voice to me few enough times for me to count them on the fingers of one hand. But for Jim, Greg's adultery has changed all that. At this point, Jim honestly thinks Greg might do anything. I don't think Greg will hurt me, even when I take into account the fact that I never thought he would have an affair.
I promised Jim and Amy Carmichael that I'll keep my cell phone with me. And I promised that even if Greg just threatens me, I'll pack up the children and leave right away.
Later tonight, we pulled into the Best Western for my two little fish to swim one last time before we go home. And I realized why I don't fear Greg that way. He's too pompous to be a wife abuser. He couldn't take the disdain. If every moral restraint leaves him, I think his vanity would still keep him back. But I'm not going to say that to Jim.
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There is life after adultery, Ms Jovian. My wife left me last year for another man. But I have learned to rebuild my life through faith in God. By the way, if you write back, could you please tell me what you are wearing? Do you own a pair of stiletto heels? Do you ever wear chiffon? Please write back.
John Calvin Mack
House of Peace Halfway House
Longview, Texas
We had two more great days with Jim and Amy Carmichael and their family. Greg did call in the evenings to talk with the children, and when he was finished, Ben would say, "He wants to talk to you, Mom."
"And I would say, "Thank you, Son," and then step out of the room, end the call, and turn off the phone.
I did speak with my mother-in-law. She told me Greg had moved out and only wanted me to come back home and try to work things out. Greg was angry about the money I had withdrawn, not raging angry, but very annoyed at what he called my impetuousness. "Let him take money from his 401K and repay it," I told her. "I want an escape route. And he made that necessary."
"All right Grace, all right." She hurriedly backpedaled from expressing his displeasure to me. She didn't want to hear what he had done, and I didn't blame her. We were putting her in the middle, and this also had to stop. I did apologize to her the day we left.
In a way that reminded me of Greg in his better life, she said, "It's not a trouble, Grace. There has to be a calm way for you to think through everything and clearly tell him what he has to do to win you back."
"And determine if he can really do it," I added gently. "I'm not sure he can. But I'll be back in a day or two, and you won't be in the middle any more."
The one odd thing was that the morning after Greg's first phone call to the children, I couldn't find my cell phone. I had set it down after turning it off and felt sure I had put it on the mantel over the small fireplace in the front room. But it wasn't there when I came down in the morning.
"I think it's over the sink in the kitchen," Jim said. He retrieved it for me. Then he went off to work. Only later did I wonder if Jim had yielded to the temptation to give Greg a call and tell him exactly what he thought. After all, there's automatic callback on my cell phone. After Greg called the children, anybody could push a single button and contact Greg.
The next day, before we left, Jim said, "Sometimes when a man thinks of a woman like a sister, Grace, he might act like an older brother even if she hasn't asked him to." He hesitated. "You know, it's not easy to just stand by and do nothing. Some men can't watch a woman cry and not try to pull a rescue, or at least say something."
His eyebrows were knit. There is not a subtle bone in Jim's body, I thought. "Jim, when a man treats me like his own sister, I don't think I can object if it's across the board. I came to you and Amy Carmichael because I trust you to help me and do the right thing."
So I never asked him if he'd called Greg, and he never told me.
We packed up my car, and Jim and Amy Carmichael both told me to come back, especially if things went wrong. Jim is still worried that Greg might physically hurt me. Greg has never, ever raised a hand to me, never threatened me, and probably raised his voice to me few enough times for me to count them on the fingers of one hand. But for Jim, Greg's adultery has changed all that. At this point, Jim honestly thinks Greg might do anything. I don't think Greg will hurt me, even when I take into account the fact that I never thought he would have an affair.
I promised Jim and Amy Carmichael that I'll keep my cell phone with me. And I promised that even if Greg just threatens me, I'll pack up the children and leave right away.
Later tonight, we pulled into the Best Western for my two little fish to swim one last time before we go home. And I realized why I don't fear Greg that way. He's too pompous to be a wife abuser. He couldn't take the disdain. If every moral restraint leaves him, I think his vanity would still keep him back. But I'm not going to say that to Jim.
