All right, so my first week of full-time subbing is coming to a close. And even though Monday I was
nearly weeping at my desk come 3:00, it wasn't so much because of the kids themselves---although they tried, God knows they
tried, to put me six feet under that first day, I just wouldn't have it---no, instead, it was the amazing amount of paperwork
and organization that teaching carries with it that upset me so. Those of you that know me well know I'm hardly the most organized
tool in the shed (witness my poor use of metaphor), so this becomes the real challenge of my newly chosen career.
And what about those kids, you say? Well, suffice it to say that, while
the first couple of day were incredibly trying (about 12 out of 30 of them are off-the-chart behavior problems), after three
more days of haranguing, they are finally getting the message that I am their teacher and not just another sub. I'm feeling
better day by day about my organizational duties, I'm getting more and more in tune with what has to happen by the end of
the year and I can finally tell that ultimately this experience will prove to have been an invaluable one. When it's over,
I can truly consider myself a teacher (about time, too, as this whole midlife-career-switching thing has been hugely
anti-climactic, to say the least)...
And a very special shout-out to those of you who sent me best wishes for the start of my longterm subbing
gig. Here are a few comments that remind me that I have friends out there who actually care about me (go figure!)...And PLEASE
ignore the wonky spacing and varying fonts. I can't seen to fix 'em right now.
From Dawg (who else):
You
suck and NO you CANNOT have a Selma Hayek/Penelope Cruz sammich....cuz Miss Selma is mine Mine ALL MINE!! Good luck on the long term sub. I have every confidence that after a week you will have those kids settled down and learnin'.
After all they're 5th graders, be very glad they're not 7th or 8th graders, and yes I am speaking from experience. Hold them to a set standard of behavior and let them know that after
3 strikes against the standard there will be consequences to pay; deliver on those consequences, as in send the rowdy kid(s) down to have a chat with the principal after the 3rd strike. This always worked for me
when I subbed, the kids saw that I meant business, and it got the rowdy kid(s) out of class where they weren't being disruptive. *Most* of the time when the kid(s) come back from the principal's office they are well behaved. You'll be fine.
Karbunckle
The thought of Dawg as a middle school teacher still scares the
bejeeziz out of me---but okay. Thankee, Dawg.
Here's from Dawg's sister Kathleen:
Congrats on the job. go dean! only
3 months until summer vacation. but what i really want to know is what you got against jane austen? hm?
From Mister Mike Allen:
When the going gets tough, the weird get crazy...give 'em a little Nixonian "he's a madman
who just might go too far" and watch 'em snap into line!!
Interestin'
take, Mr. Mike, and sage advice, indeed. Thanks!
From the Libstress:
Fifth grade devil spawn how delightful!! I can see the story
now "Elderly Eagle Rock man submits to trial by fire and emerges triumphant"All the best to you my dear, could be worse - muuuuch worse. :-)
From Cat:
Well, I'm rooting for you...expecting success your class of pre-cons. Do keep us informed. Always good
to hear of your life. Take care you two. Cat
And rumor has it that Cat will be relocating soon to sunny CA sometime soon. Anyone in Santa Cruz or SLO need
a roomie?
And finally, from Leedledeedee:
To Sir With Love,
Good luck - though I don't think you'll need it - show 'em tough love and did you ever read that book I told you about
by Esme what's her name the diary of her first year of teaching? She had a class that had to be worse than Glendale. I sned
you psychic hugs and Mark Twain had to be drunk when he said that. You can't really agree with him... right? Tell me I'm right.
Right? Right?
Goodbye, Mr. Chips,
Love, Leighski
*Sigh* Just to settle this once and for all...I love Janie A. and I love Samuel C. just as much.
I just love the quote.
Hmm. As I write this, I'm hearing strange squealing animal noises right outside my office window. This can't be good.
But hell no I'm not going out there to find out! Oh wait...that smell...holey moley, I think the Skunk Apocalypse
is upon us miserable humans! Everybody run!
Hey, fellow movie geeks! Heard about Netflix yet? Debs and I finally broke down after listening to friends
and family rave on & on about Netflix, the online/postal video rental service. This damn thing rules! Never
thought I'd say this, but I feel reinvigorated toward the entire filmic medium as a result. I've been sick of Blockbuster
for f'kk'n years now and always wished there were an alternative. It's here! Check it out, and if you decide to sign up, lemme
know.
Awww well, I got the job. They offered me the long-term sub position today for a fifth-grade class in
Glendale. I will be their teacher for the remainder of their year, through the end of June, as their regular teacher
has been unable to work due to asthma aggravated by current construction work being done in the school. I'm so on
the fence about it, truly, because I have experienced this class and they are a very tough crowd. These poor kids have
had almost a dozen different subs since January, and thus not a whiff of structure or discipline in that whole time. NOW,
imagine if you will, in walks your humble narrator. I start this coming Monday. Am I happy? Well, I'm pretty sure that
taking this job will almost guarantee me a gig come September somewhere in the vaunted Glendale school district; and for that
I intend on looking to the bright side. After all, it's only three months, and they can't eat me---right? (right?)
I can handle anything for three months. And an extra added benefit: any other class I'm tasked with will seem
like little angels by comparison. SO----please, if you're reading this, send me a little plug
of good luck. The response window is south of here, at the bottom of the page. Let me know you're out there!
I suppose the day after St. Paddy's Day is as good a time as any to get back into the swing of blogging
my life away!
Let's see, some recents happenin's I should scrawl about...
Last week my brother Gy and I make a haj to beautiful downtown Milton, CA, in historic
Calaveras County. Gy flew into Sacramento from his hometown of Billings, Montana, and I drove up, met him at the airport and
we spent the night in Stockton. While there, we imbibed in a fine Mexican dinner and two pitchers of margaritas,
as this shot attests:
Gy taking a picture of me taking a picture of him.
The next morning, we tripped on up to Milton. It was a gorgeous early-spring day, with strange patches
of fog everywhere, but any day is strange in Milton. Once a bustling railhead town, Milton is situated in the foothills
of the Sierra Nevada mountains, in the area known as the Gold Country. Here's what it looks like now.
And yes, that's the entire town! The little clump of trees on the right is the town cemetery, where we buried my
dad back in January 2004. This trip we went to set down the headstone that I'd received in December. We planned it to coincide
with what would have been Dad's 71st birthday. I hope he appreciates it.
Other stuff:
I've been subbing hardcore all around town, but mostly in Glendale and South Pasadena. I'm meeting with the principal
of a Glendale school for a spot as a long-term sub for a rowdy fifth grade class, so we'll see how that goes.
I've been losing myself for hours at a time in the
blogosphere, that vast gallery of wonks and geeks
whose work make
my piddling little attempt at commentary pale in forty different flavors of comparison. But what
a wonderfulness! In case you're interested, you should download and install a little (and free!) program called
SharpReader; then go to your fave blog sites (some of mine include
The Daily Kos,
AmericaBlog,
Wonkette and
Alternet ), look for an
RSS link, copy and paste that address into your SharpReader's "subscribe" function,
and voila! All the news that you can possibly read, distilled into digestible chunks and all linked to even more sites of
interest. It's the new way to read and in some ways even
make news (see the ongoing chatter about the Jeff Gannon/Guckert
scandal--a
genuine scandal--that the mainstream ---or "LIBERAL"---media has yet to touch fully). I'm way
hooked!
Anyway, that's a pretty good way to get back into it. If anyone gives SharpReader a try, lemme know how it works
for you! And no, they're not paying me for this ringing endorsement. Damn shame, too.
I finally read John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Never read it before--never had to! In any case, as
most of you will already know (since most people have already read it), it's a terrifically written short novel about hardscrabble
guys working the fields of the San Jouquin Valley in the Depression. I could almost see my grandfather working alongside
these guys. A great shot of California history, both hopeful and sad.
One of the most interesting developments of recent weeks is in finally re-establishing contact with probably my oldest acquaintance
outside of family, Terri L. She and I go waaaaay back---like around 1964 or so---when we used to run around the hills of Ventura
climbing trees and pretending to be secret agents. She probably doesn't remember this, but...she was the first girl I ever
kissed. Where the hell were our parents!? In any case, it's a great pleasure to be chatting once again after so many years.