Monday, February 06, 2006
Grace Triumphant 016
March 13
Addendum
It struck me today that I am not telling the story I set out to tell. But this has happened. I'll probably never put this on the web or publish it. I'll just excise these parts about Greg and print "only the news that's fit to tell."
Anyway, Benjamin surprised me again last night. When the boys came back from the workshop, all cold and chilled through, he must have felt that he ought to contribute something to his new friends. So as they came in from the cloak room, I heard him say to the boys, "You know, my dad was a champion wrestler in college, and he's shown me some things. Maybe I could show you." Then he lost some of his confidence. "If you like wrestling, I mean."
"Oh Benjamin," I exclaimed, coming in from the kitchen. "Somebody might get hurt." But Jim perked right up, and so did all his sons.
"I'll stay with them, Gracie," Jim said. "I've always wanted to learn a little about wrestling," he added. And he was being sincere. He looked at my son with new interest.
And Benjamin, with the same skill and patience Greg has always shown when he's teaching our son how to wrestle, used Charles Lee and showed Jim, James Jr, and Peter some of the basics. I went back to help Amy Carmichael in the kitchen, but we could both hear his voice, a little loud, but very calm, and yet anxious to get the ideas across.
I was proud of him. Greg had told Ben right from the start that show-offs and bullies lose pretty quickly when real wrestling competition begins. Wrestling requires a calm, ready mind. Remarkably like his father, Benjamin can think when under pressure.
"You see, wrestling is a thinking man's sport," I heard him say, the exact thing his father has told him since he turned six, when Greg gave him his first lesson. Jim's deep reply held no irony or joking: "Yeah, I see what you mean. Jim Jr, try this with me. I want to see if I can do that shrimp-out thing."
For nearly half an hour we heard the thumps and bumps I've gotten used to when Greg is teaching Ben. I can determine from the cadence if they are practicing or rough housing. They put a quilt down to protect against rug burns and tried some of the arm bar drills.
The wrestling did turn into rough housing, but that was because of the girls. They came down from playing upstairs and they wanted to learn wrestling too. It turned into a minute or two of Mad Dog, as Jim chased them on hands and knees and they ran screaming from him.
Then we heard him send everybody out to wash up for dinner. "You have great children, Gracie," Jim said as he came in to help carry the platter to the table.
After dinner, true to his promise, Jim and Amy Carmichael popped popcorn, and then Jim settled into his easy chair with Rosie on his arm and the children sat all around him.
"Your mom and your Aunt Gracie went to this college up in Indiana," he told them. "And the man that ran it treated everybody up there like prisoners. He made the girls dress like farmgirls from a hundred years ago, every day of the week, and none of them could do anything like we let you kids do every day."
"Like what, Dad?" Mark asked.
"Like ride bikes down to the Tastyfreeze---"
"Well I can't do that!" Rosie piped up on his arm.
"You can when you're older," Amy Carmichael said gently. "Don't interrupt, Rosie."
"They couldn't even go walk around the block, not without signed permission and somebody watching all the time."
Ben, not sure how to conduct himself when seven children are sitting around a story teller, raised his hand, then looked at me, puzzled, and then at Jim.
"Yes son?" I asked.
"I thought you went to a Bible college," he said.
"They called it a Bible college," I told him. "But your Uncle Jim is right. It was more like a prison. We never did learn much Bible."
"Except what a real church had to unlearn in you," Jim added. Then he returned to the story. "So Ben, your Aunt Amy and I decided we wanted to get married. I was living here and she was there, far away. So that rascal that ran the place read one of my letters to her in front of the whole college of students, just to humiliate her."
James Jr stared at his mother, horrified. "How many students?"
"Oh, a few hundred, I suppose." Amy Carmichael glanced at me.
"I think back then that GIBC ran about 1500 students," I said.
"And he read the letter in front of everybody?" Jim's oldest son looked at him. "Dad, can you tell us what the letter said?"
"Sure," Jim said. "I told her I loved her and I wanted her with me. I wanted her to leave that horrible place and come marry me and live in this house with me. Her father, your grandfather, and I agreed that I would help her finish some kind of degree program so that if anything ever happened to me, she could find work. But once everybody up here was willing for us to get married, I didn't see any reason for her to stay in that jail for one day longer."
"Mom why didn't you just leave?" Peter asked.
"They wouldn't let me," she said. I helped her out. "They had ways down there, rules, ways to stall you and argue and tangle everything up," I told him.
"So how did you get out?" James Jr asked.
"Your Aunt Gracie got her out," Jim said with a grin at me. "She'd already told me once before she was my friend and she thought your mother and I belong together. She called me up, and she laid out a plan."
Then he went on and told them the story of how Amy Carmichael and I hid in a Saturday morning until the campus was empty, and then Jim came on schedule and got Amy Carmichael out of there.
"Remember that silly security guard?" I asked. "What was his name?"
"Gracie, that silly security guard had a gun on his hip," Jim said.
Amy Carmichael and I burst out laughing.
"Mama, don't laugh," Rachel said to me. "He might have hurt Uncle Jim."
"Children, he was so afraid of Uncle Jim, his knees were almost knocking." I glanced at Jim. "I didn't know your Uncle Jim very well yet, and when he got out of that car, ready to get your Aunt Amy out of there, I thought he would swallow that security guard whole."
"Ricky something," Amy Carmichael added.
"Dad what did you do?" James Jr asked.
"I told him I didn't want to fight, but I was getting my girl out of there," Jim said. "And I wanted your Aunt Gracie to come too." He paused. "I felt like it was the worst thing I ever did, to leave you there, Gracie."
"I needed to stay, Jim." I glanced at James Jr. "Your father just took charge. That guard---Ricky's the right name---just stood there. He sent somebody off to go get help. But we had everything ready and there weren't many people on the campus, so we just put the suitcases in the car and your mother and father drove off."
"What happened to you, Mama?" Rachel asked.
"Nothing, honey," I told her. "Your grandfather Jovian was an important evangelist back then. The school was that sort of place, that if you knew somebody important, you could get away with anything."
Ben was shocked. "That's not right."
"No, and I knew it, but I used it to get your Aunt Amy out of there," I said.
"Good for you, Aunt Gracie," James Jr said.
"If you hadn't gotten her out of there, we might not have been born!" Charles Lee exclaimed with that youthful sense of awe that parents very nearly had messed up the critical importance of having the right children.
Jim burst out with a laugh. "Son, it was God's will for you to be my son. You were born to your mother and me because God has carved you on the palm of His hand, like a craftsman."
"But Dad," James Jr said. "What if Aunt Grace had been caught before you got there?"
Jim shook his head. "No, son. God our Father put the exact right person there, son, to make the exact perfect plan to help us get your mother out of there. God was at work in all of it, and He's at work right now in all of us."
"And that's the sort of thing they never taught us at that Bible college." I added. I was sitting next to Amy Carmichael on the sofa. She took my hand. "But it's true," she said. "In the darkest moment, God is still at work on our behalf, because He gave His Son Jesus Christ to save us. The love that died for us intercedes for us and won't leave us alone in a time of trouble."
My eyes filled up, and I saw Benjamin look at me, and again he looked astonishingly like his father, his father back when Greg could be tender hearted, sorry for me. This little boy who had innocently asked the right question without knowing it, Has Daddy stopped loving us Again, with that rare insight, he knew I was shaken in a way that can only shake grown ups. But I smiled at him and nodded at Jim to tell Ben to listen to him.
Jim's saw the look between us, and his glance rested on my son. The Cherokee eyes were sobered for a moment. Then he said, "Now I want everybody ten years and younger to get into pajamas and slippers and come down to watch the rest of the Incredibles. Older children, I want you to get on coats and salt the walkway and then lock up."
I knew later, as I watched them watching the animated movie with such delight and wonder, that it couldn't stay this way. I had to face the reality of what had happened. I had to make all the hard decisions. I had to let Jim and Amy Carmichael get on with their lives.
But after the DVD had played through, as the children went up to bed, James Jr thanked Ben for teaching them the wrestling techniques. Jim was behind them, and as his son and my son shook hands, Jim added, "That was great, Ben. I appreciate it, too." And Ben turned around and held out his hand and looked up at Jim. I knew he wanted to shake Jim's hand very much. It had never been important to him before. "Good night, Uncle Jim."
Jim shook hands with him. "Good night, young man. I'm proud to have you in my house."
There's a way, I thought, as Benjamin scrambled up the steps, that only a man can fix what's gone wrong for a young man. I decided that even though I needed to go home and face reality, maybe a day or two more with Jim and Amy Carmichael would be wise.
|
Addendum
It struck me today that I am not telling the story I set out to tell. But this has happened. I'll probably never put this on the web or publish it. I'll just excise these parts about Greg and print "only the news that's fit to tell."
Anyway, Benjamin surprised me again last night. When the boys came back from the workshop, all cold and chilled through, he must have felt that he ought to contribute something to his new friends. So as they came in from the cloak room, I heard him say to the boys, "You know, my dad was a champion wrestler in college, and he's shown me some things. Maybe I could show you." Then he lost some of his confidence. "If you like wrestling, I mean."
"Oh Benjamin," I exclaimed, coming in from the kitchen. "Somebody might get hurt." But Jim perked right up, and so did all his sons.
"I'll stay with them, Gracie," Jim said. "I've always wanted to learn a little about wrestling," he added. And he was being sincere. He looked at my son with new interest.
And Benjamin, with the same skill and patience Greg has always shown when he's teaching our son how to wrestle, used Charles Lee and showed Jim, James Jr, and Peter some of the basics. I went back to help Amy Carmichael in the kitchen, but we could both hear his voice, a little loud, but very calm, and yet anxious to get the ideas across.
I was proud of him. Greg had told Ben right from the start that show-offs and bullies lose pretty quickly when real wrestling competition begins. Wrestling requires a calm, ready mind. Remarkably like his father, Benjamin can think when under pressure.
"You see, wrestling is a thinking man's sport," I heard him say, the exact thing his father has told him since he turned six, when Greg gave him his first lesson. Jim's deep reply held no irony or joking: "Yeah, I see what you mean. Jim Jr, try this with me. I want to see if I can do that shrimp-out thing."
For nearly half an hour we heard the thumps and bumps I've gotten used to when Greg is teaching Ben. I can determine from the cadence if they are practicing or rough housing. They put a quilt down to protect against rug burns and tried some of the arm bar drills.
The wrestling did turn into rough housing, but that was because of the girls. They came down from playing upstairs and they wanted to learn wrestling too. It turned into a minute or two of Mad Dog, as Jim chased them on hands and knees and they ran screaming from him.
Then we heard him send everybody out to wash up for dinner. "You have great children, Gracie," Jim said as he came in to help carry the platter to the table.
After dinner, true to his promise, Jim and Amy Carmichael popped popcorn, and then Jim settled into his easy chair with Rosie on his arm and the children sat all around him.
"Your mom and your Aunt Gracie went to this college up in Indiana," he told them. "And the man that ran it treated everybody up there like prisoners. He made the girls dress like farmgirls from a hundred years ago, every day of the week, and none of them could do anything like we let you kids do every day."
"Like what, Dad?" Mark asked.
"Like ride bikes down to the Tastyfreeze---"
"Well I can't do that!" Rosie piped up on his arm.
"You can when you're older," Amy Carmichael said gently. "Don't interrupt, Rosie."
"They couldn't even go walk around the block, not without signed permission and somebody watching all the time."
Ben, not sure how to conduct himself when seven children are sitting around a story teller, raised his hand, then looked at me, puzzled, and then at Jim.
"Yes son?" I asked.
"I thought you went to a Bible college," he said.
"They called it a Bible college," I told him. "But your Uncle Jim is right. It was more like a prison. We never did learn much Bible."
"Except what a real church had to unlearn in you," Jim added. Then he returned to the story. "So Ben, your Aunt Amy and I decided we wanted to get married. I was living here and she was there, far away. So that rascal that ran the place read one of my letters to her in front of the whole college of students, just to humiliate her."
James Jr stared at his mother, horrified. "How many students?"
"Oh, a few hundred, I suppose." Amy Carmichael glanced at me.
"I think back then that GIBC ran about 1500 students," I said.
"And he read the letter in front of everybody?" Jim's oldest son looked at him. "Dad, can you tell us what the letter said?"
"Sure," Jim said. "I told her I loved her and I wanted her with me. I wanted her to leave that horrible place and come marry me and live in this house with me. Her father, your grandfather, and I agreed that I would help her finish some kind of degree program so that if anything ever happened to me, she could find work. But once everybody up here was willing for us to get married, I didn't see any reason for her to stay in that jail for one day longer."
"Mom why didn't you just leave?" Peter asked.
"They wouldn't let me," she said. I helped her out. "They had ways down there, rules, ways to stall you and argue and tangle everything up," I told him.
"So how did you get out?" James Jr asked.
"Your Aunt Gracie got her out," Jim said with a grin at me. "She'd already told me once before she was my friend and she thought your mother and I belong together. She called me up, and she laid out a plan."
Then he went on and told them the story of how Amy Carmichael and I hid in a Saturday morning until the campus was empty, and then Jim came on schedule and got Amy Carmichael out of there.
"Remember that silly security guard?" I asked. "What was his name?"
"Gracie, that silly security guard had a gun on his hip," Jim said.
Amy Carmichael and I burst out laughing.
"Mama, don't laugh," Rachel said to me. "He might have hurt Uncle Jim."
"Children, he was so afraid of Uncle Jim, his knees were almost knocking." I glanced at Jim. "I didn't know your Uncle Jim very well yet, and when he got out of that car, ready to get your Aunt Amy out of there, I thought he would swallow that security guard whole."
"Ricky something," Amy Carmichael added.
"Dad what did you do?" James Jr asked.
"I told him I didn't want to fight, but I was getting my girl out of there," Jim said. "And I wanted your Aunt Gracie to come too." He paused. "I felt like it was the worst thing I ever did, to leave you there, Gracie."
"I needed to stay, Jim." I glanced at James Jr. "Your father just took charge. That guard---Ricky's the right name---just stood there. He sent somebody off to go get help. But we had everything ready and there weren't many people on the campus, so we just put the suitcases in the car and your mother and father drove off."
"What happened to you, Mama?" Rachel asked.
"Nothing, honey," I told her. "Your grandfather Jovian was an important evangelist back then. The school was that sort of place, that if you knew somebody important, you could get away with anything."
Ben was shocked. "That's not right."
"No, and I knew it, but I used it to get your Aunt Amy out of there," I said.
"Good for you, Aunt Gracie," James Jr said.
"If you hadn't gotten her out of there, we might not have been born!" Charles Lee exclaimed with that youthful sense of awe that parents very nearly had messed up the critical importance of having the right children.
Jim burst out with a laugh. "Son, it was God's will for you to be my son. You were born to your mother and me because God has carved you on the palm of His hand, like a craftsman."
"But Dad," James Jr said. "What if Aunt Grace had been caught before you got there?"
Jim shook his head. "No, son. God our Father put the exact right person there, son, to make the exact perfect plan to help us get your mother out of there. God was at work in all of it, and He's at work right now in all of us."
"And that's the sort of thing they never taught us at that Bible college." I added. I was sitting next to Amy Carmichael on the sofa. She took my hand. "But it's true," she said. "In the darkest moment, God is still at work on our behalf, because He gave His Son Jesus Christ to save us. The love that died for us intercedes for us and won't leave us alone in a time of trouble."
My eyes filled up, and I saw Benjamin look at me, and again he looked astonishingly like his father, his father back when Greg could be tender hearted, sorry for me. This little boy who had innocently asked the right question without knowing it, Has Daddy stopped loving us Again, with that rare insight, he knew I was shaken in a way that can only shake grown ups. But I smiled at him and nodded at Jim to tell Ben to listen to him.
Jim's saw the look between us, and his glance rested on my son. The Cherokee eyes were sobered for a moment. Then he said, "Now I want everybody ten years and younger to get into pajamas and slippers and come down to watch the rest of the Incredibles. Older children, I want you to get on coats and salt the walkway and then lock up."
I knew later, as I watched them watching the animated movie with such delight and wonder, that it couldn't stay this way. I had to face the reality of what had happened. I had to make all the hard decisions. I had to let Jim and Amy Carmichael get on with their lives.
But after the DVD had played through, as the children went up to bed, James Jr thanked Ben for teaching them the wrestling techniques. Jim was behind them, and as his son and my son shook hands, Jim added, "That was great, Ben. I appreciate it, too." And Ben turned around and held out his hand and looked up at Jim. I knew he wanted to shake Jim's hand very much. It had never been important to him before. "Good night, Uncle Jim."
Jim shook hands with him. "Good night, young man. I'm proud to have you in my house."
There's a way, I thought, as Benjamin scrambled up the steps, that only a man can fix what's gone wrong for a young man. I decided that even though I needed to go home and face reality, maybe a day or two more with Jim and Amy Carmichael would be wise.
